“Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” 

Jeremiah 33:3

While at the Museum of Discovery I saw this picture and I thought…never in my life would I have thought that something that was started back in the late 1800’s radiation would be a part of my life.  Yet her willingness to test and try is being used today to shrink/kill my tumors.  Thank you Lord for giving Marie the wisdom to begin this!

Weekends are a good break for me.  No appointments and just time to do some more normal type things.  We were extremely blessed this weekend because my sister, Alissa and her husband Randy (and their 4 kids) came for a visit.  My sister moved to Dallas a few years ago (is that right?????) and now we will go there for soccer tourneys and just to visit when we can.  Her four kids are under 5 and so they love to follow their older cousins around and do what “big kids do.”  My sister is also pregnant with TWIN girls!  So super cool how both of us will have twin daughters.  She is due the end of September.  So please pray for her as the girls develop that everything goes exactly as it should.  Pray for her as she and Randy desire to raise these kids to love the Lord most.

She was sweet to bring me some homemade oils to try and some really good homemade granola.  You wouldn’t believe what she can accomplish even with all those little in tow.  I got a little adventurous and we went to the Museum of Discovery Saturday for a couple of hours.  Course I love to watch the amazement of anyone who sees something they think is really cool.  For my nephews and niece it was pretty much every couple of minutes.

I have to admit, UGH I’m probably not sleeping the best so I was probably a little more tired than I wanted to be so when we got home so, yes I laid down for a bit.  We let the kids run through the sprinklers and try the slip and slide.  All the while I’m just taking it all in .. these are memories and moments we won’t get again and these kids grow up fast!

The clan left to go back to the hotel because everyone was tired – it’s hard to not nap!  Scott’s boss John Shrewsbury and wife Debbie, who live around the corner from us picked us up in their boat right before our neighborhood fireworks started.  It was a different view on the water and just a bit more restful than on the shore.  I am thankful that they have come to visit with us and pray with us about all of this. It’s great to know that Scott has such a special group of people that he works with.

I love Sundays…. I love them more now than I used to really.  I love to get up get in the Word and then head to church and worship.  To REALLY WORSHIP.  I love to see my kids worship, the other students worship… and honestly I just want to jump up on the pews sometimes and just spin around because the God of the universe has done so many amazing things in my life!  Don’t worry I restrain myself…a bit 🙂 HA

As I studied this morning…of course God wanted to teach me something and showed up to teach me.  I am so thankful for that everyday.  I literally lay in bed and try to be a good patient, rest a bit longer but, I’m giddy and raise my arm and say- in my head -since Scott may be asleep still, “It’s almost time…I can’t wait… here I am and I’m ready..bring it on!” I get up and start bringing my bag full of studying things, my water, coffee, my juice, my breakfast and my medicine and sit in the presence of the Lord on my deck.  It is the most glorious place on the earth for me.

That was all a side note to what the Lord showed me today… 🙂 . Get yourself a place, a schedule and a routine and expect the Lord to teach you something.  He wants to…trust me!

“Praise the Lord!  Sing to the Lord a new song.  Sing his praises in the assembly of the faithful.”  Psalms 149:1

I am still studying 2 Kings and Hezekiah, who I mentioned yesterday was in a bit of bind.  I honestly was a little upset with him as he was making deals with the Assyrian king to give him bits and pieces of the temple.  I thought Hezekiah, where’s the trust, what are you doing?  The Assyrian king brought his thoughts to the king and the people, mocking the Lord and trying to get the people to not trust Hezekiah as king.  Honestly, things weren’t looking good for the people of Judah.

Hezekiah got the report from his staff and his response …

2 Kings 19:1 “When King Hezekiah heard their report, he tore his clothes and put on burlap and went into the temple of the Lord.”

He gathered his close team and sent them to Isaiah because he was in such distress about what was going on.  Isaiah sent a message back…

2 Kings 19:5-7 “After King Hezekiah’s officials delivered the king’s message to Isaiah the prophet replied, “say to your master “This what the Lord says: Do not be disturbed by this blasphemous speech against me from the Assyrian king’s messengers.  Listen I myself will move against him…”

Hezekiah got messages from the surrounding kings and leaders basically questioning his thought to believe that God would give him victory.  They brought doubt and made him think.  So what did he do with this new information?  

2 Kings 19:14-19

14 Hezekiah received the letter from the messengers and read it. Then he went up to the temple of the Lord and spread it out before the Lord. ¹⁵ And Hezekiah prayed to the Lord: “Lord, the God of Israel, enthroned between the cherubim, you alone are God over all the kingdoms of the earth. You have made heaven and earth. ¹⁶ Give ear, Lord, and hear; open your eyes, Lord, and see; listen to the words Sennacherib has sent to ridicule the living God.

¹⁷ “It is true, Lord, that the Assyrian kings have laid waste these nations and their lands. ¹⁸ They have thrown their gods into the fire and destroyed them, for they were not gods but only wood and stone, fashioned by human hands. ¹⁹ Now, Lord our God, deliver us from his hand, so that all the kingdoms of the earth may know that you alone, Lord, are God.”

Hezekiah’s response – Go straight to the Lord, humble himself, layout all his worries and  struggles and then he poured out his desires before the Lord.  I just love that his heart wasn’t “deliver us so that we succeed. deliver us so we win.”  But he asked to be delivered so that the kingdoms of the earth may know that YOU ALONE, LORD are GOD.”  Love this.  When we seek to be delivered from difficulty or hardship, why are we asking?  What if our prayers were like Hezekiah’s – SO THAT THE WHOLE EARTH would KNOW that YOU are GOD!  Lord make that our battle cry!

Isaiah blessed Hezekiah with words from the Lord to let him know what was about to happen going forward.  The word of the Lord was spoken against the Assyrian king and he was about to be brought down, hard.  His sons would eventually kill him.  But, before that the Lord promised a special warrior.  The angel of the Lord went into the Assyrian camp and in one night killed 185,000 soldiers.  Those that survived woke up and saw the corpses and decided it was time to get out of town.

The Lord sent 1 angel to battle an entire army.  I’ve mentioned on here before that I have a couple angels that are in my treatment room with me – I don’t know now, maybe the Lord has given me only one and that’s all I need.  I love to lay there and just imagine them doing what they do to battle my tumors and declare complete victory in the end!  I just love the picture of what is going on that I cannot even see.

Hezekiah had completely put his trust in the Lord and he knew that he himself could not be victorious.  He laid his requests before the Lord and surrendered his fears and desires and rested in the Lord’s hands.  He desired for the whole earth to see the Lord for who He is and that was his heart’s focus.  In the end he wasn’t asked to fight, God fought for him with his own angel and Hezekiah and the people were freed.

I shared this on Facebook this morning and Instagram but, it goes with this so well today and you may not have seen it.

This is me just on my bed raising my hand, jumping for joy and praising God!  I had not read this yet when I was already raising my arm in victory this morning.  I’m praising my Father all day, but I am also standing ready.  I am ready to battle anything the devil wants to try and feed me to turn me away.  The Lord has given me His Word and promise to never leave me or forsake me.  The devil will not have one moment of time…I am a determined warrior and this battle belongs to the LORD!

Thank you fellow warriors for your prayers.  I am blessed by all of you:

• Pray for my continued energy.  Sometimes ugh….I get tired.  I am asking for better sleep at night so I can be rested for the day
• Great peace during treatment this wee
• Continued flushing of all this junk out of my body.  I’ve noticed my face is probably retaining fluid some – so yes my face is rounder.  It’s just more Jesus in me… right?
• I have a full day of dr appts on Thursday.  So just pray that I ask the right questions and that everything is looking just like it should at this point.

“No,  the Lord’s delight is in those who fear him, those who put their hope in his unfailing love.” Psalms 147:11

Goodness it’s been a great day.  It’s like Christmas… only better.  I love to hear from people and share life with them and just be with them.  I am beyond humbled and thankful for every person who who has called, emailed, responded to these blogs, texted, come to visit, sent cards, unexpected gifts…. Listen – HOW DO I KNOW THE LORD HAS ME?  Because I am surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses cheering me on and encouraging me to battle hard.  Blessed….blessed….blessed. And I smile 🙂

Day 8 on my treatment.  Finished a whole week!  Yeah.  I have been blessed with a great team that cares for me and loves me and takes care of my for my 18 1/2 minute adventure everyday.  By the end of this, it will feel like visiting family…honestly already does.  They blessed me today to tell me that another patient listened to my CD during her treatment.  Love that.  Pray that they have the exact wisdom to zap these tumors away!

I need to brag a little bit.  I know I have mentioned a lot of people on here… mostly new people.  But, my hubby has been the best through all of this.  He has been my physical rock and has allowed me to just soak in the Word and Be.  He has taken care of every detail for me, prayed with me and over me and has been everything I have needed.  When we talk about, “for better or worse – sickness and in health…” we’ve lived a pretty easy life up to this point.  Nothing to really talk about or be surprised by.  Then this.  He was the one who had to call 9-1-1, really it was 9-1-0 and he couldn’t figure out what was going on… but made sure that I was ok until the ambulance got me.  He hasn’t slept great, he’s been on the phone with doctors around the country and has researched beyond what I know.  He only shares what he thinks I need to know and has just been ALL I ever needed from my husband.  Scott I am beyond thankful for you and I am thankful that you trust in Jesus as much as I do.  You know He has a plan and you have allowed Him to teach you and strengthen you through this.  Our kids are watching you and seeing Jesus.  I love you more and more each day of this journey.  Feel so blessed. Continue to pray that he has everything he needs and is strengthened each and every day.

After treatment today, I came home and was blessed by a couple of young ladies.  I have never met these girls but, goodness if they don’t blow me away.  I opened up a couple of cards from them.  Hayley Holtz and Elizabeth Palmer.  Elizabeth was a Bryant graduate I have never met but they are spending their summer at KALEO camp in Orlando Florida.  They sent me cards saying they were praying for me and they ministered to my heart today through their words.  Hayley was a soccer player…so bam instant connection there and they love Jesus – so even a better!  Girls if you are reading this…thank you.  Keep praying and keep ministering at that camp!  Would give you a hug if I could.  I cheated and looked up Elizabeth’s pic. 🙂 . Her mom has been so sweet to me as well making sure I get veggies to juice which has been so awesome and a super blessing as well.  God’s people are amazing! Pray that God uses them just how he has designed this summer and that their faith grows with each moment!  Praying great things for them.

I had a special text this morning from a special girl and her mom.  Caroline Campbell and her mom Heidi came by to bless me with a special visit.  They were sort of the ones to rope me into thinking about helping at Bryant High School and then obviously the next step was me getting the coaching job and all that’s come with it.  Caroline plays at the University of Arkansas and is a super smart funny future chemical engineer.  Love them so much.  I wasn’t thinking when they left so I made them take a selfie as they headed back up to Fayetteville, ha!  I would ask you to pray for Caroline’s dad who has battled headaches….not just normal ones… severe debilitating…  I am asking for relief for him now…it’s been too long a battle and they need relief.  Thank you

“Whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.” 1 John 2:6

As I was studying today, I was really blown away and focused to the fact that we are people who have a hard time getting rid of what hinders us, sin and moving forward free.  I’ve thought about that a lot lately and mentioned it a bit yesterday and some of the writings….but was really hit by it today.  Am I truly walking with Jesus, in Jesus…. all in with Him or am I holding on to things that will pull me away and eventually bring me down?

In 2 Kings 15:3-4 it says, “He did what was pleasing in the Lord’s sight, just as his father, Amaziah, had done.  BUT he did not destroy the pagan shrines, and the people still offered sacrifices and burned incense there.”  So this is talking about King Uzziah who rules over Judah.  He was only 16 years when he became king.  His heart was focused on pleasing the Lord and wanted to follow after Him, BUT.  There’s that word, BUT.  He was in, BUT not ALL in.  As king he would’ve had every right to tear down those shrines and tell the people, nope not going to use those things.  BUT instead he allowed sin to creep at the door and wait to pounce.  And here’s what happens next.

His son, Jotham became king.  2 Kings 15:34-35 “Jotham did what was pleasing in the Lord’s sight.  He did everything his father, Uzziah, had done.  BUT he did not destroy the pagan shrines, and the people still offered sacrifices and burned incense there.  He rebuilt the upper gate of the temple of the Lord.”  So here we are second generation still not ALL in.

After this his son Ahaz begins to rule and after two generations of allowing sin to a part of life we see a dramatic change in the heart of the new king.  “He did not do what was pleasing in the sight of the Lord his God, as his ancestor David had done.  INSTEAD, he followed the example of the kings of Israel, even sacrificing his own son in the fire.  In this way, he followed the detestable practices of the pagan nations the Lord had driven from the land ahead of the Israelites.”  2 Kings 16:2-3

So why did this hit me today?  How often do I claim to love the Lord…my life evens shows it…but I am allowing sin to stick around because “it’s not that bad??” It could be worse.  What’s the big deal?  I go to church on Sunday, listen to Jesus music and I’m a nice person.  And yet I allow gossip, selfishness, love of things and other things going on in our lives… that we shrug off as not a big deal.  That’s what these kings were doing.  They knew these shrines existed…they knew sin was in the camp and they just allowed it because – I love God and what’s the big deal if I have these little things around.  Obviously, three generations later it cost the great grandson his life.  When we choose to step forward and follow Christ we really have to be ALL in and ready to get rid of anything that may hinder us or cause us to stumble.  It’s serious.

As I continued reading in Acts, I thought wow, completely different thing going on here:

Acts 19:18-20  (NIV)

¹⁸ Many of those who believed now came and openly confessed what they had done. ¹⁹ A number who had practiced sorcery brought their scrolls together and burned them publicly. When they calculated the value of the scrolls, the total came to fifty thousand drachmas.^{[a] 20} In this way the word of the Lord spread widely and grew in power. 

When you look at other versions it says we are talking about 3 million dollars was the value of the scrolls.  Theses people were so committed and confessed their sins that they were willing to give up A LOT.  Their actions caused the Word of the Lord to spread and it spread with power.  These believers could’ve done what the Kings had done.  I believe sure I do, but going to just put these scrolls over here..or better yet I could sell them and make some money!  No they were so committed to the Lord they chose to burn them.  The line in the sand meant something to them.  They stepped across and left everything else behind.

I have to admit, I’ve been those Kings.  I have allowed things to exist in my life because it didn’t seem TOO bad.  Yet those ugly things always reared their head later and burned me and brought me away from the Lord.

The Lord has brought me on this journey in my life.  He has challenged me, prepared me and is now asking me are you willing to give up everything for me?  Will you tear down everything and burn anything that would pull you away from me?  I thought I said yes before…but I am so thankful that the Lord is showing me that I haven’t been honest with Him and through this journey he’s given me, I’m ready.  I want the Lord to completely DELIGHT in me as the verse at the beginning said.  What an honor to give the Lord this gift.  Can you imagine the Lord giddy and just smiling because we are all in?

“No,  the Lord’s delight is in those who fear him, those who put their hope in his unfailing love.” Psalms 147:11

If you are struggling to lay down everything…ask Him to reveal what is holding you back and commit to lay it down and walk away.  Be set free and watch the Lord’s DELIGHT blow you away!

So many blessings to all of you!  Somethings to pray about:

• A great and blessed weekend with my sister and family
• Pray that I get good rest – I’m feeling good but want to stay a head of things lol
• Continue to pray that the chemo medicine and everything flushes out of my body
• Good family time with the kids and Scott this weekend as well

So 7 treatments down today.  Yeah!  I have been dealing with the chalky taste in my mouth and have been sucking on lemon drops – which are just so good – Thanks Wendy Cavaneau!  Yesterday I decided I was going to suck and chew on one really quickly before going into treatment and so I’m quickly biting it so I can lay on the table and get under the mask.  Well apparently I left a tiny part in my mouth… didn’t know it and so I was having to swallow more during the treatment than I probably wanted to.  So today I wised up and just said “chalky taste you got your 40 seconds with me today…not going to battle with a lemon drop.”

Treatment went well the last two days.  I have taken the last spot before lunch so I do my best to get in lay down and get out so everyone gets their full lunch break – ha!  Seriously great people in there.  They turn my music up as loud as I want and do what they do with the lazers. Also got blood drawn afterwards.

There is a sweet soul that usually in there right before me or after depending on when he gets there.  His name is Gene and he is such a sweet joy to see every day.  His wife Gloria is such a sweet light as well.  He is nearing the end of his radiation treatment so we won’t be passing each other in the halls everyday like we do now in a couple weeks.  I am thankful for their sweet smiles and their love for Jesus.  Pray that the clean scans they are seeing for him remain that way going forward – Praise the Lord and pray his nauseausness doesn’t bother him.  There are so many wonderful people you get to meet and hear their stories and then pray for.  Sorry the one is sideways…. 🙂

Yesterday was super busy for us.  It was my Mother In Law’s birthday.  Ann has lived at our house almost everyday since my surgery.  She has been such a blessing to us, driving us around and helping aroud the house.  And as life goes… she spent her 70th bday with us being….busy.   We were able to watch the HOGS baseball team and eat cake.  We are very thankful for her willingness to be here for us during this journey.

Kids had plans and had the opportuntity to get together with their mission team and the other two teams Wednesday and share about their experiences at the different locations.  The kids had such a great time on their trip and I am thankful for every memory and moment that they will cherish forever.  Thankful to the adults who invested in them.

I got a special visit yesterday from a special friend of mine Sarah and her daughter Mollie.  Love sharing time with her and just sharing our experiences, hope and joy in the Lord.  Don’t get to see her too often anymore since she moved but, that is the beautiful thing about friendships that have their foundation in the Lord.  It’s like you never left each other and you just dig deeper together.

“But joyful are those who have the God of Israel as their helper, whose hope is in the Lord their God.”

Psalm 146:5

So, so thankful that the God of the universe sees me and knows what I need each and everyday.  He sends me his peace, comfort and messages that remind me “I see you, I love you, I’ve got this and I’m using it.  Trust me completely.”  The Lord really spoke to me this morning as I was coloring my little picture to hang-up by my mirror.  I apologize if you already saw it … but as I was reading through 2 Kings and Acts the Truth in this very familiar passage just really hit me:

How much do I really trust the Lord in my situations and circumstances.  If I don’t go ALL in then I’m really telling the Lord that I don’t think He can or will do what needs to be done.  So how do we really learn to trust like that?  We DECIDE to depend and then we bring our honest hearts to the Lord and ask Him to build this kind of faith in our lives.  Then when we have moments to act – which will come – we get honest with the Lord and say, “I’m stepping forward and I’m trusting you.  I know that you got this and me.”  And I’ve seen Him do it too many times in my life…And now I’ve seen him ramp it up to a level that I am just like Elisha and Paul watching the unbelievable.

I shared a bit about Elisha’s life and today I was a bit sad… he died.  But, before his death he minisered to King Jehoash of Israel and challenged him to get some bows and arrows and put his hands on the King’s hands and assisted and challenged him to shoot an arrow through the window.  He said in 2 Kings 13:17 “This is the Lord’s arrow, an arrow of victory over Aram, for you will completely conquer the Arameans at Aphek.” Elisha was sick…. he probably knew his life was coming to a close, yet he took the time to minister to and encourage a king, because he knew a nation was at stake.  He had complete trust in the Lord no matter what it meant for him.  Wow…. to live for others ready to pour yourself out completely.  Now that’s faith lived out in complete trust.

So really quickly here.  I read something i don’t ever remember reading before in reading 2 Kings 13:21.  There was a group of Israelites who were burying a man and they spied some raiders and instead of burying the man they through his body into the grave to chase after these guys.

2 Kings 13:21 ” But as soon as the body touched Elisha’s bones, the dead man revided and jumped to his feet.”  Ok people that’s pretty cool… I love this picture. Elisha was so full of God while living that the Lord allowed his body to miraculously revive a dead person.  Can’t explain it … but it is this kind of stuff that we should be expecting and asking God to see!

As I read Acts 19:11-12 today again, just blown away again in the same day…

“God gave Paul the power to perform unusual miracles.  When handkerchiefs or aprons that had merely touched his skin were place on sick people, they were healed of their diseases and evil spirits were expelled.”

God allowed and used Paul to perform miracles we can’t even imagine.

God did big things through Elisha and Paul… but, do we even expect Him to use us at all? Do we wander through life just hoping to feel good every once in a while and we miss the wonder and power that God has given us that we are not trusting him and asking him to use in us?  Most of us have chosen a happy faith and we don’t even consider the fact that we are called to be warriors and we have been given the arrows to be victorious in every situation.  I am bolder in my prayers these days.  Bolder in my expectations.  Bolder in my praise. Bolder in my ALL IN TRUST.   And I wouldn’t trade a moment of this battle and journey, because I have seen “bones come to life and handkerchiefs and aprons heal…”  Join me and BE BOLD and watch your Life be transformed.

I was blessed to get some sweet flowers from my sweet sister in the Lord Jennifer Offutt. She has been so encouraging to me and just lovely.  As I took pictures of the flowers she sent from one day to the next… I watched those tulips open up.  And I thought what a great picture of what I want my life to be.  The sun encourages these petals to open and to show their beauty and show who they were made to be.  It is the Son that opens us to the opportunity to display our beauty and purpose to others and they experience great joy because of what He does in our lives – lean in and TRUST.

I forgot to include in my last blog how you can continue to pray…and I need the prayers:

• Continue to pray that the 11:30 treatments are right where they need to be and the 7 shots are effective 
• Pray that my energy stays good… I feel blessed to feel pretty good.  
• The chalky taste and I have just decided to exist together unless the Lord has plans to take it away.  So just pray that I will continue to use that time to thank the Lord
• I want to really make sure my body is flushing out all of these toxins so just pray that the Lord does this 
• My sister and her family will be here this weekend, so praying that we have a blessed time no issues (she’s pregnant with twin girls -eek!)
• Prayers as we finalize the tshirts I designed and bracelets – so excited!  Continue to pray that if I can encourage anyone at anytime that my eyes are open and I lean in and trust.

Blessings, prayers and HOPE to my WARRIOR Friends!