It has been a pretty crazy week.  To think that I have only 4 more days – 4 more days of treatment is crazy.  Where did the time go?  I have to say, I am probably just now starting to feel some of the symptoms or drain of the treatment.  I am a little more tired sometimes and having an acid type feeling that comes up and burns every once in a while.  I am thankful that the Lord continues to fight for me and has held me up each and every day.  Thank you for the continued prayers.  Now, I am starting to think about life beyond my getting up and going to treatment every day and waiting to come back the next.  I have been so blessed by the people up there and their care for me, that I will miss them and the laughs we’ve had.  Love you guys!

My parents have been in town all week so they have come up to treatments and been able to see what all goes on up there.  It’s a blessing to meet new people and to hear their stories … it’s also great to give God the glory and to see how many people up there are focused on Him during this time.  It’s like a mini church sermon and praise and worship session.

Took this pic this morning of my chemo pill.  So, some have asked and I probably haven’t explained too well… but I take a chemo pill about 45 minutes before radiation and then I also take the pill on the weekends.  When I am done with radiation I’ll get a break from the pill until after the scans and then more than likely will take the pill once a month for a week until ???? don’t know that.  But yes I have to wear a glove to handle this pill.

This week has been a little crazy!  Girls were at soccer camp and came home and crashed!  They loved UCA and hanging with their buds and meeting new people.  Nathan was a chatty box this week-probably because girls were gone.  He was busy talking to me about everything, he likes to come out on the deck and hear some of what I’m reading and then unpack everything he’s thinking about.  His biggest thing all week was he wanted to cook me breakfast.  He didn’t understand I get up earlier than him to be with the Lord and I eat early so I can stay on schedule.  Well he wanted to make me fried eggs, so he made me and my dad fried eggs one morning.  So sweet.  Grandpa said he would take him for ice cream if he did 4 chores, so he was busy doing all kinds of things.  He and my mom organized a closet and put together all of the baby puzzles.  My mom made Kale “chips” and Nathan actually tried them, didn’t like them thus the face that looks like he’s choking, but he tried them.  He’s a crazy little kid.

Also so blessed by so many visitors bringing dinner and stopping by to chat.  Love seeing and being blessed by so many.  Thank you all so much for the food and the prayers.  Had fun seeing the Lorios and the Humphreys – beautiful flowers (below) – I don’t always remember to take pics!  Thankfully Scott reminds me when he’s around.  We were blessed by our neighbors the Greens – no picture 🙁 and Nathan has been running around wild with his little buddy (their son) Soren.

Some new things this week…. SOCCER Training begins….school organization is about official….Hope Warrior shirts are in….treatment ends…..Yeah!

“Let my teaching fall like rain and my words descend like dew, like showers on new grass, like abundant rain on tender plants.”

Deuteronomy 32:2

I have to admit, every time I sit and read the Bible I am always sitting there thinking I could write about this…and then I move on to the next book of the Bible I’m reading and I think, wow blow me away.  I wish I could just sit and talk, share and grow with each of you everyday.  You all have no idea…and I have no idea who all is reading this… but you have encouraged me in this fight and kept me focused where I need to be.  Not on me, but on Him and allowing Him to speak whatever He desires through me.  I am blessed – blessed.

Reading in 2 Chronicles about King Jehoshaphat who was King of Judah who started out following after the Lord hard.  After war and time he was told that the Lord was angry with him because he was helping the wicked and hating those who loved the Lord.  He could’ve responded any way he wanted to, this seer that came to him could’ve been killed on the spot.  But, when the seer came to King J and told him what was about to happen, this is what he did…

“Jehoshaphat lived inJerusalem, but he went out among the people, traveling from Beersheba to the hill country of Ephraim, encouraging the people to return to the Lord, the God of their ancestors.”  He went out and appointed judges and told them how to judge and to “Fear the Lord”….These were his instructions to them: “You must always act in the fear of the Lord, with faithfulness and an undivided heart” He said that in vs 7 and 9. 

What is so encouraging and challenging to me about King J here in these passages, there are so many of us who don’t respond the way he did.  He responded humbly and ready to move forward in God’s will.  He didn’t make excuses on why certain things should be done or why he wasn’t following the Lord.  He listened and then obeyed right away.  How often am I guilty of talking myself into why I did things a certain way or why I am not walking in the Lord’s will at the time because I want to do what I want to do?  King J got the news and set about changing what he was doing and what was going on in the entire kingdom.

After this a few kingdoms declared war on King  J and he was told that more armies were coming.  In chapter 20 it says he was terrified and he begged the Lord for guidance and commanded that everyone begin fasting.  People came to Jerusalem from everywhere because they wanted to seek the Lord’s help.

King J stands in front of the people and says

“Lord, the God of our ancestors, are you not the God who is in heaven? You rule over all the kingdoms of the nations. Power and might are in your hand, and no one can withstand you.⁷ Our God, did you not drive out the inhabitants of this land before your people Israel and give it forever to the descendants of Abraham your friend? ⁸ They have lived in it and have built in it a sanctuary for your Name, saying, ⁹ ‘If calamity comes upon us, whether the sword of judgment, or plague or famine, we will stand in your presence before this temple that bears your Name and will cry out to you in our distress, and you will hear us and save us.’

I love so much about this heart wrenching real prayer.  He was humble and brought back what King J knew was true about God, what He had already done in the past.  And then in the end the TRUST in knowing that no matter what we see or have happen YOU WILL SAVE US.  As the armies got closer and the fighting seemed to be close at hand….

¹⁴ Then the Spirit of the Lord came on Jahaziel son of Zechariah, the son of Benaiah, the son of Jeiel, the son of Mattaniah, a Levite and descendant of Asaph, as he stood in the assembly.

¹⁵ He said: “Listen, King Jehoshaphat and all who live in Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the Lord says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s. ¹⁶ Tomorrow march down against them. They will be climbing up by the Pass of Ziz, and you will find them at the end of the gorge in the Desert of Jeruel.¹⁷ You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.’”

They are told not to be afraid twice and that they will not have to even fight.  The Lord would be with them.  Now here’s where I would’ve liked to have had a front row seat….

²⁰ Early in the morning they left for the Desert of Tekoa. As they set out, Jehoshaphat stood and said, “Listen to me, Judah and people of Jerusalem! Have faith in the Lord your God and you will be upheld; have faith in his prophets and you will be successful.” ²¹ After consulting the people, Jehoshaphat appointed men to sing to the Lord and to praise him for the splendor of his^[c] holiness as they went out at the head of the army, saying:

²² As they began to sing and praise, the Lord set ambushes against the men of Ammon and Moab and Mount Seir who were invading Judah, and they were defeated.

Can you imagine the singers dancing and shouting and no one fighting and the Lord himself set ambushes to fight God’s enemies.  They all returned and were overjoyed because they had been given victory by God, from their enemies.

When I think about how amazing this experience must have been, I can’t discount how I’ve seen God do amazing things in my life where He has done all the work and battled for me and I have just been changed through it.  This journey I am on is one of them.  I am thankful that God stands and fights and that He has promised to take down my enemies and all I have been asked to do is believe.

My mom was looking through her summer Bible study while she was here todayand sharing with me where she read verses or quotes that made her think of me.  She read me this one from a book by Oswald Chambers quoted by F. Bruce and I thought, yes guys – that is my heart’s desire.

“My goal is God Himself, not joy, nor peace, Nor even blessing, but Himself, my God; ‘Tis His to lead me there, not mine, but His – ‘At any cost, dear Lord, by any road.'”

Here are some ways you can pray for me:

• Pray that my fatigue will not increase and I am asking God to fight against it and allow me to press forward in what He’s called me to 
• Pray for good sleep in the next few weeks before school
• Pray that I am focused on what I need to do so I feel ready to begin
• Pray that in these last 4 sessions of radiation that the Lord eliminates what remains – only God!
• Pray that I am given God appointments the final days I’m at CARTI here to honor Him and share His glory

Bless you warriors!

It has been a busy but crazy few days.  I am thankful because I down to single digits for treatment left.  It is also the reality that I am down to less days to target those specific tumors with radiation.  I am completely trusting the Lord to remove these tumors completely.  I have 7 days left….7! Can you believe it?  When we started with 31 it seemed like it would last forever and here we are about to finish up.  As I started thinking about 7, I was really focused on the fact that 7 is God’s perfect number.  Then I really thought, why not take a Bible verse for each day to claim for that treatment as we finish up?!

I know I have an army beside, in front of, behind me who will pray with me these promises and Truths for each day:

Wednesday – Isaiah 53:5 “And by His stripes we are healed.”

Thursday – Exodus 15:26 ” I am the Lord that Heals you.”

Friday – Exodus 23:25-26 “I will take sickness away from the midst of you and the number of your days I will fulfill.”

Monday – Psalm 107:20 “I sent my Word and healed you and delivered you from your destruction.”

Tuesday – Psalm 103:3 “I heal all diseases.”

Wednesday – Ephesians 6:3 “I want it to be well with you and I want you to live long on the earth.”

Thursday – Matthew 4:23 “I heal all manner of sickness and all manner of disease.” 

Thank you everyone for walking this journey with me and standing firm on God’s Word with me.  I am Blessed.

We have so enjoyed the opportunities to spend time with people as they have brought us dinner the last few days .  It has been so great to catch up, laugh and see wonderful caring people at the house.

We were blessed with a restful weekend.  I went and got new glasses!  This was a big deal because for the last long time – who knows how long, I’ve been duck taping my glasses together because I didn’t want to go get glasses.  I decided that the duck tape needed to go and I went with my favorite soccer color – blue! Was also blessed by Rhonda McKinney with a new hat – perfect right? Where would we be without HOPE?

We were able to drop the girls off at soccer camp at the University of Central Arkansas.  I was thankful they had other girls from their teams there so they weren’t going alone, the hugs I got were a blessing too!  Ready to coach again….Hard to believe that in 3 short years it will be their turn…. where does time go?

We also had family drop in and visit for a few hours.  Wasn’t long, but it was so great to be able to see my cousins Angie and Mike and their sweet little ones.  They dropped through on their way home to Peoria, IL.  We were able to visit and then had to go Chick-fil-a to see Garrett at work.  My parents had just come to town so we were able to see them there too and hang out until it was time for bed!  Thanks Mike and Angie for making the stop -so good to see you guys and thanks for joining us on our nightly walk! And thanks to the teens (Anna, Caleb and Zach) we know who were nice enough to take all the pics!

So yes, it’s been a busy few days for us!  But, what a blessing.  Loving my time with each person that I get to spend time with!

AHHHH can I just rest in this today?  What PEACE here – If God is on my team, no one else stands a chance!  What’s awesome about this? I know He and I are on the same team and so I can have JOY and HOPE that bubbles over.  Thank you Jesus. Thank you.  I love being able to stare at this everyday in my kitchen be reminded of the fact that nothing is ever wasted.  God has a plan and purpose in everything I go through.  Bless – what PEACE!

In reading the end of Romans 8 today I was ready to battle.  I have shared with you my desire to pray for you all especially in treatment.  As I pray each day, I really desire to seek the Lord’s will as I am bold and ask for Him to intercede for me and for others.

²⁶ In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. ²⁷ And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

²⁸ And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who^[i] have been called according to his purpose.

What a blessing to know that the very Spirit of God intercedes for us as we pray.  We don’t need to “worry” that we pray “good enough” or have the “right words,” we have been given help through the Spirit.  Paul goes on to remind us that if we are under Christ we have nothing else to worry about.  We are under the banner of the maker of the universe!

³¹ What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? ³² He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 

When I stop and really think about the fact that God Himself was willing to allow His own son to die… for me…. for you.  That’s mind blowing.  And because God was willing to do something that hard, for us -He gave us His son – we can rest in knowing that His desire is FOR us.

³³ Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. ³⁴ Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. ³⁵ Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ³⁶ As it is written:

³⁷ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

No matter what we face going forward.  We can claim these verses and know that when we put our trust in Christ, choosing to live our lives for Him, NOTHING we do or that happens in the world will ever separate us from what Jesus already accomplished on the cross.  Remember that.  Don’t allow failure or others speak the lies of “God could never love you or use you….”  NOT TRUE.  You have a purpose and God has a plan for your life that is unique and special.  Ask Him to show you and live faithfully for Him, you’ll see Him work in ways you never thought possible.

Here are some other ways you guys can pray for me:

• I am coming off of my steroids slowly… so, I know it will mean less “extra” energy – prayers for my body to adjust to this and also against any swelling that may want to happen – I still want energy!
• Prayers I can get all these toxins out of my body as I am being hit by them daily
• Prayers for me as I start focusing on what I have going on in the next couple of weeks – school/soccer
• Prayers for good vision still and no head “Aches”
• Prayers for clear scans when they get scheduled!

It has been a really busy few days.  So still doing radiation everyday at 11:30am.  Love my people up there.  Blessed to see some “graduate” and move on and now even today, the reminder that this battle goes on.  There were new faces up there today just starting and I can remember wondering the first few days, what have I gotten myself in to.   I’m praying for these first timers or second first timers.  It’s a hard battle and the longer the battle goes, the harder it is to BE STILL and Believe.

I want to thank all of you again for allowing me the opportunity to pray with and for you.  It allows me focus and direction in the morning, during treatment, when the Lord reminds me during the day and at night when I am up.  I have been truly blessed to bring these requests to the Lord in confidence and in battle against Satan.  I have to write everything down…or forget it I won’t remember!

We have had a super busy week.  It sort of hit me this week that school starts soon!  I feel like the kids… course I’ve always been a “I could do without school messing up what I’m doing” kind of person.  But, this is life.  School must begin and everyday I take a link off of my cancer battle chain I am basically saying – school is one day closer- at least that’s what the kids say.

I knew that I wanted to get into the soccer office in the field house.  Last year, didn’t have a whole lot of time to think about how the office could be or should be.  Coach Friday, who shares the office with me, said “do whatever you want I don’t care”.  So I did.  I roped my father-in-law and my family, plus Nikki Funk into getting up there for a couple days and cleaning it out, throwing things away and getting it ready for the year.  And I LOVE IT!!!! Not all the way done, but it is soooo much better.  I left room for more trophies and It was good for my WHAT’s NEXT thought process, because now….I’m a little more ok with school starting.  Let’s not talk about my classroom yet 🙂 . hat a blessing it was to meet them.

 I was also able to meet the Gomez family in my renovations.  They sold me a bench to put in the office and we shared our relationship with the Lord and fellow battles with cancer.  What a blessing it was to meet them.

I was also able to get to see some of my club girls. So, I coach at the high school, but also have been a club soccer coach forever. This year I coach girls that are sophomores and juniors  – YIKES! So I have some girls from my high school team and then I have these other amazing ladies that I get to pour into and meet that I just love.  It made it interesting for me this year as a high school coach watching them play.  I have to admit I was coaching them in my head, under my breath and wondering why they just did what they did and me saying “oh that was a good ball…” It’s fun to to just enjoy the game sometimes.

Besides hanging out with these ladies, I was blessed by so many others.  At treatment this week…since I did the bald thing, I thought maybe I should look into a wig or something for school.  I hadn’t really considered that my hair would be in shock for awhile and who knows when it will decide to grow back.  So I made a trip at CARTI to their wig and other hair stuff room and I met these sweet teens.    What a blessing that they choose to volunteer up there and try and help those of us who have no idea what’s going on!  Ella Beth and Kate are students at Little Rock Christian Academy and blessed me as we all laughed at what was happening up on my head!  Did I get a wig – no, not yet, but I got a cute scarf!

I was also blessed to see my sweet warrior friend Sarah who is also battling brain cancer and she and I share the same Spirit of the Lord so we just are soul sisters every time we get the chance to speak or see each other.  In all her deals she, blessed me by knowing I may need a softer head and gave me some products to help me with the skin damage of radiation.  Thanks Girl!

Nathan was super excited to get a special breakfast dinner from Ms Vaughan, who works at our church and her parents.  He has really enjoyed watching people stop by and of course seeing what other people cook.  Seriously,  been so blessed to be fed by so many people.  It really is a highlight of my day to just spend time talking with people who are praying for us and investing in my health.  THANK YOU WARRIORS!

I am super excited to get my artwork from my good friend Sarah Henry of Redeemed Home Goods.  I asked her to paint what Abbey had done and I cannot wait to pick this piece up from her and get it hung up!

“I will cry to God Most High, to God who accomplishes ALL THINGS FOR ME.” Psalm 57:2

I have to admit, I am reading a lot of books right now.  Some are devotionals, some are words of scripture, some are from people who have walked in the dark valleys, some are daily Biblical challenges and I am enjoying each one.  As I read through one of these Bible Studies it took me to the book of Job.  And I was very thankful for the time spent in there.  The book of Job has always been a very amazing exchange to me and here where I am now, I was further reminded that as I pray very fervently over each request for others and for myself that we are in a very REAL battle.  Satan desires to take us down and out and that is the Truth.  BUT GOD…..people!  We have GOD, El Elyon – THE MOST HIGH with US!  And in reading these very familiar passages to me again, in this time, God really affirmed and spoke to me.

Job 1:6-12 

⁶ One day the angels^[a] came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan^[b]also came with them. ⁷ The Lord said to Satan, “Where have you come from?”

Satan answered the Lord, “From roaming throughout the earth, going back and forth on it.”

I am not going to assume we all know what’s going on here.  It is believed that Job may be the first book of the Bible written and Job was an upright God worshipping, believing person.  He was very successful and had a blessed family.  Everything was going good for Job.  Satan was created as a beautiful angel of God – who CHOSE to rebel against God-becoming an enemy of God.

⁸ Then the Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil.”

⁹ “Does Job fear God for nothing?” Satan replied. ¹⁰ “Have you not put a hedge around him and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land. ¹¹ But now stretch out your hand and strike everything he has, and he will surely curse you to your face.”

So as Satan is roaming around the earth, the Lord points out Job.  Can you imagine having the Lord say, “There is no one on earth like him…” For the Lord to see Job and his faithfulness and highlight it…wow!  Satan comes back with – you’ve blessed him of course he’s going to serve you and not curse you.  But, if you changed that and made life hard for him, he would change his heart’s focus.

¹² The Lord said to Satan, “Very well, then, everything he has is in your power, but on the man himself do not lay a finger.”

Then Satan went out from the presence of the Lord.

So here’s an amazing TRUTH we cannot forget.  God is in control and ONLY HE is Most High.  Satan has to ask permission to mess with Job.  He has to go to God and ASK that he is allowed to get involved in Job’s life.  For me this is a TRUTH we have to understand.  Satan cannot get involved without the Lord allowing him …. Bless!

The passage goes on to say:

Job 2:1-10 

2 On another day the angels^[a] came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan also came with them to present himself before him. ² And the Lord said to Satan, “Where have you come from?”

Satan answered the Lord, “From roaming throughout the earth, going back and forth on it.”

³ Then the Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil. And he still maintains his integrity, though you incited me against him to ruin him without any reason.”

⁴ “Skin for skin!” Satan replied. “A man will give all he has for his own life. ⁵ But now stretch out your hand and strike his flesh and bones, and he will surely curse you to your face.”

⁶ The Lord said to Satan, “Very well, then, he is in your hands; but you must spare his life.”

The Lord allows Satan now to touch Job’s body because Satan believes that in this moment, Job will curse God and turn his back on the Lord.

⁷ So Satan went out from the presence of the Lord and afflicted Job with painful sores from the soles of his feet to the crown of his head. ⁸ Then Job took a piece of broken pottery and scraped himself with it as he sat among the ashes.

⁹ His wife said to him, “Are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die!”

¹⁰ He replied, “You are talking like a foolish^[b] woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?”

In all this, Job did not sin in what he said.