This is Alissa again, Nicole’s sister. Nicole and I have always had a great relationship growing up. We were the only girls among 4 brothers! Ha! We naturally became close because it was just us two girls.
My husband and I have 6 young kids together and 8 kids in total. We live in the Texas Hill Country now on a small farm and I enjoy homeschooling my kids. We love going to our cabin in Minnesota and spending time with my family, who mostly resides there.
Nicole and I are so much a like but yet so different. I could always learn something from her and loved her advice about everything. She had such a strong faith and she was strong while she suffered on earth because of her faith in our Sovereign God Almighty. She was my best friend and I confided in her about everything.
Before Nicole was sick my family lived in Dallas and our families often saw each other multiple times a year. It was such a blessing. I know you are wondering why I am writing and will continue to write. Well, when I wrote last year, it was for Nicole. It was something I should have helped her do long ago when it was hard for her to write, and she was declining. This blog is hers.
The last blog post in December was intended to be the last one. However, God has spoken to me many times and tugged at my heart in different ways. I know people need to continue to see God in the midst of the brokenness. I know Nicole would want people who are suffering to find Hope in the one who owns it all. And for people to experience our Father during the midst of suffering and loss of a loved one.
I didn’t suffer like Nicole, but I was there to support, listen, encourage, and pray with her. Her story needs to be heard, to the people that need encouragement and looking for comfort. And for people to know life is a celebration no matter how long or short it is, that our eyes need to focus and redirect not on ourselves but to our Creator.
Our world isn’t going to change until our Savior comes. It is a broken world full of sin. Filled with suffering all over the place. Suffering is real. Spiritual. Physical. The Bible never treats suffering as anything but real and life changing. In fact the Bible contains many stories on suffering. Did you know there are 67 lament psalms? That means over 40% of the Psalms are about suffering and sorrow. Not only does the Bible NOT minimize suffering, but it gives the voices of our cries. The Psalms records all the emotional and spiritual aspects of every person that has suffered.
There will be a time each one of us will suffer and grieve in many different ways. The Bible gives us all we need to help us get through our pain. The word of God doesn’t just give us Savior, but a suffering Savior, Jesus. He suffered not just one moment, but every second he lived on earth. He was despised. Persecuted. Beaten. Forsaken. Tortured. Rejected. Jesus knew why He came to the earth. He knew the end of his life. He knew His purpose. He stayed the course and bore the pain. Each Day. There is no one that can understand pain and suffering more, than the one we call on. God is above all and His love extends beyond what we can see. His love endures forever, for us. We are His greatest creation. In Psalms 136 it says, :”
Psalm 136
1 Give thanks ” to the Lord, for he is good. “
His love endures forever. “
2 Give thanks ” to the God of gods. “
His love endures forever.
3 Give thanks” to the Lord of lords:”
His love endures forever.
4 to him who alone does great wonders, “
His love endures forever.
5 who by his understanding” made the heavens, “
His love endures forever.
6 who spread out the earth” upon the waters, “
His love endures forever.
7 who made the great lights\l “—
His love endures forever.
8 the sun to govern\l ” the day,
His love endures forever.
9 the moon and stars to govern the night;
His love endures forever.
10 to him who struck down the firstborn\l ” of Egypt
His love endures forever.
11 and brought Israel out\l ” from among them
His love endures forever.
12 with a mighty hand\l ” and outstretched arm;\l “
His love endures forever.
13 to him who divided the Red Sea[a]\l ” asunder
His love endures forever.
14 and brought Israel through\l ” the midst of it,
His love endures forever.
15 but swept Pharaoh and his army into the Red Sea;\l “
His love endures forever.
16 to him who led his people through the wilderness;\l “
His love endures forever.
17 to him who struck down great kings,\l “
His love endures forever.
18 and killed mighty kings\l “—
His love endures forever.
19 Sihon king of the Amorites\l “
His love endures forever.
20 and Og king of Bashan\l “—
His love endures forever.
21 and gave their land\l ” as an inheritance,\l “
His love endures forever.
22 an inheritance\l ” to his servant Israel.\l “
His love endures forever.
23 He remembered us\l ” in our low estate
His love endures forever.
24 and freed us\l ” from our enemies.\l “
His love endures forever.
25 He gives food ” to every creature.
His love endures forever.
26 Give thanks” to the God of heaven. “
His love endures forever. “
This Psalm is about God’s loyalty to His people. “His loving kindness is everlasting” is repeated 26 times. God’s love is certain. It is unchanging. In fact the whole Psalms 136 is not forgetting about who God is, when we go through suffering. We need to remember, not forget about the difficulty we are going through, but focus on our loving Savior. One of God’s strongest attributes is love. He is also the provider. The protector. The Rescuer. The defeater. The Creator. The Ruler of all. This Psalm illustrates God’s power and authority over everything. However, it also means all of our suffering is out of His love and care for us. God is the same as He always has been.
I am thankful for each day I was able to have with Nicole. I am thankful that God picked her out for me and all the moments we had together. Those moments and memories were part of God’s plan, just like her cancer was too. She never was in control, but God in His divine power was the whole time. Nicole surrendered her life to the one and only. She knew her cancer was part of His plan and He knew the outcome. She knew that it was out of love and His desire was for Her to be close to Him. I am so thankful for God’s love, comfort, and blessed that He gave me a wonderful woman of God I can learn from.For Mother’s Day this year my brothers and I gave my mom this canvas picture. The scripture on the canvas is from Proverbs 31:28, “Her Children rise up and call her blessed. ” The context of this passage is from a woman who fears the Lord. There are many attributes listed in this passage that are noble, godly, gracious, and wise. My mother has always had a passion to serve the Lord, and to provide godly wisdom to us kids. She woke up early in the morning to get us breakfast, while we slept. She had homemade cookies ready at home when we arrived off the bus. She put notes in our lunch boxes. She taught us how to be frugal with money and live without debt. She is the lady always helping or giving a gift to someone she barely knows. She knows all the clerks and people at the store, because she gets to know them. She loves us and always has a gentle heart not just for us, but for every person. She is blessed, because we appreciate all the things she has done for us and love what she modeled for us growing up. We are so thankful to have had her as our mom. She is blessed to have had 6 kids and for Nicole to be the one who had kids first because they were able to spend so much time together.
Over the years my mom was able to see what a wonderful wife, mother, and woman on God Nicole turned out to become. Not only Nicole but how her impact helped shape the strong Christian children Nicole left behind. My Mother is blessed.
In May Abbey and Ashton graduated High School! I can’t believe it! How does time go so fast? My brother Mike and his family as well as my parents made it to the graduation. It was fun celebrating Abbey and Ashton. It was wonderful to see Scott, his parents, Garrett, and Nathan. I love these people so much and sure miss seeing them all the time. My family was able to spend the whole weekend with them and I even was able to sneak some shopping in with the girls! Yay! Nicole would be so proud of her girls. They both graduated with a 4.0, high honors and also won awards for soccer.
Nicole would be most proud of the strong young women of God these two have become. Their faith as well as Garretts is pretty amazing. I know Nicole took every opportunity to spend time with them and grow their faith. Not only talk to them but model it. I have been so blessed by being able to talk to my nieces each week, pray with them, laugh, and dive into God’s word. They are remarkable young ladies that are warriors for our Lord. We have some great conversations about who God is and what He is doing in our lives. I can’t wait to see how God uses what they have been through to refine them and shape them.
Nicole’s kids are the oldest in our family out of the cousins, and boy does all their little cousins love them. I think Garrett and Nathan had some fun chasing them around and being silly. I can’t tell you how much my boys just can’t wait to see Nathan and Garrett. My kids look up to them so much!
If you know someone that is going through suffering or about to lose someone, I encourage you to show them this blog. The blog WILL continue to be updated where God has led me to share with you and what I feel Nicole would want you to hear.
If you are here and are experiencing suffering in any way, please click on contact. I would love to pray with you. I am sorry you are experiencing what you are going through. May our Father give you comfort and may you find confidence in Him. He knows everything and sees what you are going through.
2 Corinthians 1: 3 “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compasion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.“
