Keeping Focused

I know I wrote a couple days ago and many of you have asked me questions about the appointment and what we have decided to do.  I would love to report that we are 100% sure on what we are going to do, but we aren’t there.  We had a great visit with a Dr. at UAMS and enjoyed his knowledge and all that he feels like he can do when he sees my scans.  He is very confident that he can go in and remove most if not all of the tumors and would do part of the surgery on me awake.  Little bit for me to wrap my head around.  It’s gotten a little easier to think about the process of all of this because I have been surrounded with great encouragement from so many people and have been given the opportunity to speak with others who have gone through similar situations.

I spent almost an hour on the phone last night with a woman who lives hear Hot Springs.  Her husband has battled brain cancer for the past 5 years and she was so gracious to share with me their journey and struggles – but also praises.  He underwent the same type of procedures that we are talking about for me.  I love being able to share life with new people and be able to praise God together and pray together as we are both in a very real battle, but trust in the One we know can deliver and will no matter what.  Please pray for them: Her name is Kim and her Husband is Mike.  Pray for God to work in a mighty way in his brain and for them to continue to feel peace in the process.

While I was on the phone with Kim, Scott was on the phone with someone else who had connections to a couple doctors at Duke.  He shared with this woman a little about what was going and then today we sent my pics to the doctors there so they could look at them.  We should hear from them this weekend.

I have seen God show up in some amazing -amazing ways.  I cannot keep up writing about it because I am in tears most of the time as I really think about how he is just keeping me close to his heart and working so many details out for me that he knows that I need.  I wake up every day, spend time in the word and every moment after that I am choosing to trust.  I don’t know what my future holds.  I choose not to think about it too much.  Honestly, all I want to think about is relaxing by the pool, getting my house redone and getting my soccer stuff organized.  But, the Lord has a different plan for me this summer.  He has decided to take me deep and to ask me to draw others closer to himself.  I could refuse and live in misery and worry.  But, I have seem him bless too may circumstances in my life for me to choose that road.  I am confident that he who began a good work in me will carry it out to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6) . He isn’t going to waste a moment of this journey for me and those who allow him in.

With all of this going on in my life…. other things in life continue on.  I need to order letters and awards for my high school girls…I’m a little behind on this.  Should’ve already ordered these things.  I am trying to put together and get my club team organized – do people want to play for a coach with a brain tumor…lol.  But, goodness have I been so touched by these ladies and their families.  Literally my time coaching means so much to me.  I love the opportunity to challenge the ladies on the field and in life and to just love on them.  I know the struggles they face and I know it’s hard for them to find someone to open to and my greatest desire is for them to know that they can count on me.  I’ve struggled with that a bit through this, because there are no guarantees in any of this.  But, the reality is there never is or was a guarantee before my diagnosis either.  I am focused, committed and steadfast to be here for them for however long our journey is and to show them how you struggle and overcome – to be a warrior through life’s rocky journey.

I am working through designing a t-shirt right now, to help my girls (teams) and keep them focused on this battle and who holds the victory.  This shirt will keep me focused on the One who holds me and where I need to spend my energy no matter what I may see going forward.  I can’t wait to show you all the finished design!

I have been working through this passage today:

“May the God of HOPE fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with HOPE by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13

Please pray this verse for me…

• I want the JOY of Christ to always be evident in my life.  This isn’t a “happy” tone or way to be, it’s a deep uncontrollable overflow that only the Lord can give.  No matter my situation or circumstances, I want the JOY of Christ to bubble over in my life.
• That I will have peace going forward.  We are about to make a decision regarding my treatment.  What I have basically been told is that you start a treatment and go with it.  And choosing one thing over the other is your decision.  I want to be wise and I want God’s peace in the process.  He has brought so many awesome people to us that has been such a blessing to us to help us navigate through these decisions – so thankful.
• That we may overflow with HOPE.  I want to be a Hope Warrior.  In the Old Testament Hope was linked with “putting confidence in or taking refuge in.”  The New Testament goes on to say that the christian has hope that is the “assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.(Hebrews 11:1) It cannot be moved by circumstances.  I want to step forward in complete confidence and know no matter what I am told, I can trust in the one who holds me.   He is my refuge and I can take refuge in him going forward.

Thank you for praying and ministering to me and my family already.  I keep asking God why he chose me to share this message… but I am already so blessed and thankful for what I have seen him do.