Hope Warrior

So 7 treatments down today.  Yeah!  I have been dealing with the chalky taste in my mouth and have been sucking on lemon drops – which are just so good – Thanks Wendy Cavaneau!  Yesterday I decided I was going to suck and chew on one really quickly before going into treatment and so I’m quickly biting it so I can lay on the table and get under the mask.  Well apparently I left a tiny part in my mouth… didn’t know it and so I was having to swallow more during the treatment than I probably wanted to.  So today I wised up and just said “chalky taste you got your 40 seconds with me today…not going to battle with a lemon drop.”

Treatment went well the last two days.  I have taken the last spot before lunch so I do my best to get in lay down and get out so everyone gets their full lunch break – ha!  Seriously great people in there.  They turn my music up as loud as I want and do what they do with the lazers. Also got blood drawn afterwards.

There is a sweet soul that usually in there right before me or after depending on when he gets there.  His name is Gene and he is such a sweet joy to see every day.  His wife Gloria is such a sweet light as well.  He is nearing the end of his radiation treatment so we won’t be passing each other in the halls everyday like we do now in a couple weeks.  I am thankful for their sweet smiles and their love for Jesus.  Pray that the clean scans they are seeing for him remain that way going forward – Praise the Lord and pray his nauseausness doesn’t bother him.  There are so many wonderful people you get to meet and hear their stories and then pray for.  Sorry the one is sideways…. 🙂

Yesterday was super busy for us.  It was my Mother In Law’s birthday.  Ann has lived at our house almost everyday since my surgery.  She has been such a blessing to us, driving us around and helping aroud the house.  And as life goes… she spent her 70th bday with us being….busy.   We were able to watch the HOGS baseball team and eat cake.  We are very thankful for her willingness to be here for us during this journey.

Kids had plans and had the opportuntity to get together with their mission team and the other two teams Wednesday and share about their experiences at the different locations.  The kids had such a great time on their trip and I am thankful for every memory and moment that they will cherish forever.  Thankful to the adults who invested in them.

I got a special visit yesterday from a special friend of mine Sarah and her daughter Mollie.  Love sharing time with her and just sharing our experiences, hope and joy in the Lord.  Don’t get to see her too often anymore since she moved but, that is the beautiful thing about friendships that have their foundation in the Lord.  It’s like you never left each other and you just dig deeper together.

“But joyful are those who have the God of Israel as their helper, whose hope is in the Lord their God.”

Psalm 146:5

So, so thankful that the God of the universe sees me and knows what I need each and everyday.  He sends me his peace, comfort and messages that remind me “I see you, I love you, I’ve got this and I’m using it.  Trust me completely.”  The Lord really spoke to me this morning as I was coloring my little picture to hang-up by my mirror.  I apologize if you already saw it … but as I was reading through 2 Kings and Acts the Truth in this very familiar passage just really hit me:

How much do I really trust the Lord in my situations and circumstances.  If I don’t go ALL in then I’m really telling the Lord that I don’t think He can or will do what needs to be done.  So how do we really learn to trust like that?  We DECIDE to depend and then we bring our honest hearts to the Lord and ask Him to build this kind of faith in our lives.  Then when we have moments to act – which will come – we get honest with the Lord and say, “I’m stepping forward and I’m trusting you.  I know that you got this and me.”  And I’ve seen Him do it too many times in my life…And now I’ve seen him ramp it up to a level that I am just like Elisha and Paul watching the unbelievable.

I shared a bit about Elisha’s life and today I was a bit sad… he died.  But, before his death he minisered to King Jehoash of Israel and challenged him to get some bows and arrows and put his hands on the King’s hands and assisted and challenged him to shoot an arrow through the window.  He said in 2 Kings 13:17 “This is the Lord’s arrow, an arrow of victory over Aram, for you will completely conquer the Arameans at Aphek.” Elisha was sick…. he probably knew his life was coming to a close, yet he took the time to minister to and encourage a king, because he knew a nation was at stake.  He had complete trust in the Lord no matter what it meant for him.  Wow…. to live for others ready to pour yourself out completely.  Now that’s faith lived out in complete trust.

So really quickly here.  I read something i don’t ever remember reading before in reading 2 Kings 13:21.  There was a group of Israelites who were burying a man and they spied some raiders and instead of burying the man they through his body into the grave to chase after these guys.

2 Kings 13:21 ” But as soon as the body touched Elisha’s bones, the dead man revided and jumped to his feet.”  Ok people that’s pretty cool… I love this picture. Elisha was so full of God while living that the Lord allowed his body to miraculously revive a dead person.  Can’t explain it … but it is this kind of stuff that we should be expecting and asking God to see!

As I read Acts 19:11-12 today again, just blown away again in the same day…

“God gave Paul the power to perform unusual miracles.  When handkerchiefs or aprons that had merely touched his skin were place on sick people, they were healed of their diseases and evil spirits were expelled.”

God allowed and used Paul to perform miracles we can’t even imagine.

God did big things through Elisha and Paul… but, do we even expect Him to use us at all? Do we wander through life just hoping to feel good every once in a while and we miss the wonder and power that God has given us that we are not trusting him and asking him to use in us?  Most of us have chosen a happy faith and we don’t even consider the fact that we are called to be warriors and we have been given the arrows to be victorious in every situation.  I am bolder in my prayers these days.  Bolder in my expectations.  Bolder in my praise. Bolder in my ALL IN TRUST.   And I wouldn’t trade a moment of this battle and journey, because I have seen “bones come to life and handkerchiefs and aprons heal…”  Join me and BE BOLD and watch your Life be transformed.

I was blessed to get some sweet flowers from my sweet sister in the Lord Jennifer Offutt. She has been so encouraging to me and just lovely.  As I took pictures of the flowers she sent from one day to the next… I watched those tulips open up.  And I thought what a great picture of what I want my life to be.  The sun encourages these petals to open and to show their beauty and show who they were made to be.  It is the Son that opens us to the opportunity to display our beauty and purpose to others and they experience great joy because of what He does in our lives – lean in and TRUST.

I forgot to include in my last blog how you can continue to pray…and I need the prayers:

• Continue to pray that the 11:30 treatments are right where they need to be and the 7 shots are effective 
• Pray that my energy stays good… I feel blessed to feel pretty good.  
• The chalky taste and I have just decided to exist together unless the Lord has plans to take it away.  So just pray that I will continue to use that time to thank the Lord
• I want to really make sure my body is flushing out all of these toxins so just pray that the Lord does this 
• My sister and her family will be here this weekend, so praying that we have a blessed time no issues (she’s pregnant with twin girls -eek!)
• Prayers as we finalize the tshirts I designed and bracelets – so excited!  Continue to pray that if I can encourage anyone at anytime that my eyes are open and I lean in and trust.

Blessings, prayers and HOPE to my WARRIOR Friends!

“Then I pray to you, O Lord.  I say, “You are my place of refuge.  You are all I really want in life.”  Psalms 142:5

This sweet vase of flowers and note come from one of my biggest warriors.  Lauren Grace Perry has battled with me and for me on and off the field, and I just love her.  Her dad is a great flower gardener…didn’t know this.  But, her mom and LG brought me this sweet vase with dinner last night.  Blessed.  Blessed.

Ya’ll…. I cannot believe all that has gone on the last couple of days!  Every day I am blown away!  So I have completed 5 days of treatment… and I thankful because I am relaxed and just spending my time under that mask in prayer.  Listen, I am blessed and thankful to pray over every request that I have written down while the Lord does what he does for me.  It has been such a peaceful time for me…. well it was peaceful for about 16 minutes today.  Had a bit of a stressful moment, I thought.

So, I have been blessed with so many Biblical Truths and reminders on these bracelets that I wear all the time.  So obviously they have told me to make sure I take every metal piece off before treatment.  So it’s become just a habit as I get called back and have 5 minutes before I begin to take everything off.  I get to the back and I am about to lay on the stretcher/table thing and the lady tells me that I have my dolphin earring still in.  I’ve decided to wear my old dolphin earring as a reminder to me of all the girls I coach and what the “Dolphin” name, legacy, motto ect is about and to just really keep these girls at the center of my prayers and push through forward.  Oh good…here take the earring I forgot about that, I told the tech.

I get strapped in and begin to pray and listen to my worship music, just good.  A couple of minutes later I realized that my right hand was touching something on my left hand…my wedding band!  Now obviously that’s metal and I’m strapped under this thing – can’t say much and I know they are getting close to start zapping.  So I use my index finger and start doing a circle movement.  Course my friend told me that probably looks like, “go ahead and get this thing going, I”m ready.”  Well, no one responded to this and next thing I know the zapping starts.  I have to admit my heart probably started to race a bit and my prayers were a bit selfish at that moment.  I was thinking, “Lord is my finger going to start to burn…could it fall off?  Is my head going to get zapped wrong….”  (if you are laughing it’s ok…) . It was a little unnerving for 40 seconds.  I have learned that they come in and move me around after every zap so I was trying to pull my ring off of my of course swollen finger.  With the mask on, my articulation is about zero, but I got the tech’s attention and handed her my ring.  Praise the Lord, she told me that it was ok as long as it wasn’t around my head/neck.  Geez….. memories and learning experiences…

When we finished Nikki and I left and decided we would go to a sale and grab just a quick little something for lunch.  In and Out and that’s it.  Well an hour later we were introduced to a whole new place and enjoying aloe shot samples, smoothie samples and tea samples.  Seriously laughed so hard while we were in there and we kept asking about the ingredients and everything.  I had to ask Nikki if she was ok to drive after all of our “Aloe shots”.  Great memories and here I am 4 hours later….I’m not hungry and I feel great!  May have found a new place to grab a quick bite.  Very fun, we will be going back.

“Bring me out of prison so I can thank you.  The godly will crowd around me, for you are good to me.”

Psalm 142:7

In my time with the Lord yesterday…. yep He blew me away again.  We are naturally resistant to hard times.  We don’t like to struggle and honestly we just like to “live” life.  That’s me.  I have to admit I have been praying for some specific things lately and I have asked God to do whatever he needs to do in these situations for certain people to know him in a greater way.  Yesterday as I brushed my teeth, the thought came to me that perhaps this was my answer to prayer.  Can God use even what seems terrible, unbearable, unbelievable to draw others to himself?  I have seen Him do it and I believe He can.

I was reading about Paul and Silas in Acts 16.  Paul had done something wonderful for a young girl, he called out a demon from a girl and the town was in an uproar because they were hoping that this girl would bring them great wealth.  Paul and Silas were thrown into prison after they were stripped and beaten.  The jailer was told that they needed to ensure that they didn’t escape, so they were locked deep in the jail.

I have to admit, it would be easy at this moment, as Paul and Silas to be filled with despair and to feel hopeless.  Here they are doing something good – helping a girl – and then they are beaten and thrown in prison.  Seems unfair… But that’s not how God works!  He never wastes difficulties or struggles, HE USES them to bring glory to himself and to strengthen His people.

Acts 16:25-28

²⁵ About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them. ²⁶ Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everyone’s chains came loose. ²⁷ The jailer woke up, and when he saw the prison doors open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself because he thought the prisoners had escaped. ²⁸ But Paul shouted, “Don’t harm yourself! We are all here!”

What was the response by Paul and Silas?  Were they complaining, worrying or wondering what was next?  No they were focused on the Lord and completely committed to worship.  How different would my life be…would your life be, if in the middle of hardship and difficulty we were completely focused on worshipping?  Paul and Silas had the opportunity to draw others into their worship and witness during a difficult time.  And then Paul in the middle of the unexplained earthquake, is worried about and ministers to the jailer – the one who was in charge of his hardship.  Oh, if we could take our eyes off of ourselves to see others around us as they suffer or mistreat us and minister to them.  How different would our world look?  

He goes on to write…

²⁹ The jailer called for lights, rushed in and fell trembling before Paul and Silas.³⁰ He then brought them out and asked, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”

³¹ They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.” ³² Then they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all the others in his house. ³³ At that hour of the night the jailer took them and washed their wounds; then immediately he and all his household were baptized. ³⁴ The jailer brought them into his house and set a meal before them; he was filled with joy because he had come to believe in God—he and his whole household.

 I love this!  The jailer knew that his life had been spared and he knew that there was something going on in this place.  He was bold enough to ask the tough question and then listen to a beaten up prisoner.  Paul spoke with complete Truth and confidence and told the man what was missing in his life.  And then this jailer’s life changed.  I underlined how we know.  My favorite part is that HE WAS FILLED WITH JOY!  Listen when JESUS is real in your life and you recognize your need and dependence on Him, He fills you with complete JOY that cannot be explained.  Paul, Silas, the Jailer and his family were filled with Joy in dark and hard circumstances.  

My answer to people to how I am doing right now… I feel, filled with JOY and HOPE.  I am 100% confident that the Lord has brought me to this and will bring me through this… SO THAT others can see His Hands working and realize that He is who He says He is.  I may be in prison right now….but I am singing and praying and just in awe of what I have seen God already do.

I am happy to pray for you…. to talk to you… to minister to you if you will allow me the opportunity.  You are a BIG part of this journey for me and I am blessed… blessed to BE a HOPE WARRIOR each and every day!

This was from my quiet time this morning and I just to meditate on the attributes of God – How can we not stop and just praise him – even in our deep dungeons?!

 

“After you have suffered for a little while,

the God of all grace,

who called you to His eternal glory in Christ,

will Himself perfect, confirm,

strengthen and establish you.”

1 Peter 5:10

It’s been a very quiet and restful last few days.  I did my third treatment on Friday and had a little audience in the treatment room watching me get zapped.  I have learned to walk in there and know I have angels walking with me and Jesus and they are making sure that the tech is putting the radiation right where it needs to go and insuring that the tumors are getting knocked down with each pass.  Scott said the treatment was 17-18 minutes so not bad.  Definitely thankful it’s not longer.  Realize I can open my eyes and shut them again so at least I know that now.  It’s been a blessing to sit and meet new people each time who are coming in or going out for treatment and it’s all different.  Cancer doesn’t have a favorite spot to invade, a favorite type of person and it doesn’t look to try and work into a non busy life.  Every person in there is struggling and it’s amazing to me how different the treatment is for every person.  I imagine the years and years of study and research that goes into trying to determine how to best treat each case.

One of my favorite people…Coach Lowery, he has helped with the Bryant High School Soccer girl’s team for many years and when I took over the job last year, he graciously agreed to stick around and be my voice of wisdom and “I’ve been here before but, I’m 100% into whatever you want to do….” guy.  Love him and his dear family.  But, I’ve been thinking about how important what he does for his job is for someone like me.  He’s technically a Vet – but he works at the med center here and does research on animals for medical purposes.  I’m not smart enough to understand it all and honestly never asked too many questions (although coach now I have a ton…), I’ve thought about everything that people have done to this point to be able to know my best treatment options.  We live in amazing times.  I am thankful for people who have made it their life mission to do the research and try to figure out the difficult.  If that’s you…..THANK YOU!  Please also pray for Coach Lowery’s daughter Allison who is also undergoing cancer treatment right now.  Pray for success and complete healing for her.  She’s on my prayer list….

Friday night the Funk family came over to watch the Hog game with us.  If you don’t know the Funks…. you are missing out.  I’ve shown some pics of Nikki and talked about her a ton…but she is my life manager.  Goodness she’s a blessing.  Anyway, they came over to watch the Hog baseball game and she had a great idea to have Nathan make rings to form a chain as a countdown for my treatment.  I gave Nathan a book on the characteristics of God and just some Bible passages I’ve been focused in on and he used those to write something on each of the chains.  So now I have 28 chains hanging above my fireplace that I get to cut off for each of my radiation treatments.  I’m excited to get to focus on the verse or attribute of God for that treatment.  Thanks Nathan and Nikki!

Garrett, Abbey and Ashton got back from their mission trip to Denver last night.  It was so good to get to hug them and just hear all the Lord taught them this week.  They grew in their confidence and I could really sense a growth in depth and understanding of their own faith journey, which as parents we want.  We want our kids to choose to follow Christ, because it’s what they desire and to be all in no matter what comes their way.  I am thankful for Geyer Springs for leading and discipling my kids to battle each day and become loving warriors to the world around them.  Would not want anything else.  

So what about my Blog Title today………

I have one of those read through the Bible in a year – Bibles, and the last couple days I have been blown away in 2 Kings.   I’ve read the stories of Elisha before, but I have just been blown away by miracle after miracle that Elisha experienced over and over again.  They have all been different but provided so much for me in this journey and walk that I am going through right now.  God can do ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING.  Elisha followed after a pretty famous prophet….Elijah.  I have been blown away reading each miracle and how God provided every need for every situation, whether battle, healing, death, food, armies or whatever!   God isn’t a one miracle kind of God… He is an EVERY miracle kind of God.  Wow!

So, one of my favorite miracles I read about happened when the king of Aram was angry with Elisha and Israel because Israel knew what the king of Aram was planning to do in battle before he did it.  His officers knew that Elisha was the one giving Israel information because the Lord was speaking to him.  The king of Aram decided he would seize Elisha so he could have success battling Israel and obviously Elisha was the one helping Israel stay a step a head.  So the king of Aram sent his troops and this happened to Elisha and his servant in 2 Kings chapter 6…

¹⁵ When the servant of the man of God got up early the next morning and went outside, there were troops, horses, and chariots everywhere. “Oh, sir, what will we do now?” the young man cried to Elisha.

¹⁶ “Don’t be afraid!” Elisha told him. “For there are more on our side than on theirs!” ¹⁷ Then Elisha prayed, “O Lord, open his eyes and let him see!” The Lord opened the young man’s eyes, and when he looked up, he saw that the hillside around Elisha was filled with horses and chariots of fire.

From there the other army was blinded and led out of town and the Aramean army left the land of Israel after the experience.  Israel had the victory.

Have you ever been gripped by complete fear?  Have you ever been sure that the army/battle  you see in front of you is too big and great and there’s no way that victory is possible?  I have seen God do some amazing things in my life that I can’t explain.  But, I have to admit, I am now asking God to open my eyes and I want to see his chariots of fire that are battling for me.  Goodness when the Lord reveals his angels who are standing beside me and battling for me I am going to be in such awe I may pass out!  Trust that the Lord is surrounding you with an army to battle everything you are facing and he will provide for you no matter how things may look right now.

A sweet family came over and prayed with me in the first couple of weeks of my diagnosis.  Their sweet son was in my film class and the husband himself has battled cancer and was victorious this year as well.  Crissy McEntire was so sweet to bring me an envelope full of 200 plus Bible Verses that I could hang around my house.  So every day I’ve decided to pull one out and hang it up.  This is what God does people….. I read this passage in 2 Kings and journaled about what I saw with the chariots and the amazing things of God this morning and then I got dressed and went to pull out my “random” verse from Crissy.  Here is the card I pulled out:

Hello…..does God see me and know what I need when I need it?  I praise God for his faithfulness to me as we battle forward.  I’m pressing forward and lifting my eyes to see the chariots battling for me and for each of you!

Here are some ways you can be praying for me:

• I want my eyes to be opened to everything/person/place/situation that the Lord lays before me.  I don’t want to miss a moment of what he wants me to see.
• For my heart/mind/body to be patient with this chalky taste.  I’m just trusting the Lord to either take it away or allow me to push through it.
• Pray that I have a warrior attitude all week with treatment and that when we meet with the doctors we are focused on the right questions to ask.  
• Pray that I continue to have good energy and continue to feel good

Thanks everyone for your continued prayers, notes and hugs.  I am thankful for each of you.  Please continue to send me your prayer requests.  Battling in prayer for you is a blessing for me.