Praises from the Deepest Dungeons

“Then I pray to you, O Lord.  I say, “You are my place of refuge.  You are all I really want in life.”  Psalms 142:5

This sweet vase of flowers and note come from one of my biggest warriors.  Lauren Grace Perry has battled with me and for me on and off the field, and I just love her.  Her dad is a great flower gardener…didn’t know this.  But, her mom and LG brought me this sweet vase with dinner last night.  Blessed.  Blessed.

Ya’ll…. I cannot believe all that has gone on the last couple of days!  Every day I am blown away!  So I have completed 5 days of treatment… and I thankful because I am relaxed and just spending my time under that mask in prayer.  Listen, I am blessed and thankful to pray over every request that I have written down while the Lord does what he does for me.  It has been such a peaceful time for me…. well it was peaceful for about 16 minutes today.  Had a bit of a stressful moment, I thought.

So, I have been blessed with so many Biblical Truths and reminders on these bracelets that I wear all the time.  So obviously they have told me to make sure I take every metal piece off before treatment.  So it’s become just a habit as I get called back and have 5 minutes before I begin to take everything off.  I get to the back and I am about to lay on the stretcher/table thing and the lady tells me that I have my dolphin earring still in.  I’ve decided to wear my old dolphin earring as a reminder to me of all the girls I coach and what the “Dolphin” name, legacy, motto ect is about and to just really keep these girls at the center of my prayers and push through forward.  Oh good…here take the earring I forgot about that, I told the tech.

I get strapped in and begin to pray and listen to my worship music, just good.  A couple of minutes later I realized that my right hand was touching something on my left hand…my wedding band!  Now obviously that’s metal and I’m strapped under this thing – can’t say much and I know they are getting close to start zapping.  So I use my index finger and start doing a circle movement.  Course my friend told me that probably looks like, “go ahead and get this thing going, I”m ready.”  Well, no one responded to this and next thing I know the zapping starts.  I have to admit my heart probably started to race a bit and my prayers were a bit selfish at that moment.  I was thinking, “Lord is my finger going to start to burn…could it fall off?  Is my head going to get zapped wrong….”  (if you are laughing it’s ok…) . It was a little unnerving for 40 seconds.  I have learned that they come in and move me around after every zap so I was trying to pull my ring off of my of course swollen finger.  With the mask on, my articulation is about zero, but I got the tech’s attention and handed her my ring.  Praise the Lord, she told me that it was ok as long as it wasn’t around my head/neck.  Geez….. memories and learning experiences…

When we finished Nikki and I left and decided we would go to a sale and grab just a quick little something for lunch.  In and Out and that’s it.  Well an hour later we were introduced to a whole new place and enjoying aloe shot samples, smoothie samples and tea samples.  Seriously laughed so hard while we were in there and we kept asking about the ingredients and everything.  I had to ask Nikki if she was ok to drive after all of our “Aloe shots”.  Great memories and here I am 4 hours later….I’m not hungry and I feel great!  May have found a new place to grab a quick bite.  Very fun, we will be going back.

“Bring me out of prison so I can thank you.  The godly will crowd around me, for you are good to me.”

Psalm 142:7

In my time with the Lord yesterday…. yep He blew me away again.  We are naturally resistant to hard times.  We don’t like to struggle and honestly we just like to “live” life.  That’s me.  I have to admit I have been praying for some specific things lately and I have asked God to do whatever he needs to do in these situations for certain people to know him in a greater way.  Yesterday as I brushed my teeth, the thought came to me that perhaps this was my answer to prayer.  Can God use even what seems terrible, unbearable, unbelievable to draw others to himself?  I have seen Him do it and I believe He can.

I was reading about Paul and Silas in Acts 16.  Paul had done something wonderful for a young girl, he called out a demon from a girl and the town was in an uproar because they were hoping that this girl would bring them great wealth.  Paul and Silas were thrown into prison after they were stripped and beaten.  The jailer was told that they needed to ensure that they didn’t escape, so they were locked deep in the jail.

I have to admit, it would be easy at this moment, as Paul and Silas to be filled with despair and to feel hopeless.  Here they are doing something good – helping a girl – and then they are beaten and thrown in prison.  Seems unfair… But that’s not how God works!  He never wastes difficulties or struggles, HE USES them to bring glory to himself and to strengthen His people.

Acts 16:25-28

²⁵ About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them. ²⁶ Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everyone’s chains came loose. ²⁷ The jailer woke up, and when he saw the prison doors open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself because he thought the prisoners had escaped. ²⁸ But Paul shouted, “Don’t harm yourself! We are all here!”

What was the response by Paul and Silas?  Were they complaining, worrying or wondering what was next?  No they were focused on the Lord and completely committed to worship.  How different would my life be…would your life be, if in the middle of hardship and difficulty we were completely focused on worshipping?  Paul and Silas had the opportunity to draw others into their worship and witness during a difficult time.  And then Paul in the middle of the unexplained earthquake, is worried about and ministers to the jailer – the one who was in charge of his hardship.  Oh, if we could take our eyes off of ourselves to see others around us as they suffer or mistreat us and minister to them.  How different would our world look?  

He goes on to write…

²⁹ The jailer called for lights, rushed in and fell trembling before Paul and Silas.³⁰ He then brought them out and asked, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”

³¹ They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.” ³² Then they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all the others in his house. ³³ At that hour of the night the jailer took them and washed their wounds; then immediately he and all his household were baptized. ³⁴ The jailer brought them into his house and set a meal before them; he was filled with joy because he had come to believe in God—he and his whole household.

 I love this!  The jailer knew that his life had been spared and he knew that there was something going on in this place.  He was bold enough to ask the tough question and then listen to a beaten up prisoner.  Paul spoke with complete Truth and confidence and told the man what was missing in his life.  And then this jailer’s life changed.  I underlined how we know.  My favorite part is that HE WAS FILLED WITH JOY!  Listen when JESUS is real in your life and you recognize your need and dependence on Him, He fills you with complete JOY that cannot be explained.  Paul, Silas, the Jailer and his family were filled with Joy in dark and hard circumstances.  

My answer to people to how I am doing right now… I feel, filled with JOY and HOPE.  I am 100% confident that the Lord has brought me to this and will bring me through this… SO THAT others can see His Hands working and realize that He is who He says He is.  I may be in prison right now….but I am singing and praying and just in awe of what I have seen God already do.

I am happy to pray for you…. to talk to you… to minister to you if you will allow me the opportunity.  You are a BIG part of this journey for me and I am blessed… blessed to BE a HOPE WARRIOR each and every day!

This was from my quiet time this morning and I just to meditate on the attributes of God – How can we not stop and just praise him – even in our deep dungeons?!