The Lord…He Is Mine

“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.”

John 15:12

Let me just say how unworthy I am for the Lord to love me like He does. He has been so so good to me. He lifts me up and I just have tears in my eyes so much. Whether it’s singing, hearing His voice or reading His word. He is my rock, comforter, the One who holds me up and the One who never leaves me. He is … my everything.

Valentine’s Day is this week. So often we spend so much time focused on this one day and we live “better” that day, YET choose to live and love less the other days. What if we lived each day dedicated and desiring to LOVE others around us….EVERY moment of EVERY day, living like Jesus did? No matter what the other person has done to us, said about us or how they decide to be to us? How would that change us and maybe even them? Your faith would be strengthened, your joy would be complete and God’s love would be lived out through your life.

It’s been a busy busy month for me. Coming back from Christmas break…it’s soccer in full gear going 100 miles an hour. But, I love it. I think about the time and energy that coaches in my past gave me in order to develop the player I became and to motivate me to keep going and making sure I improved. I am so thankful for them. They make me want to be a better coach and make me want to continue to develop the girls. I have a very strong senior class that has been such a help to me. They are always there to hold me up and to make sure I have everything I need. I am blessed by them. With all of the treatments, I confess, eeeekkkkk….. my memory isn’t as good as it used to be – but, I’m thankful because it’s getting better, I can tell. The seniors have helped me and continue to want to improve, which makes me push forward to focus on their goals. I am so thankful they want to work and come every practice working hard. I need that… and the rest of the team does too.

Our team got to watch one of our players sign a letter of intent to Ouachita Baptist University to play soccer. We are excited to see Maddie play there and it was fun to celebrate her opportunities. My assistant coach, Jessica Brown has been very helpful to me as I try to set up things everyday, and I’m thankful I’m not alone.

I have been so blessed by so many people at school. My sweet sophomore neighbor Austin, grabbed me mozzarella sticks for part of my lunch the other day. Since I can’t drive and I’m so busy heading from class to the fieldhouse, I never get to go get anything. He was so sweet and I am thankful that he asked me and even bought them. Good parents teaching him!

Went great with my soup!

The Lord has blessed me by other ministries who continue to pray for me and mail me sweet things. So many places to get involved in to make someones day and to encourage them as they battle. If you’ve ever wondered if you should get involved and if you could do anything, YES you can! You doing things brings joy to others and if will encourage you too. My friend Robyn sent me this Warrior necklace I wear everyday now. Her words were so encouraging and reminded me of the work the Lord is doing. He has been SOOOO good to me!

Every day I see a bunch of students in the hallway and some of them don’t have me, but the Lord knows who I need to see and when I need to see them. He has given me opportunities to grow with students, to teach them Truth and to share and show love to them. I have always thought I loved others…. but going through what I have gone through has grown my heart and opened my eyes to finally see others with a full heart of Christ and it has been an amazing time.

Yes I coach soccer, but the other athletes at school have allowed me the opportunity to give them game pump ups or to encourage them in the hallway, class or field house. I’m their adopted coach and sometimes adopted mom. And I love it. They bless me with smiles, hugs and they listen to what I say and usually laugh or give me a fist bump. I love interacting with students… they keep me going and keep me focused.

Today was a super exciting day! My assistant coach in club, Louis texted me and my friend this morning as we were sitting in church, to tell us he was getting baptized at church! I was super excited. The girls, Nathan and I ran over there with Addi and Nikki and got to celebrate with him and his family! Wow what a blessing. Also got to see Alonso, we coached against each other when the girls were little, he was back in town from Costa Rica. His family told me they pray for me every night. Humbled. Humbled. Lord 🙂 He has given me prayer warriors around the world.

My family has done so much to encourage and continue to move forward one day at a time. I love the times we’ve been able to have the opportunities to just love one another. The Lord has blessed us with cool nights for fires, rainy days to relax and sunshine to be outside. I am thankful for that. Nathan is busy as he has started piano and still loves playing tennis. He loves to come and hangout with the soccer girls while he waits for me. We only have 11 more practices until the soccer season begins. WOW! Time has flown by. Garrett is going to decide his college by the end of this month and I know he’s ready to get started on all he needs to do. YES my hair is growing back!

The Lord has given me His Word everyday and He speaks to me deeper and more than I have experienced before. He lifts me up and by His power and presence the devil stays away from me. The Lord gives me the energy I need, the ability to do what I’ve been called to do and the mind I need to depend on Him but, to complete what He’s called me to do. Wednesday of this week I go in for an MRI to check out how my brain is clearing up. I trust in my Savior and I know there’s nothing on earth that He doesn’t have complete control over. He has given me His peace and continues to move me forward. Everyday I have tears of joy as the Lord continues to grow me and tell me to stand and share what He is doing.

We all go through difficult times and we are called to take the road the Father has promised with His blessings. I loved reading and studying about the early church. To be reminded today that we are called to BE DEVOTED to God’s Word, studying and worshipping with others, celebrating and taking communion to remind us of who loves us and what He has done and to be faithful in prayer – to have a relationship with our Father. Everyday we wake up and before we walk out the door, let’s pray to be devoted to these things. It’s not something we do once a week, it’s a daily, hourly and sometimes more! But, it’s not a task…it’s something Acts tells us God’s people enjoyed. The deeper we devote ourselves, the more we get to enjoy and experience Him like never before. And nothing else…NOTHING else can compare.

Ashton made this for me a while back. I put it above my bathtub. The only way we are told we CAN love, is because God showed His love first. Thank you Jesus for choosing to sacrifice yourself for us, so that we might experience you like never before. To be able to talk to you and be with you. Thank you for taking me by the hand and reminding me that you will never leave me and your love IS here in me through your Holy Spirit so that I might share and show you to those around me. Use me…use me to bring you praise and glory!

#hopewarrior

It’s January…Soccer Soccer

“For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse. ” Romans 1:20

The Lord is telling us, showing us “I’m HERE – Look HERE – don’t miss me!”

Isn’t God good? To see His design and how He can move color and light is amazing. I have really learned to love and experience God’s creation more and more every year. We have the opportunity to just thank Him and worship Him in these moments. What a blessing!!! Can we really look at this sunset and not wonder – who made it, how did He do it and what does He want from my life? So often we are running around so much, that we miss the BIG signs that God is here with us.

I’ve been crazy busy and I’ll admit a bit tired (I’m living life around here!) but, God has been good to keep my focused and give me the opportunity to spend with Him and worship Him. I am thankful…so thankful for these moments.

I had to pretty much finish training these girls this season. We were supposed to play in a college showcase and that got rained out. All of them will play for their High School teams and so we are unable to do both at the same time. These ladies and their families have been a blessing to me and I am honored to have them play for me and to know they have prayed for me and with me. Can’t always experience that in school ball as much, but when it’s club…there’s no line and I love it! Love you girls!


Abbey and Ashton have enjoyed time with their friends. We’ve gone to a few basketball games this year which has been fun. It’s been different not having the girls play, but also so much more relaxing…I guess for me I have kids on all these teams so I’m into every game I go to anymore. Too many kids that don’t have parents there that I know or they are in my class and some call me “mom” but, I am blessed to get to watch them play.

I have to admit, I love seeing the girls talk and share time together. They have such a good “twin” relationship and for that I’m thankful. They don’t have to be around each other, but they get along fine and as far as I know have never been in a “fight.” So thankful for that.

Nathan has been busy. He is loving music right now. He’s been to two piano lessons which he loves. We had to do lessons on Wednesdays which stinks, but we are hoping that we can change it in fall. He likes to practice and he loves to sing. So we shall see what the Lord is leading him to.

I put a bunch of pics below. Just great blessings the last couple weeks. Was blessed to get some more oils to help me in my treatment. Very thankful and I smell good! My high school soccer girls are working hard and desire to get better. I am blessed to be helped by them in so many ways. We got SNOW! I love just sitting and watching the snow come down. It was so nice to just sit and watch it come down hard and heavy. It didn’t leave any on the ground, but it was beautiful.

Scott and I went out to dinner with the Funks (our friends) and while we were there we got to see Alan and Pam (some friends from our old church) and then we got to see some other friends Angie and Scott before we walked out the door. So great! We ended up having to get a new washer and dryer after we had water all over the place. But what a blessing to get some and I love watching them do their work! Thank you Lord. The last picture….I know I look crazy as a fireman. But I loved and was blessed to go to Rick’s retirement party. Thank you for your service all these years.

I was sent this card and necklace from my friend Robyn. What a great reminder for me everyday that we are in a battle. An enemy that desires to kill, steal and destroy and I am thankful everyday for the army of angels that surround me and my Savior who stands in front of me and besides me to help me with all of my needs.

Thank you everyone for the prayers. I know the Lord is hearing them and giving me the energy and ability to do what He’s called me to do. I am thankful. I am blessed and I know that God is working and moving through this. I finished my 6th treatment so I am thankful for that. Praying for the Lord to provide my every need and for Him to live in and through me every day. He has a plan and will use THIS situation to bring glory to Himself and tell others, “listen up! Look at Me, Find Me.” I desire to be like that sunset and I know that He will show up and out BIG! Thank you FATHER!

Be Blessed! #hopewarrior

Christmas Time … is Here

This year was the year for Winter Kamp with my side of the family. It meant heading north to Minnesota to see my parents, 5 siblings and their spouses and then the 14 other grandkids. There really is no place like home.

Making the drive up to MN, there’s always two things you are watching: for the snow and the temp drop. We saw no snow in Missouri and really didn’t see any in Iowa on the way up. We had to get into MN to be able to see a bit of snow. This snow slopes I’m showing is a place you can go and ski/snowboard. I always went there at least once a year. Lot’s of fun. While we were heading up to Mn there wasn’t a bunch of snow in the forecast, so I was a little bummed. There wasn’t much snow on the ground either. But, the Lord brought us some snow while we were there and it was coming down hard. Lot’s of fun to see.
For Christmas Eve services we went to my parents church. Had a great time in worship and a huge blessing to see my best friend from high school, Stephanie Erickson(Foster). I haven’t seen her for years so seeing her was a special gift to me. She and I would spend hours laughing and training and playing soccer together. Thanks Steph for waiting for me so we could get a hug in!
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I couldn’t believe how much time Nathan spent outside in the little bit of snow we had the first day. He was outside forever. The girls were the ones pulling the cousins around in the snow. They claimed their running counted as team running…LOL! Goodness the little cousins loved having older cousins to pull them around.
After being outside for a long time, it was time to come in and cuddle with the kids and help out with inside games. Garrett led the 1000 piece puzzle making. He (and some helpers) finished it in 3-4 hours. That’s the picture of us putting last piece in. We enjoyed learning some new games with the aunts and uncles. There are so many cool games out there and unfortunately we don’t play them enough. Too much going on that we don’t carve it in to do it. Going to try to do better.
  • These ladies are my aunts. My mom is in the middle and these are her sisters. It’s always a blessing to see them. They did a lot for me growing up and my early married years. Very blessed.
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One of the days we went on a sleigh ride with a couple of horses back in the woods. It was so pretty with snow all over the trees. Not going to lie, it was cold. But, with blankets and coats…. you just get used to it and it’s not bad. Scott even survived. Loved watching the kids running down the hills with the snow everywhere and just enjoying watching their little cousins enjoying the moments.
We had fun at the Mall of America. However, it was very busy. So even if you want to eat at 1:45pm for lunch, there’s going to be a wait. We went to the Aquarium there and grabbed a couple cousins and my brother to go through it. Had a good time. It’s amazing to me how much they add on to the mall as time goes on. That thing was built when I was in high school. Pretty and fun at Christmas, as long as you aren’t in a hurry.
It was a huge blessing to have two of my brothers living closer to my parents now. They were able to host a lot of what we did to give my parents a break. Plus gave us a place to stay. The kids were loud. Not going to pretend they weren’t! It was a race all the time around the houses. Garrett found that the kids loved him a bunch! He’s really great with kids and loved the hugs and chases, ha! Ashton and Abbey were always carrying a kid around and playing with the kids. They enjoyed their baby time and babysitting so my siblings and our spouses could go to dinner. Nathan grew up this time. He did a better job being the “older” person instead of wanting to be the youngest! With 18 cousins, so far, and 14 of them are under 7….it’s a crazy time!
Abbey made those verses for each of my siblings. Did I mention that I have twin nieces now? What a sweet blessing for my sister to share with me. Such sweet girls. I pray….I pray that my nieces and nephews will love Jesus as much as I have been able to. When I was giving my little nieces and nephews a hug before we left…. I almost just broke down. We have no guarantee for tomorrow no matter what we are going through. But, I never spent a lot of time thinking about “my end”, until now with my diagnosis. I don’t think about it a lot, but it occurred to me, that I may never see my little nieces and nephews grow up. But, with cancer or not, that is that case for all of us. Each day, each hug, each smile, each moment is a gift and could be the last one. How would you want that to be? How would you want to be remembered? Life is short. It is. We spend too much time complaining and looking at how “bad” things are when we should be thankful and living the blessed life we’ve been given. I pray you take time to really live this way….You will be blessed. After all of this… we said goodbye to my family and headed home…..
When we got home we went to Stuttgart to visit and have Christmas with Scott’s parents. And we got to see our only living grandparent for Scott and I – Nanny. She loves Jesus so much. I am thankful for that. I feel so blessed that she prays for me and has all of the people she knows praying for me. She’s never thinking about herself at 97. Thankful she will be spending eternity with me. That sunset….was so beautiful and such a blessing. It was a picture of joy, hope and love just all wrapped up. When we left, Nathan, Scott and I went to the house to celebrate New Year’s Eve and the older teens went to have fun with friends.
It was nice getting back to town and back to some routine. Saw some of my girls a couple times at the school. Getting ourselves ready for the soccer season. We start100% when we get back Monday! Please pray against injury for these girls and for the girls to develop as hard as they work.
I”m reading through the Bible with some ladies. I’m using a different Bible this year and using a couple of books to help me think through some things. As I was reading about Noah today, I was really reminded about how so often, we allow what’s going on around us direct us and lead us to places that we don’t need to be. Noah walked with God. No matter what was going on around him, he chose to follow the Lord. Even when he was told to build the ark, which took 120 years, he did everything God commanded of him. I’m sure his neighbors wondered and laughed at what he was doing, yet that didn’t keep him from following what God had told him. As the world around him chose to live a different way, he chose to follow what God said, no matter what happened around him. How often do we give in to others or our circumstances instead of fully relying on and depending on the Lord? Our natural self, will do what we want and what is “good for us”. And we will miss out on what the Lord has set up for us. Don’t allow your circumstances to bring you away from the Lord. Trust Him and Follow Him each and every day. Many Blessings to all of you…Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Prayer Requests:

  • That I may feel prepared and ready to really get going on soccer and school stuff on Monday. I feel more behind this year.
  • Pray that my energy level is high and my focus remains where the Lord has me
  • For the Lord to continue healing my body and killing the cancer cells
  • For us to help Garrett in his final college decisions and helping the girls as they choose where they may want to go and where they would want to play soccer.

I am With You Nicole…Do NOT Fear!

“Count it all joy, my brothers (and sisters), when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.” James 1:2-3

Wow Lord, Wow!!! What a day and crazy couple weeks. Just a quick update here at the beginning of this. Today I had my doctor appointment which started at 7:00am. Now, I was thankful to be able to done and leaving by 11:30am, but I’ve never had a dr appt that early before! Scott drove me and I got my blood draw and then waited on my MRI. Here’s what I realized: don’t drink coffee before you have to get your MRI. I didn’t have to use the bathroom in the middle of it, but I was ready to get up and move around not lay still!

Anyway, being in those machines is unexplainable if you’ve never been in there. You have to decide early that you are doing it and that you can do it….I remind the Lord to hold my hand and help me relax and think of things to think about. When they have your head locked in and you are about 4-5 inches from the top of the cylinder as you lay down, you gotta not be claustrophobic. I’m usually ok, but with a body ready to move today, I admit it was more a struggle today. But, the Lord is so good. We prayed for people, sang songs in my head, ran through Bible verses and thought about things. It’s hard to stay too focused because of the loud booms and noises that go on. After a while they come on over the loud speaker to tell me they are going to send the chemicals into my veins to be able to see what’s happening. You feel a cold drain run up your arm and into your shoulder and then it runs into the rest of your body. They continue to take loud images and then stop everything and pull you out. They told me I was in there for 40 minutes. Longest time….long time.

I am thankful that I didn’t have to push the emergency button to get out and that the Lord gave me what I needed to handle where I was at. When we finished we went up to meet with the nurse and doctor. I was told that my platelet counts were good but my white blood cell count was low but not low enough for them to change plans. As we looked at the two tumor areas…one of the areas was smaller than before (unexpected) and neither area showed activity, which is good. Dr. Ong was pleased with where we are and also told me she and her husband pray for her patients overnight by name. Isn’t that a blessing?! I also got to see one of my soccer player’s grandmas (Mammi), because she works at UAMS. Kate Duncan she was a sweet blessing today to me!

We also had a special special visit from Betty Phillips, from south Arkansas. She came to see me in the waiting room and bring dinner for tonight! All while taking her husband in for a doctor appt. We know her son and family. Listen, when people live in a belief that God doesn’t exist or there’s no way to believe it. I’ve believed, I’ve had faith, I’ve known…. but God has been so good to remind me that He is here and He is lifting me up and holding me. He has filled me with His Hope – which is real and lasts and pulls you through difficulties. I don’t know what He is doing in and through this, but I’ve seen Him do too much that He brings me to tears almost everyday. The calls, text messages, conversations, cards, letters….God touches people and to see Him do it, well it’s AMAZING.

Chemo pills will resume tomorrow night and go for 5 nights. Please pray that I don’t have issues, since it’s Christmas and we are traveling. I also have been told I need to gain about 5 -1o pounds. I feel like I eat all the time already! May have to eat popcorn again every night!

It’s been a good couple of weeks. The kids have enjoyed a lot of the ugly sweater themed things. Sort of funny… Girls have had parties with friends and we will do a party with the high school team tomorrow.

Girls have enjoyed club soccer and with a bit of a break and the start of high school…it’s new things going on. I am very blessed to have such great ladies to train and to be an influence over. Tuesday I got to stop a fight in the Parking lot, while loving on a girl that hit a car. Didn’t know any of the teens, but God is so good to just be given a chance to love on kids. Was very happy too. Also got to see one of my BSF gals – Mary Kate Arrington, who was brining me some veggies and a sweet HOPE ornament and beautiful cross – she got to relive high school life!

Nathan had his Christmas program and he enjoyed himself. He’s going to start piano after Christmas. He’s really enjoying singing and writing. He’s been writing a “novel” about the kids in his class and the made up stuff they do. I think he’s on chapter 8 or 9. Ha! He loves his teacher and looks forward to seeing what he gets to do each day.

Garrett had his last Christmas Band Concert last night. So amazing to see and hear how much better these kids have become over the years. Loved their sweaters and songs. Garrett found out he had gotten a 33 on his last ACT so he is pretty set for college. He was very happy and I know he trusted the Lord to lead him through it.

We are getting ready to leave for Minnesota for part of the Christmas break. We are ready to be cold…maybe not…. but see snow!!!!! We will get to see the 14 cousins who are all under 7! Our kids will be busy…and aunt and uncle will be too!

CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR:

Good sleep

Time to work on some exercises I need to be doing for my hip

To gain some weight

For the Lord to continue to clear up my tumor and make them gone!

Thank you for the prayers and blessings!

He reminds me “Fear Not, Nicole, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, Nicole, you are mine.” Isaiah 43:1