My sweet neighbor got me these precious Bible Truth cards and this one I pulled out this morning had me crying. Who Am I that The God of the universe wants to remind me that HE IS IN CONTROL AND I NEED NOT FEAR. He made my flesh and holds it together…is anything too hard for Him? I hope if you are struggling… you will read this and remember that NOTHING IS TOO HARD FOR HIM! I need this Truth everyday as I head into the radiation treatment table….
Thank you so much for all of the prayers, text messages and calls just letting me know that you are all praying for me as walk into the mask. Finished day two and called those angels in with me and was blessed to have the opportunity to listen to some of my favorite worship music songs from one of my sweet soccer players who made me a CD to listen to while getting treatment.
When I got on the table and told them I had a CD to listen to the tech asked if it was top 40, and course he doesn’t know me yet. But, I told them, no it was worship music made by one of my players. They asked me how loud I wanted it to be and I said turn it way up. They told me they may not hear me if I need something so I would have to move my hands to signal them. What they may or may not realize, I cannot move my mouth or make any noise if I wanted to anyway – but it was good to know they would look for hand gestures lol. So there I was laying on the table with my warrior t-shirt and my hot pink blanket, from another one of my players hoping the two song maximum was going to be all they would zap me for. Well, four songs later – 7 zaps we were done. Each zap lasts about 30-40 seconds. I try to count sometimes and then I think it almost makes me breathe harder so it’s best for me to just sing the songs in my head and forget the laser show going on above me.
I will have 29 more treatments. Please pray that with each treatment my heart remains calm and my breathing is steady. The last thing I want to do is panic because you can’t get out of that thing fast….Pray also that I have the opportunity to encourage the other patients around me and the tech people working. So many hurting people around me and I want to be the light I have been called to be.
As I was reading in Psalms 139 this morning of course the Lord spoke right to my heart and I wanted to share what he showed me:
1 O Lord, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me.
(To know that you are known by the God of the Universe….with all the millions of people he sees me and knows me.)
2 You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
3 You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
4 You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
5 You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to understand!
(He knows where I am and where I am going…he knows my doubts, struggles, my deepest desires – nothing is hidden from him. Nothing I do surprises him. No struggle I go through or where I am right now with cancer surprises him – David says it’s too wonderful for our wee little minds to comprehend)
7 I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
8 If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave,[a] you are there.
9 If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.
(No matter where we try and go and hide or how desperate or hurting we may be, we CANNOT escape the presence of the Lord. He is there waiting and ready for us to reach out our hand and to desire for him to lead us and guide us in our hardest moments. He promises his hand to guide us and strength to support us…. we simply need to just ASK.)
These promises in Psalms meant a lot to me this morning especially after reading the card I shared up top……and as I read vs 5 this morning I wept. I wept because the Lord has promised HIS HAND OF BLESSING ON MY HEAD. To know that this morning the God of the universe knew that I needed to be reminded that he has my head in his hands and that he has promised to bless me was such a sweet moment of HOPE in the middle of my battle was just what I needed to battle day 2 of treatment.
I have been so blessed by so many people the last few days… my sweet friend Nikki is dropping me off, picking me up…she’s like an Uber/taxi for me. My sweet friend Elizabeth and her daughters came and found me yesterday getting a Bible engraved a the bookstore so they could bless me and hug me after my first treatment. Please lift up her mom who is also undergoing treatment. Their family has meant the world to me for along time and I love them all! I got 5 cards from a family in Tulsa I don’t know – just praying scripture over me. I’m telling you what…God desires for me to know that He hasn’t left me or abandoned me and he is using his people to just be His hands and feet to me. Just so blessed.
Please continue to pray:
- For Complete peace and God’s grace in the treatment
- That the radiation and chemo is being effective to treat the cancer
- For my strength and energy to remain high – I have lots i want to get to!
- I’m having a different sensation in my throat/upper neck – doesn’t hurt, doesn’t last long I really can’t even explain it..but I just want to rest in it when it happens….blood pressure/heart rate is good
- Our older three leave tomorrow from their mission trip in Denver -safe travels home and a God honoring last day there. They’ve had a blessed time and seen God do some amazing things…so I am thankful
Praying for healing, strength and peace as you work your way through treatment.
Thank you warrior! Continue to lift me up and pray boldly for complete healing! God has this!
thank you Bonny for sharing my requests… Means so much to me. I am holding tight to the promises of God and trusting and leaning into what I am seeing him already doing. Thank you for your continued encouragement and prayers. You are a blessed warrior of mine!