Encouragement Posts Archives

The Mask

“When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer.”

Psalm 94:19

As I am sitting here getting to write this, it occurs to me that this is the first Saturday in over a month at least that I have nothing on my schedule. The steroids have me busy working and cleaning but, I have no where to be. May was filled with the end of the soccer season and state tourneys and getting ready to try and pull out the state high school championship. The last two weeks ends were filled with hospital stays and getting the diagnosis that we are now faced with. So I’m sitting here thinking about the fact that it’s Saturday and I have no where to be and no schedule. Very different for me.

This past week has been filled with dr appointments and working through the diagnosis and new reality that we will face moving forward. Some days I wonder if it’s really hit me or has God really just given me the peace I need to not have one ounce of worry at all. While I am at peace, I have to be honest getting the mask fitting yesterday wasn’t as easy as I had hoped and prayed it would be.

It reminded me of the movie “Man in the Iron Mask” where one of the twin brothers was forced to live with a metal mask on his face as punishment from his brother. The moment the mask was removed – you could see freedom and rest he hadn’t experienced before. This image came to my mind as I lay on the table getting my own mask fitted yesterday.

For my radiation treatment I will go for 6 weeks everyday to basically lay on a machine and get specific passes of radiation for a small time frame. I don’t know exactly how many minutes it will take, but I have been ok with the idea of it and accepted it as what I need to do. Well, yesterday I went in to get my mask fitted for the table. Some of you will know what I’m talking about and some of you may have had your own mask fitting at some point – goodness if this is you, so many prayers and new understanding. It was new to me.

I walked into the room and they told me I needed to take out all my jewelry and I needed to take my braid and cute little scarf off my hair and then lay on the table. They needed to band my legs together I guess so I didn’t move and then the tech began working on the foam pillow my head was on so it was formed however it was supposed to be. He showed me the flat screen that they would warm for 5 minutes to put over my head and he finished what he needed to do. He brought the flat mask over to attach to my head and then we realized my hair would get stuck to the mask, so we really need a shower cap on first to save my hair, lol. So we did that and then had to wait another 5 minutes for the new mask to warm up.

As he brought the mask over, I really was relaxed just focused and spending time talking to the Lord in my mind. He pulled the flat plastic (which would open for holes once stretched), and worked to attach it to the table. I had been warned I couldn’t move at all and he worked to create little pockets of air for my nose and encouraged me to open my mouth a bit so I could breath through my mouth as well.

Did I enjoy this process? No. Was I ok? Yes. Did I stay ok, probably not – but, thankfully the beeping and movement didn’t last any longer so the heat sweats and racing heart didn’t cause me to scream or start over. I don’t tell you all of this to make you feel bad for me or freak you out, but for you to understand what getting a mask is like and a way for you to pray for me going forward. I will be strapped under this mask everyday and I can’t move while I’m there. I’m praying the Lord gives me focus and clarity for those moments so that I can sing in my mind or review Bible passages and not allow my heart to race too fast and affect my breathing. No wonder I never wanted to be an astronaut!

As I thought about this I was reminded that Jesus made the decision to do what no one else would’ve chosen to do, to march to the cross and die for each of us. He knew what it would entail and yet he depended on his father in order to fulfill his calling. The night he was arrested Jesus was in anguish and you can see the depth of the stress of what he would endure in this passage from Luke 21:

³⁹Jesus went out as usual to the Mount of Olives, and his disciples followed him.⁴⁰On reaching the place, he said to them, “Pray that you will not fall into temptation.” ⁴¹He withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, ⁴²“Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” ⁴³An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him.⁴⁴And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.^[a]

While Jesus loves us, he knew the journey he was going to have to go down and being fully human he knew it would hurt, he knew he would be separated from the Father and knew the cost of choosing to walk that road. As I read this and know the journey that is in front of me I can learn a lot by following Jesus’ example:

I must be completely reliant and focused on prayer
I must never look and focus on my own desire – I must be submitted to and committed to what the Lord desire to do in and through me
I must be honest with the Lord on my struggles and be vulnerable so he can fill me and lead me
The Lord will send me who/what I need so that I can walk this journey and remain faithful
Jesus’ physical body showed signs of the stress of what was going on inside of him and what would take place – I myself must expect moments of difficulty – mentally and physically going forward

These are ways you can pray for me as I begin this journey. My hearts desire is to follow Jesus’ example and to be faithful no matter what is going on, that the Lord gets the glory through every circumstance, no matter how unpleasant it may be for me.

Here’s where I am so thankful and really have found myself just weeping over so many times. While Jesus struggled, he had asked his disciples to pray and to stay alert for him. Of course they didn’t understand the magnitude of what was about to happen, but Jesus spend these moments of anguish alone.

⁴⁵When he rose from prayer and went back to the disciples, he found them asleep, exhausted from sorrow. ⁴⁶“Why are you sleeping?” he asked them. “Get up and pray so that you will not fall into temptation.”

A couple of things stick out to me here:

1. Jesus endured this anguish alone

2. He gave them direction going forward because he knew that they were about to endure something they were not prepared for in their own flesh

3. He knew they would endure temptations and these circumstances would change their faith in a positive, deeper way or would it pull them away from what Jesus was leading them to …. he wanted them to grow and not fall

I pray so hard that I will not fall into temptation to doubt and that through this process my faith will grow deeper and I will see the face of Jesus like I never have before. I am so thankful….so thankful…. so thankful for the messages, Bible passages and everything else from everyone. Unlike Jesus, I have been surrounded by people who are not asleep. They are warriors battling for me and keeping me focused and going. I could not be faithful or fight without you. I need you and I am so thankful for your faithfulness and support. We are going to have an amazing story to tell through this!

Here’s a picture of my mask

Walk in it

“Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, “This is the way, walk in it.” Isaiah 30:21

So I’ve had a few days to begin to see doctors and to begin to live this life battling cancer and it’s affects. My life has been one of ease really. No doctor appointments and no struggles. A few years ago I started swelling up from ibuprofen and so I had to quit taking that. I’ve never struggled with my health and I have honestly probably taken it for granted. Who has time to deal with health issues anyway? It’s amazing how much can change in just a couple weeks.

One of the blessings of this cancer right now is the steroid they have given me. So, I’ve always been a pretty busy person getting stuff done and moving…now that’s been kicked up a bit. I’m constantly looking for things to do and keeping busy, doing something. I’m hoping before they take me off of it I’ve gone through every corner of my house! I need to! So much to do and I guess the blessing right now is that I have the time to get some stuff done.

One of the things I’ve never liked doing is going to the doctor. Never had a reason to go really and I’ve been very thankful that it hasn’t been needed. The last couple days my days have been focused on doctor appointments and beginning the process of setting up my treatment. It’s hard to sit and listen to the doctor talk to you about how you have cancer and what will need to happen to help you fight this thing. It doesn’t matter that they are pulling staples out of your head and you are obviously the one they are talking about, when in reality you don’t feel like it could be you. I look at the other people in the waiting room and my heart breaks for them because they are sick…and then you remember that you are technically sick too. Honestly, I just want to get the blood drawn get done and get to living – coaching again. Who has time for this?

Here’s the deal. I firmly believe this. The Lord has brought me to this point for a reason. The more I have poured over scripture, he keeps speaking to me and asking me to trust him. No matter what the doctors tell me or the treatment plan or whatever, the Lord is saying, “do you trust me?” I always thought I did. But my faith hasn’t been tested or put out there like it is now. He is asking me to follow him and to walk in the way he is leading me. Does that mean it’s all been easy? No. Does that mean I would want to go back to my life I was living 2 weeks ago, yes. But, he knows me better than I know myself and He has designed an opportunity for me to know him in a greater way and to really determine if my faith is genuine.

My faith is tested when I hear the doctors talking about my treatment. My faith is tested when the scans really do show what people tell me they show. My faith is tested when my head is sore from the incision. My faith is tested when I look at my family and I have to think, will I see them here in 10 years. But, the Lord has given me his peace. He desires for me to keep my eyes fixed on him and his Truth and to live each day to love others and point them to the cross. I can’t explain how he has done this in my life, but he has. I choose Jesus above all else and trust that He will lead me where he desires to use me. Today I choose to walk where he calls me and to rely completely on him for every moment of every day.

Please continue to pray for me to have opportunities to encourage and share my story with others. I would like this cancer to not only change me, but to change anyone who will take the time to allow Jesus to speak to them through me.

It’s Sunday – Pressing forward

Sunday is always such a relief for me. It’s the beginning of the week, but it is there to help me focus my week on what’s important and to really spend time with my creator. Today was tough. He knows that. I wanted to just crawl in his lap and allow him to comfort me and hold me. He allowed me that opportunity but, then spoke his sweetness into my soul. To comfort and encourage me to press on EVEN in what I’m facing now. He isn’t surprised by my circumstances, he has allowed them and desires to teach me and guide me through them.

Even though all of this is pretty new, I can already see him working in my life. He has reminded me of the journey he has already taken me on and how he has showed up and worked to grow me closer to him and to show me where I needed to allow him to mold me and use me.

I’m not going to pretend to know why or how this is all going to go. Because I don’t know. But, I know the one who does know. That brings me comfort and focus for the unknown that is coming a head for me. I know God loves me. I know He desires to grow me. I know he is going to use my life and experiences to bring others to himself. And I am humbled by all of that.

I have been recently thinking about an experience I had as teenager and don’t know why the Lord has brought it to my mind, but I know things don’t just happen. When I was 16, I was helping coach a soccer team. I was on my way to a tourney with a teammate/co-coach when we were hit and involved in a serious car wreck. The Lord graciously moved the car to keep her and myself from the brunt of the hit, but one of my little player’s dad was driving the car and he was hit. It ended up being one of those scenes in the movies with the jaws of life and helicopters. It was a moment for me that changed my life. I was a happy teenager with things going great and here I was covered in glass and blood in a car waiting to be rescued. As a teenager obviously my looks meant a lot to me and it was hard for me to be cut up and wondering how things were going to be years down the road. I worried about my collegiate career and finding a guy who would love my scarred faced.

As I look back at what the Lord did through that situation, I can see the Lord working all through it. But, I failed. Sometime after I went through the situation, one of my friends was also in a car wreck, slashed her face up and went through some of the same things I had gone through. I wasn’t mature enough at the time to understand the opportunity the Lord had given me to minister to someone else. To take the focus off of myself and to use my battle to encourage someone else. This has stuck with me and I have gone back to it many times. I vowed I would never waste a moment that the Lord gave me and I would trust that my difficulties had purpose and He would use them for my good, his glory and for others.

I don’t know where this journey is taking me in the end. But, I know the one who walks beside me. He hasn’t changed or become less than what he was a week ago. He has called me to come deep and to trust him and through my life I’ve learned he’s the only one I can truly trust no matter what I see.

I sat in church today and I wept. I wept because I know that the Lord of the universe has decided to use my life for something greater than I expected. I wept because he has a plan and someday I’ll know the why. I wept because I am surrounded by such amazing family and friends who love me and sacrifice so much to serve me. Cancer stinks and it’s not God’s design. But, he can use the worst of things to do the best of things. I raise my hand to say, “Lord here I am and if going through this brings me closer to you and if going through this draws others to you, then I surrender and together we are going to move mountains!” It’s Sunday and God is on his throne, working in my life and I don’t know why he chose me at this moment for this situation, but someday I will know and I will be thankful for what the Lord has done.

“There is one thing I always do. Forgetting the past and straining toward what is ahead, I keep trying to reach the goal and get the prize for which God called me.” Philippians 3:13-14

Prayer Requests:

My strength and heart to be focused on the Lord NO MATTER WHAT
Right questions and direction when we meet with doctors
To minister to my kids, the teens on my teams and other teens who struggle with the why in all of this
For Scott and I to just grow closer and closer together through this

The Journey Begins The Lord is my light and my salvation – there is no need to fear.

“The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him” Psalm 28:7

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I’ve written a few things here and some how the words have disappeared. So I’m going to keep this short so I know whether this is working. I’ve decided to start a blog to just keep me focused on what I need to focus on during this time and to share with others my heart. If no one else reads this, it’s ok. Lord, use my experience to make me more like you and to encourage others to seek you and serve you every day we are blessed to live here. I’ve been given the cancer diagnosis and I am going to be in a battle for as long as the Lord desires. I trust in a Savior that changes people and he has done things to make me weep. He knows I need him more than ever and I am going to fall deeper and deeper in love with him in each moment and during this battle.

I plan to use this to encourage others and to share my heart. Hopefully I figured out how to publish this, so if this works I’ll write more tomorrow.

The Journey Begins

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

He Has Done Great Things

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He who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is his name. Luke 1:49

Do you believe God has done great things for YOU?

What if this Christmas Season we were to take every opportunity the Lord gives us to share our personal testimony with someone else about all the “great things” He has done for us? For most of us this is a little out of our comfort zone or perhaps it may seem daunting. Or perhaps truth be told, we feel the not so great things out number the “great things” God may be doing in our lives.

Pain, heartache, hardship, and suffering are real even for believers. They are part of our fallen world. However, our redemption is in the cross and empty tomb. If you are a Child of God, not mater what is going on in in your life, you can lift your eyes upward from your circumstances. God is still the same yesterday as today. He is sovereign over every moment of your life. He is always giving you a reason for rejoicing, although it may be challenging—even with eyes filled with tears. He is good—and doing great things for you and in you.

When Mary found out she was with child, she had so many reasons for concerns. She did not know how her others would perceive the news. I am sure she was worried and felt some uncertainty–but despite how she felt, she felt her creator was worthy of praise! She did not know how she would tell Joseph. What would he think? What would others think of her? How did God expect her do all this? Perhaps all these concerns she brought to Elizabeth when she stayed with her. We do not know, but what we do know—is Mary exhausted her Father with praise and worthiness. She worshiped Him in her own song. She not only felt gratitude in her own heart, but she expressed it verbally to others.

And Mary said, “My soul magnifies he Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has looked on the humble estate of his servant. For behold, from now on all generations will call me blessed; for he who is mighty has done great things for me, and hold is his name. And his mercy is for those who fear him from generation to generation….” Luke 1:46-56

She was overwhelmed, shaken, and filled with gratitude that her Holy God noticed her. She would play a part in the redemption of God’s plan—she worshipped her Creator with admiration and praise. Mary did not let her fear overwhelm her but was grateful to be used by God for His purpose and design, even if it included hardship. The Lord does great things even in difficult seasons! She willingly shared her testimony. How can you share your testimony this Christmas?

The True Light

Jesus Is The True Light

“Keep Christ in CHRISTmas”, is often voiced to others around the Holiday season. During Christmas, it is often hard to slow down. Delightful parties, satisfying food, enchanting decorations, and illuminating lights fill the atmosphere all around us. Often it is hard to truly slow down, to reflect the gift of Heavenly Hope given to us not long ago. The Savior, who is the light of the world, unable to be hidden but revealed to us and live among us. If we imagined that first night, it was not noisy like the world around us, but peaceful and noiseless. The anticipation of a Messiah had arrived! Awaiting to be celebrated immensely and worshiped with reverent attention.

Perhaps it is not the decorations or superficial items that divert us from our worship but grief, disease, hardships, or the burdens we carry. Those items are real. In a moment a telephone call can change our lives. However, the light that was shone for you and I remains the same. God is still the light of the world and living among us. He is still here and in every circumstance. The light that illuminates this Christmas is drawing us toward Him, waiting for us to be diverted from the world. How are you responding to the Hope, He has given you?

A few years ago my sister passed away at Christmas time. I’ll never forget the video of her sent to me by her sweet friend. Nicole was worshiping Christ in her wheelchair. Her eyesight was shattered, but she could still hear the sound of sweet songs. She tapped her fingers, raised her hands, and praised Jesus. The light of life was within her as a heavenly road laid ahead. I often think, “Do I worship the King in the same way? With reverence and admiration, no matter what obstacles I face?” In all reality, God gives us every opportunity to focus on His light, no matter the distractions. It is in those heavy distractions that He wants us near to Him. How can you take away the disruptiveness around you and begin to focus on the quiet night, where God came providing the true light to the world to save YOU?

John 8:12, “When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life.”

May His light be shown through you this season as you take pleasure in the stillness of His voice. If there is a way for me to pray for you this Christmas, I would love to. Please send me a message, I’d love to be your prayer warrior.

Experiencing Peace This Christmas

In August 2020 I made a surprise visit to go see my sister. Little did I know that visit would be the last time we would have a meaningful and engaged conversation, before she drastically declined from brain cancer. During my visit we talked about death, heaven, cancer, treatment options, and her family. Our conversation was more focused on other people than herself because she was always selfless. Nicole always radiated Joy everywhere she went. People always gravitated toward her—she smiled, laughed, and carried herself with grace. No matter how she suffered physically or mentally, she did not complain. She used her situation as God telling her to draw close to Him. In fact, during the hardest moments she carried this superior peace amid her uncertainty on earth.

John 14: 27 says, “Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Don’t let your heart be troubled or fearful.”

We don’t have to look far in our world to find discord and conflict. It is everywhere filled with chaos, fear, and anxiety. It is hard to imagine a world possible full of peace, that Jesus promises. The disciples had a hard time believing this peace Jesus was providing, when he said he was returning to His Father. They thought he came to provide peace from their enemies and set a kingdom He would rule, and perhaps they would have some authority. But Jesus was never referring to the peace, the disciples understood. Jesus was specifying to an internal peace, living inside us for all those that choose to follow Him daily.

God provides a peace that is unconditional and everlasting through those who believe in Him. Our Lord provides a wonderful Counselor, Comforter, and Advocate —The Holy Sprit that can guide us through our storms, no matter what we encounter. This peace Christ provides is offered daily as we experience the Holy Spirit working in us. It doesn’t mean we won’t experience challenges, but we can have peace because God is not only with us but within us! The good news is God provides the reality that peace will be restored with His creation, one day. Isn’t this what we long for? How can you discover peace this Christmas? Can you find time away from the worldly busyness and experience the presence of the Holy Spirit?

Philippians 4:7 “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

My prayer for you friend, is that no matter what obstacles you face this Christmas you can obtain peace in the ONE who desires you to discover His presence in you.

Update on Nicole’s Kids:

Garrett: Talking to Garrett is always a treat. He very knowledgeable about God, worldview, and just a kind young man. My kids just love seeing him! He is living in an apartment now and currently working at his church.

Abbey: This lovely lady is planning her wedding and will be walking down the aisle next month to Spencer! We are so excited to see them say their vows and continue in the direction God has for them. They are such a cute couple and I am excited to see what God has in store for them in the future. Spencer has been working with Fellowship of Christian Athletes. He is currently going into schools, loving his job, and doing awesome at it! Abbey had a great year in soccer. The team went to the NCAA Tournament! She has one more year left! Yikes!

Ashton: This sweet girl did a great job in soccer this year! However, early in the season she tore her ACL. She is recovering doing rehab and looking forward to a great season next year! She is currently dating a lovely young man, Eli. (I’m waiting to meet him and have them visit us!!!)

Nathan: This little guy is not no little anymore! My buddy turned 14 this year! Where did the time go? He was our ring bear in our wedding, walking down the aisle with no shoes! (He did not want to wear shoes) HA! Now this kid is excelling in piano and in theatre. I can’t wait to see him perform soon!

Nicole would be so proud of these kids. May they continue to Love the Lord in all they do and glorify Him. They are great examples for the next generation!

Being Used By God in Our Storms

Storms always frightened me when I was little. My family had a small cabin up in northern Minnesota and the storms there terrified me. The cabin did not have a basement, but a small crawl space that was accessible from outside, to be used during storms. Let me tell you, as a kid my siblings and I were deathly afraid of what was in there. There could be all sorts of little critters running around, but you couldn’t see them! I remember the anticipation and nervousness to get to the shelter and waiting the storm out–it felt long. I don’t know about you, but I still do not like storms. BUT just like the storms that bring rain, which water the earth AND are exactly what the earth needs; The storms that we go through, are so good for us too AND often what we need too. God strengthens our faith during storms when we allow Him to—FAITH is WHAT you believe. Believing HIS promises and trusting Him when there is uncertainty.

I love reading about Paul’s ministry. No matter what he was going through, he had faith in the Lord. The Holy Spirit filled in so much that he exulted boldness in every situation. He had confidence in sharing the gospel when people were against him, hated him, and even wanted to kill him. He also had certainty in God’s plan when he was in prison and did not waste his time there. He continued to share the good news. He had boldness in each storm, that God was eventually going to get him to Rome on His time. In fact, God had Paul right where He needed him to be—in a one weatherly storm on ship with fellow prisoners, where people heard him speak boldly about God.

In Acts 27 Paul was finally setting sail to Rome. There was a huge storm at sea with 276 passengers aboard the ship. I don’t need to tell you ships did not have the technology like today or were built like today. The ship caught a hold of a “northeaster” wind, which was a deadly wind, and the passengers were all scared that this ship was going to go to sink in the sandbar. I bet there was so much commotion on the ship among the people, all fearing for their lives. However, Paul extolled confidence that God would get each of them to land safely.

Acts 27: 22-26 says²¹After they had gone a long time without food, Paul stood up before them and said: “Men, you should have taken my advice not to sail from Crete; then you would have spared yourselves this damage and loss. ²²But now I urge you to keep up your courage, because not one of you will be lost; only the ship will be destroyed. ²³Last night an angel of the God to whom I belong and whom I serve stood beside me ²⁴and said, ‘Do not be afraid, Paul. You must stand trial before Caesar; and God has graciously given you the lives of all who sail with you.’ ²⁵So keep up your courage, men, for I have faith in God that it will happen just as he told me. ²⁶Nevertheless, we must run around on some island.”

There is so much we can learn in this passage from Paul. God calls each of us to trust Him in the stormiest seasons of life, while encouraging others to do the same. Paul’s attitude wasn’t arrogance but boldness to trust God more than logic or emotions. Luke doesn’t say every emotion Paul felt, but I am sure he had some doubt and fear on the ship. However, Paul let the Holy Spirit direct his emotions to trust God, while encouraging others. We know Paul listened to God. Our Maker sent an angel to encourage Paul in a dangerous storm, that empowered Paul with HOLY boldness to speak words of encouragement whether they were welcome or not. The people on the ship were for him (almost a gift)—God wanted Paul to use this opportunity to show everyone who was in control of the ship and their lives. That no matter what “storm” they may face, He will be in charge—and to take hold and have faith in God. Do you think when Paul took his eyes off the physical storm around him and focused on encouraging the passengers to have faith in God, his own emotions of the storm lightened? I do. When we are in the most difficult things, focusing more on others and less on ourselves increases our faith, while our relationship with Christ grows. That’s the thing, no matter what we face or what obstacle that seems like it will never end, God has us there for a reason. Nicole enjoyed praying for others, while she suffered through radiation. Each day she put the mask on, she chose to focus on others verse herself. She spent time praying for each person that had things going on, verse praying for herself. Truly, she did not like the mask and dreaded it each time, but she was there and chose to use that opportunity to pray for others. I think much like Paul chose to encourage others, while he might have been freighted on the boat; He felt more confidence in our Creator because he focused on what others needed resulting on growing his relationship with Christ. I am sure Paul felt closer to God too as he chose to be used by God during a difficult time for others. I know sometimes we do not like our circumstances and sometimes they can make us paralyzed, but what if we stopped asking “Why me?” Instead asking —Lord, “Use me”–help me boldly trust you and your direction to encourage others around me even if I am in this storm.

“Not only that, but we rejoice in our suffering, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” Romans 5: 3-5

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. ” 1 Thessalonians 5:11

A little update on Nicole’s kids:

Garrett: He just graduated! Can you believe it?!! He came to visit my family this past May. He lives in an apartment, works a his church, and trusting God for his next direction. We had a great time exploring our farm together. (HE is single!!) No really. I give him a hard time about finding a girlfriend. He is a great kid that loves the lord and I love talking with him. HE is so knowledgeable about worldview and a hard working kid. He is such a sweet young man!

Abbey and Ashton: They just finished their sophomore year of college. They continue to play soccer and are both working at a preschool church program this summer. They both love kids! Abbey recently became engaged to a wonderful young man, Spencer. Abbey and Spencer came to visit me during their spring break. It was a joy for me to meet Spencer. Nicole would be so thrilled to have Spencer a part of her family. He loves the lord and is passionate about sharing the gospel to college students. I am looking forward to watching Abbey and Spencer serve the Lord together! Ashton is doing well and has the same boyfriend. I am looking forward to them visiting soon!

Nathan: My little buddy is growing up!! He continues to love piano and cook. He was able to come on his spring break too with Abbey and Spencer. We made macaroons together and did many art projects (which he loves). One of my favorite parts of our visit was celebrating Nicole’s birthday. We went around the room and said what she taught us and memories.

How can I pray for you? Please send me a message. I would love to pray with you and for you!

Made a Cake to Celebrate Nicole's Earthly Birthday — Celebrating Nicole’s Earthly Birthday

Garrett Visiting — Celebrating Nicole’s Earthly Birthday

Our Family at the cabin, when we were young. There are two siblings to Nicole that have not been born yet.

Suffering Well

Every Christmas we take our kids up to our cabin in Minnesota to enjoy God’s lovely creation of snow and spend time with family! The snow is beautiful. The kids enjoy playing for hours in the snow, going ice skating, and doing “snow experiments”. Last Christmas when we were up in Minnesota, we encountered days of -30 below. It was cold! The kids looked outside and desperately wanted to go out, but it was just way too cold. We couldn’t go anywhere either for the fear of being stranded and that would be a bad situation. So, I put on my “mom” cap and began planning things to do inside with 8 little kids! We did not anticipate days of -30 when we planned our trip!

God gives us seasons we don’t expect or anticipate too. They hit us sometimes when we didn’t see it coming. I truly believe God shows us so much when we suffer, and He uses it for something good. Our suffering usually isn’t self-inflicted, but rather just a result of our sinful world and it not being perfect. Our Creator gives us opportunities to get off the couch and do something, but only when we spend time listening. It’s like He’s waving His hands, trying to get our attention. He’s saying, “Hey, you… are you listening to me? Stop talking and just listen! Be quiet!”

Three years ago, was one of the most shaping experiences. God started refining me in ways, I never imagined. But HE needed to— I was pregnant with my twins and was so excited to have twin girls, just like my sister. Randy and I took a mini vacation and as I sat on the beach, we received a phone call saying my sister had brain cancer. My heart hurt for her, but I knew she would draw close to our Creator. She didn’t complain about her condition. She knew He was using her suffering for something good. She put on the armor of God and was ready. We anticipated God would heal her. She had faith that God would heal her, and it was going to be a journey, where she would draw close to our Father. As years and procedures passed, we realized God was going to heal her in heaven.

The year before her death was hard to watch as her body was slowly shutting down. I felt terrible for her. My heart hurt for her. I would pray for her all day and was up many nights, praying. “Lord, take her home. Please stop her physical suffering.” I knew she would be healed, and she would meet our father face to face. Through her illness and what God was showing her, she thrived. She used her illness to draw people closer to our father. Many people’s relationship with our Lord grew as a result of watching her share, Jesus. It was in her suffering she gloried God and she did it well. Her kids saw how strong she was in the Lord and let me tell you, seeing her suffer well grew their faith.

This “season” in my life, it hurt. I drew close to God for comfort and relied on Him, as His plans have always been far better than my own. Still today, I don’t want to forget what He showed me, and I intend not too. In my hurt for my sister, God sent a clear picture to me. IT IS NOT ABOUT ME! Life is not about me, about my stuff, about what I want. It’s about our father. It’s about leading people into His kingdom and to stand up for Him when our world is full of darkness and chaos. It is about raising warriors to fight for Him and for them to pass the same on to the next generation.

As I sat there one night writing for my sister, God told me to get off the couch. Stop being lazy. There is no excuse. Give Me the wheel. He had better things planned and use my suffering for something good. I don’t know what He has planned for me, or for my family. But I will tell you this, I want to be listening and I do not to miss out on the opportunities He shows me. He’s in charge and i don’t want to be! How we listen to God in our suffering, impacts how we respond to our suffering.

I am not sure what you may be going through right now. Perhaps it’s a disagreement with a spouse, divorce, finances, a loss of a loved one, or an illness. We all suffer in different ways and our suffering cannot be compared to another person’s suffering. BUT how we respond during our hard times is when God can change us and use our suffering in ways we never imagined. Perhaps you don’t know how God can use you. Start praying, my friend. Start praying. Surrender to God in it all and tell Him you are willing to be His servant in any way.

I sat there one night and said, “Lord, send me. Send us. Use my family and show us how we can serve you. Every blessing you have given Randy and I, has come from you. Use what you have given to grow your kingdom. “I don’t want to forget when times were hard, I want to cling to what God showed me and told me. I want Him to continue to write my story and Him be gloried in the process. In the story of Hezekiah, it’s unfortunate He forgot.

Hezekiah was miraculously healed by God. He pleaded with God to heal him. God heard his cry and healed him, and our Lord told him He would add 15 years to his life

He was a king that loved the Lord. But he forgot what God had done for him and let his pride get in the way

Isaiah 39 says, “Soon after this, Merodach-baladan son of Baladan, king of Babylon, sent Hezekiah his best wishes and a gift. He had heard that Hezekiah had been very sick and that he had recovered. Hezekiah was delighted with the Babylonian envoys and showed them everything in his treasure-houses—the silver, the gold, the spices, and the aromatic oils. He also took them to see his armory and showed them everything in his royal treasuries! There was nothing in his palace or kingdom that Hezekiah did not show them

Then Isaiah the prophet went to King Hezekiah and asked him, “What did those men want? Where were they from

Hezekiah replied, “They came from the distant land of Babylon

“What did they see in your palace?” asked Isaiah

“They saw everything,” Hezekiah replied. “I showed them everything I own— even my royal treasuries

Then Isaiah said to Hezekiah, “Listen to this message from the Lord of Heaven’s Armies: ‘The time is coming when everything in your palace—all the treasures stored up by your ancestors until now—will be carried off to Babylon. Nothing will be left,’ says the Lord. ‘Some of your very own sons will be taken away into exile. They will become eunuchs who will serve in the palace of Babylon’s king.’

Then Hezekiah said to Isaiah, “This message you have given me from the Lord is good.” For the king was thinking, “At least there will be peace and security during my lifetime

There is so much to learn from this part of Hezekiah’s story. He could have shared how God healed Him, but instead he chose to show the king of Babylon his treasures. Now, his “stuff” wasn’t his anyway!!!! God gave it all to him.

My heart hurts for the last part, Hezekiah did not care about the future generations, but just about the moment. He didn’t focus on the Lord and the future impact of his decisions. He was living in the moment with pride, overconfidence, and forgetting God’s sovereign plan. The Lord God had healed him, but when the urgent crisis ended, he seemed to get caught up in possessions. God wants us to be His servant in all we do and with whatever He gives us. Nothing on earth is ours, it’s His. Are there idols or things in your heart, that need to be changed? Do you care about the next generation or are too consumed with yourself? Hezekiah didn’t grieve for his offspring or seem too concerned about his legacy but instead reveled in his own comfort. How are you letting God write your story? Are you in control or are you letting God drive the wheel?

We recently had Nicole’s kids up at our cabin. It was a joy. A pure blessing. My sister would have loved it here and I couldn’t wait to show her all of God’s wonderful creation that is seen up there. Her kids are so sweet and have a very special place in my heart. We had so much fun going on the lake, fishing, doing crafts and talking. I loved sharing stories of their mom and reminding them what her mission was while on earth. It never was about stuff or about her, it was about sharing Jesus with everyone and making an impact on the next generation. Their mother did an amazing job being an example of serving our Lord and bringing people to Jesus. May her kids continue pursuing His kingdom and not the world.

All 4 kids came to our cabin and also saw their uncles, Aunts, and grandparents too. I loved spending time with each of them. Garrett is growing to be a warrior for Jesus. We need more kids like him in the next generation. He is passionate about Jesus, and he is very knowledgeable in worldview and what is going on in the world. I am waiting for his Podcast to come out soon! We definitely will be sharing that with you all! He is making an impact on his generation! His mother would be smiling at the fine young man he is becoming.

Abbey and Ashton are starting their sophomore year of college. YES, I said that right! Can you believe it??!! They are doing quite well and enjoying soccer. I can’t wait to watch them this year! They are in a social club and have made some great friends. They too have a great passion for Jesus. I love watching them grow. They both remind me so much of Nicole.

Nathan is my little buddy. It was a joy to have him up at the cabin and to see him interact with his cousins. He is such a special boy. He is learning and following his older siblings. He is growing up so fast! He starts middle school this year

I apologize for not writing on this blog for a while. My family has been busy with our farm, and we have been diligently praying about how God can use us in different ways. Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/hopefarmsec or sign up for our newsletter. Find out about what we have been up to. I do have a blog for our farm if you would like to follow us. Please visit our site! Hope Farms and Education Center or sign up for our newsletter at hopefarmsec.com. If you have a prayer request, please let me know.

Garrett: Please pray for him as he finishes his last year in college. He has been busy working and getting his Pod Cast going.

Abbey and Ashton: Pray for a great year for them as they start the soccer year and the next year of school. They have had such a great summer. Both of the girls have been babysitting, working at a camp, and going on a great vacation with Scott to Aruba.

Nathan: Please pray for Nathan as he transitions to a new school. Pray for the right friends. He has been doing very well and I loved seeing his sweet smile and hearing his laughter this summer.