Today is Tuesday and honestly Sunday and Monday were sort of a blur for me. I had been blessed to be prayed over Sunday at church and through Scott’s cousin who drove down from Kansas to lay hands on me. I believe that the Lord may have used his power, spoken through his people to heal me, but I don’t know that at this moment so I have been living in a very real battle.
I have really been at peace with this whole situation and I cannot explain how that’s possible, except that God has given that peace to me. A clear path had been given to me to follow for treatment and I was focused on that walking forward. However, the Lord decided to give me something new and now it’s a battle in my mind and what to do going forward.
We have been blessed with a wonderful neighbor who works at UAMS in the brain tumor area – sorry I know there’s correct titles and specific jobs, but I don’t remember! Anyway, Scott and I have been given the opportunity to go today to visit with a doctor who specializes in removing tumors prior to treatment. He feels like my tumors could be removed and then with a clean brain cavity we attack the remaining cells through radiation and chemo. The whole idea of this has really tripped me up and now I’m really praying through which direction the Lord desires for us to follow. I have to admit it’s a lot to allow someone access close to my brain and work in there when something could get cut or something could happen while they are in there. There’s the second part of this which is that the second surgery they would have me awake while they remove things. I’ve never been a doctor person or surgery person so it’s all new to me. So I am battling the fear, the unknown and the correct path to follow.
I am really asking for serious prayer for me today. Here is where I need you to focus:
- No FEAR – that I may completely trust the Lord in the decision that is best for us
- Clear DIRECTION – Scott and I are praying that we will have peace to know which direction we follow – it’s an either or
- Confident DECISION – I’m not a confident decision maker and I love to get other people’s input. I know in the end the final decision on what we choose will rest on my shoulders and that is hard for me to accept.
- Total HEALING – praying that God uses whichever direction to completely heal me. I haven’t focused on this much, but I know that God desires for us to ask what is on our hearts so I am asking for this
The devil desires to pick me off and to not allow the story of Christ to penetrate the hearts of those the Lord is drawing close. But we have been given a battle plan. I was reading through 1 Peter 5:8-11 and these Truths were necessary for me today and I pray they speak to your heart as well:
8 – Be ALERT and of SOBER MIND. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
- We must understand that we are in a battle. When we sit back and relax we allow ourselves to be an easy target and our faith and growth will be affected. We must call out these attacks and stand behind Jesus so we come forth victorious.
9- RESIST him, standing FIRM in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
- Hard times are rarely things we rejoice over. However, in my life I have seen the Lord grow me and use the hardest times to make my faith stronger and who he is more real then the easy times.
- We are never walking this journey alone. I have been so blessed by so many of you as you share your stories of your own lives and it has encouraged me to press forward and continue to keep my eyes fixed forward on the Lord. The Lord never wastes are suffering. Thank you for encouraging me and lifting me up as you share your own battles.
10- And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will HIMSELF RESTORE YOU and make you STRONG, FIRM AND STEADFAST.
- I am clinging to this promise and truth. God HIMSELF will restore me and he will use this to make me strong, my faith firm and steadfast. He promises to never waste our difficulties. I don’t know what my restoration will look like – but I do know in the end I will be restored completely in his glory to worship him forever.
11-TO HIM BE THE POWER for every and ever. Amen.
- God has all the power to heal me….today….next week or when he chooses. I am asking him to do that. I don’t know if his desire is to use this new opportunity that has been given to me or that he desires to use what we had planned before. But I believe that he has the power to do it.
Please pray through these verses with me the next couple of days. We will have many decisions to make and I want to be faithful to follow the Lord’s path for us. I don’t want to get pulled into the battle and I don’t want to allow the devil to have one moment of my life to distract me or pull me away from what the Lord desires to do through me.
Thank you friends for holding up my arms in this battle, like Joshua and Hur did for Moses in Exodus 17-I cannot walk and succeed in this battle alone – I need arm holders to defeat this! 
“I am counting on the Lord; yes, I am counting on him. I have put my hope in his word.” Psalm 130:5
Nicole, you don’t know me, but I went to high school with Scott. Just wanted to let you know I am praying for you, Scott and your family. As well as your doctors, nurses and caregivers.
My family has dealt with its share of cancer. I hate that word. I wanted to tell you though it gets hard remember that God never puts us through something, if he doesn’t think we can handle it. A lot of times you may feel like why me. God has His reasons. I think one of them maybe you sharing your testimony with everyone, thru your block, and touching people with it.
I was diagnosed with asthma after college and had a pretty good life, until 2008 when I spent more time in the hospital than I did at work. Needless to say, my doctor told me that I needed to quit working. That my heart couldn’t continue to handle the drugs, and oh by the way, you can’t chance having children, if you do there is a huge chance that you or the child or both could die during childbirth. Did I mention, I had just been married a year and we had already decided what we would name our kids. Lord I was mad. I cried. Me disabled at 35. Not how I pictured my life. What did we do? We prayed. I told God I didn’t understand why He was doing this to me. I had always worked. How we’re we going to make it on one income. At first, I ranted at God, then Steven, my husband, said, Don’t be mad at God. He’ll see us through. Of course, he was right. I prayed to God. Told Him if this is the path, He has chosen for me, I will follow it. I thanked Him for giving Steven to me (not many people would stay with someone, only a year after being married, that was now disabled), said if I wasn’t meant to have children that was fine too. That I was handing everything to him. You know what? I had piece after that. Now, I have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, arthritis and severe asthma. God knew what was headed my way, and prepared me. I am telling you this to let you know God knows your future, and only him. Continue to lean on him. He will carry you through everything.
I will continue to pray for you. Your testimony shows a lady strong in her faith. May God Bless you. He will lead you in the right direction with your upcoming decisions on your care.
God, our heavenly Father, I ask that you watch over Nicole. Restore her to her health, if it is Your will. Be with Scott and her, as they decide rather to have surgery before her treatments. Watch over her children and help them to understand what is going on and why. Use Nicole in the
way You see fit. I pray Lord that this coming year, You will have her back on the soccer field coaching her team. In Jesus name Amen.
Monica you are such a blessing! God has used your journey to minister to me and for that I will always be thankful. He has his plans for me and for you and all we are guaranteed is this moment. Thank you for taking your moment to encourage me and to keep me focused on the Lord. He is my constant and desires for me to grow and depend on him no matter what. I pray that I can faithfully fight well and stay steadfast so others may see Jesus in how I choose to live. He has a plan in this and for that I am thankful. Blessings and prayers for you today. Thank you again for reaching out, it means a lot to me.
Nicole, you don’t know me personally but I am Richard Jacuzzi’s mom. I know how special you are to his family. I just wanted you to know you will be in my thoughts and prayers in this battle.
Thank you so much Barbara. Your family has meant so much to me through the years…course love your grandkids! I covet every prayer and just know God has got a plan for all of this!
Praying for all your needs.
Thank you Stacey. That is what I need most – lots of prayers
Nicole, God is definitely uses you right now. Your faith and trust bring inspiration to me and many others. We continue to hold you and yours up in prayer. Our God is able!
Yes HE IS! Thank you continue to lift us up. Blessings
This is some good stuff Nicole! Praying with you and trusting fully❤️
Thank you Janie! Trusting the Lord …..
Praying with you through this
Thank you! I need every prayer!
Praying for you and your family and will pray this specifically over you. The peace that passes understanding is such a welcome comfort, but shows up in the most difficult of times. May God give you a clear path to a decision and confirm it for you.
Thanks Debbie! I see him already laying out his plan and giving me his peace. Continue to pray!
I’m praying and believing with you for God’s decision for you ! Trusting and knowing He is God Almighty, the God who heals.
Amen! Thank you
Hi Nicole I am praying for total healing and restoration for you. If anyone I know could respond to this challenge it would be you. I know your faith is strong and that God does not make mistakes. We are going to see his word revealed through your journey. I trust in the power of God for healing and miracles. Know that you are prayed for and loved. Alexis also prays for your healing. We love you and will continue to pray for you.
Humbling Karen….I keep asking the Lord who am I that he chose me to tell his story this way. But, He continues to minister to me and hold me up. What a blessing and challenge it has been. He will get the glory and bring people to himself. That is all I can ask for in life. Blessings and keep praying!
Praying our Lord will under take this and see you, Scott and your children throughout this difficult time. He is in control and will see you through this. Blessings and prayers!
Amen! He has a plan and will see us through. Completely at his feet trusting him to use every moment and hold us up. Continue to pray and trust the Lord to show up and get the glory!
Nicole
Your faith along with your candidness about your fears are inspiring. I do not pretend to understand your fears and doubts but I have been through similar circumstances with a close friend. The one constant is God. He is in control and I believe he is hearing all of the prayers. You now have two choices – not one, but two. Although it may cloud your thought process momentarily, he will give you the answers you seek. Like with my friend, God is so good and he is the great physician so I think this journey has great purpose. You’ve brought together strangers to pray and share and show compassion. Already, you’ve impacted others through your postings about your struggles and decisions. The most inspiring part about what I see In this is your unwavering faith. You are inspiring people through this!!
You and Scott and your family are in my prayers. God’s got this!
Thank you Allison! I am just on my knees in complete trust and knowing that God always has a plan in everything. Thank you for the message and the prayers!
Hi Nicole,
I don’t know if you remember me, my husband (Shawn) and I used to attend Henderson UMC, my in laws were Bessie, Dorothea, & Harold Humble. Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for sharing this journey, your thoughts & concerns with all of us. Your faith, strength, and courage are such an inspiration. I am praying for you.
XOXO, Angela
I do!!!! You have great family depth! Thank you for praying and lifting up our family. Trusting the Lord to move and do something we are expecting. He will get the glory in and through this whole thing!
Nicole… Patti and I both are praying for you… Our prayer is for a miraculous complete healing… we are also praying for Scott and the kids that their faith would be strengthened in their hearts would be stayed on Him
Thanks Joe – Trusting the Lord. I know he isn’t going to waste this and he has plan for it. I don’t know the end – but I know it’s for my best and for his Glory -so I rest in that. Continue to pray for God to heal me and for him to get all the glory!
Nicole, you are a powerful example of faith and I will be praying that God points you to the right decision as you seek treatment. I just learned of your situation yesterday and began praying then that God’s mighty hand will be on you during this journey. I pray for the medical teams that will minister to you and that your friends and church family will be there to lift up you, Scott, your children, and all of your family. You are not in this battle alone. You are loved and admired by many people and the Great Physician hears our prayers and the cries of your heart.
Thank you for the sweet message…The Lord is moving and he is not going to waste a moment of this. Thank you for walking with me in this journey and for praying for me. God is our Great Physician and he does hear us and I am so thankful for that! Blessings
Thank you Bonny! I need the arm holders to pray for me and encourage me to stay focused on the Lord no matter what! Thank you so much
Thank you Kelly for the encouragement and the testimony that you offer…God is bigger than anything we will go through and he will not waste a moment of it! He has a plan and I am trusting him every moment. THank you for sharing your story and praying. God will move and his Glory will bring me to my knees every day. Praise God that he uses even hard things to draw us closer to him. How thankful are we?!!!Blessings and praise!
Sweet Nicole, I’ve been praying through the tears these last few weeks. Have my church praying for you too. Thank you so much for pouring out your heart and your blessings to all of us. This must be unspeakably hard to walk through, but your faith in the Great Healer and Comforter will carry you through. I’m claiming it! I know you and your family do, too. BTW, a man who used to go to our church went through cancer. He wrote a book about it, using his story to tell His story. and I’d like to send it to you. It’s Out of the Blue by Greg Martha.
Listen I’m reading a bunch lately and i love the stories and encouragement each story brings me. I woul d love to read it! Thank you for the prayers…the Lord has a story to tell and I just need to focus on what He’s going to do not where I am . Blessings
Nicole,
We don’t know each other, I am Shelby Harrison Bailey’s mother in law. I also go to Geyer Springs. I want to let you know I am praying for you. God is greater than this cancer and I am claiming a victory for you. Be Still and Know that I am God!
Prayers for you,
Peggy Bailey
Thank you! I am completely resting in the Lord and thankful for the prayers from every warrior! God has his story to tell and I am just trusting him!