“Your unfailing love, O Lord, is as vast as the heavens; your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds.  Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, your justice like the ocean depths….how precious is your unfailing love, O God!”

Psalm 36:5-7

So hard to believe that we started and finished our first week of school.  It seems like I finished treatment and then school started right away!  I guess it was close to that anyway!  Not how I would’ve planned it out.  I had planned to have the whole year all ready to go and tweaking what I wanted to tweak, and then having school start.  Meanwhile….I’m tweaking as I go!  That’s harder for me…not really how I normally like to operate.

I am thankful I’ve had some pretty good classes and I am starting to get to know some new students.  I can tell I am more tired than I normally have been and that the amount of thinking that I’ve been doing is more than what I did all summer…. course isn’t it like that for everyone?  I am thankful for the students and teachers who have been so kind to bless me with so much.  I am also just beyond blessed by all the people who are bringing meals.  It has been so wonderful to visit with people and hug people.  We have just loved each visit.

So right before school started, I was able to get a (wig) hair piece.  This piece is real hair and needs to be taken care of like all hair.  I was blessed to go to the salon and have it put on the Saturday before school started.  I was very thankful that we styled it and spent a couple hours there.  Tonight I took it off to wash it, oh my.  It’s a little more work than I was expecting.  It’s going to take a while for me to get used to working with it.

Abbey and Ashton have had to drive us to school.  Garrett is driving his own car since he has different things going on than we do.  The traffic at our school has been pretty heavy before and after as people are getting used to the construction and the craziness at school.  The funny part of our lives right now: my mind is a bit crazy, my school is a bit crazy because of the construction and my house is crazy right now.  I’m thankful for the help I’m getting from so many people.  The girls have done a great job driving me around and it’s so weird to not be able to drive.  I feel like I spend a lot of time trying to figure out who is going to drive me one place or another.  The hard part, my car is parked up by my classroom and during 7th period I go to soccer which isn’t close to my class.  The school has been really great to make sure someone can drive me down to my car.  The hard part is after practice…. walking to our car that is far away makes tired players….more tired!

A few weeks ago we finished thinking about the things around our house that needed to get done around here.  We have waited a while to get things done and one of our plans this summer had been to get the house past the 12 years we’ve owned it.  Since we started the summer with a different plan, we hadn’t done anything to plan for the stuff that needed to get done.  We decided to meet with our neighbor to get some stuff done and here we are now, trying to get some stuff repaired and ready for the year and make some updates…only problem is that you are living in chaos.  But, I am trying to be thankful as different things get done… because it’s been needed for a long time.

I’ve enjoyed my new club team and my high school girls.  During 7th period right now, I get the softball girls and my girls.  They also added some PE girls who lost their teacher.  So, I have a huge group 7th period.  It’s keeping me creative…. I guess.  Now that it’s my second year, it’s been so much more fun to hangout with the coaches up there.  I have many of them who are praying for me, and I am very blessed by that.  It’s so hard to believe as I look at the soccer girls that it’s been a year since we started getting ready for the state tourney.  But, here we are.  I’m super proud of the girls and ready for them to improve more and to nail it this year.  My club girls have been so kind and have just loved being together.  I’m blessed to know all these ladies and train them all.  They are all so full of love and desire to improve so much.  I love that.

We were supposed to have high school tryouts this past Friday, but it rained too much.  So now, we will have it this Tuesday.  I’m ready to get these tryouts over and get the year started!

I know many of you are following this wondering about my health.  I have been really blessed to feel as good as I have felt.  However, I think all of the treatment is catching up on me and making me a bit tired and less able to focus.  It’s hard to believe that I finished my treatment and then pretty much started school stuff.  It’s been a crazy week this week.  I had great plans to get everything ready for my classes and have less to plan, but my adventures this summer kept me from being focused on this.

We have been trying to figure out when our MRI would be and what we would do next.  Well, we got a call saying my MRI is going to be this Wednesday night at 4:45pm.  Please be in prayer for this.  I am asking for the internal swelling is down enough for them to see what’s going on and it’s accurate.  I am also asking for prayers for wisdom for the doctors and peace for us.  We are trusting the Lord that He has healed me already.  We have also gotten a call back from Duke about going there the end of the month.  Obviously this is a good thing and the people we are set to see there are some of the best.  It’s hard for me to think about missing some school and what all I will need to do before I can leave.  Please be praying about all of this for me.  Safe travels and great wisdom from the doctors.  Thank you

Also, please be in prayer for me to be able to manage my time better.  This summer was such a blessing to slow down and have time.  Now that school has started, we are busy going so many places.  The girls are playing less sports, but they are loving the extra time they get to spend and want to spend with their friends. Garrett is busy preparing for college next year, ugh and Nathan is trying to find himself something he really enjoys.  Prayers for these kiddos and Scott as we go in for appts and start doing more things again.

ESTHER

Esther was Jewish and the Xerxes decided that Esther was his favorite and announced she was queen over the other previous queen.  Things were looking good for Esther.  Until, Haman was brought in to work under the king.  Haman hated the Jews and did many things to show himself as important and powerful and to get rid of the Jewish people.  Esther, got worried about what was happening and she knew that she would need to go see the king and get him to change the laws Haman was introducing.  In Esther 4:15-17

The King had grown to love Esther that he allowed her to live.  She was brave enough and trusted God enough that no matter what happened going forward, the Lord had Esther right where she was supposed to be.

I love Esther.  I love how bold she was and how she was willing to stand against those that wanted to kill her and others.  She had everything going for her… but the Jewish people meant a lot to her…she didn’t let the fact that she was good to stop her from standing up for what was going on.  I am thankful for that.  Thankful that she was willing to be strong when she didn’t know the results.   She trusted that God would do what was best.  She just knew what needed to happen and went for it.

I hope and pray that we are like that.  We don’t read in here about her concerns or fears…only that she asked people to pray and she walked into a tough situation and she trusted the Lord to do what needed to be done.  She never wondered or questioned, she just did what needed to be done for the people.  I so want to learn to live with my eyes focused on the Lord and others and to not focus on myself every day.  Please pray for this for me.  As I am feeling more tired and more physically drained, I don’t want that to be my focus.  I want others to be my focus.  Lord help me do that!

“I will bless the Lord at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth.” 

Psalm 34:1

Last week of Summer!!!!  This has been a crazy week.  I finished treatment late last week… slowed down for the weekend…not really.  We decided to get some more stuff organized and put together before school started. It’s been crazy around here.  But it’s been a blessed week.

As a teacher, we have these professional development days that we go to before school starts.  We started ours on Monday with our open house.  I was very thankful to have Tami and Madison Draper and Garrett up there helping put my room together.  They did a great job putting up new things on the walls. I have a lot more parents and students come up and some old students came up to say hi.

So on Tuesday we got together with the whole district and got to work together and listen together…and sweat together 🙂  But it was so great to see so many people come up and introduce themselves to me and tell me they were reading this and praying.  What a sweet blessings.  I got to eat lunch with the ladies on my floor and share our time together.

Wednesday was early and we went to my church to hear from our Super Intendant Karen Walters and then they brought in Kevin Brown who was a great speaker and has a

great heart.

We enjoyed our time…except maybe getting out of the parking lot. Craziness!

Thursday was our last day and we were able to meet together play a fun game and get together with our little group to share struggles and goals we have for the year.  I love the ladies and Gent I work by.  We all teach different things but, they have always been super encouraging and helpful since I’m the Newby!

When I wasn’t at school I was blessed by so many things this week.

We were blessed by so many visitors and great things this week.

I loved that I got to run my first soccer practice, yeah!!!! Cannot believe it’s time!  I love the girls I get to train and just love their personalities and hearts.  They have been so wonderful and just love me so well.  When I got off the exit, it was so crazy to think for the rest of the summer I turned right at this light for treatment and as I sat here waiting for the light to turn green, I was turning the opposite way again and heading to soccer practice.  It was such a great feeling knowing that now I wouldn’t turn right every day, I would get to turn left and train my girls.  Love them!

I also got to spend the week seeing so many faces!  What a blessing it is to have people stop by the house and bring us food and spend time with us.  As usual the people that signed up are wonderful and have been so great to stop and spend time just sharing life with us.  We are so thankful for them!

Scott and Ann have been keeping up with my juicing which has been so great.  I think it has given me energy and kept me going pretty well.  I am thankful for all of the carrots and other veggies we get to drink!

It’s been fun watching the kids together this summer hanging out.  I am thankful for all of the games they play and laughing they do.  Sometimes they have to remember how to do it!  Also thankful for some home remodeling we’ve been able to start.  We were planning to get things updated when summer started and then we got a pause…. so now our sweet neighbor Phillip Rye is helping us get some projects done around here.

I’m going to have a new deck for Bible study.  This one has worn down and needed to be replaced.  So I’m excited for future quiet times with the Lord!

I also got a ton of pics from people who were wearing their HOPE WARRIOR shirts.  What a blessing!  I have a great extended family who loves to support and cheer each other on whatever we are dealing with!  I am very thankful that they took these photos.

Thank you everyone for spreading the Word of Hope around us with the shirts.  It does make me smile when I see people wearing them.  The Lord continues to amaze me!

Some ways to pray for me this first week of school:

• Of course lots of energy!  Great sleep this week
• For us to get out of the house on time in the mornings!
• For the week to run smoothly at school for me as I start my second year.  For me to be able to be focused on what I am doing
• For us to hear from the doctors about scheduling my scans
• Continued prayers for taste and sensation in my throat to go away

Well yesterday was my last day of Radiation.  How in the world did we finish this already?  I am so blessed.  I remember starting my treatment and thinking the end is so far away… So it’s amazing to see how fast we got here.  I am so blessed… Thank you.

I have been surrounded by so many wonderful people.  From my treatment team and everyone who has encouraged me during these 31 treatments.  In May I never envisioned this as part of my summer.  Never imagined that I would be battling cancer so soon in my life.  But – here we are.

When I walked back to the back yesterday, I got to hug one my fellow cancer patients John who is 90 years old.  He has been so sweet to me and has prayed with me.  He was a former fire fighter and I can tell he is wearing down.  Please pray for him.  He only has a few treatments left. Pray for energy and strength…I am thankful that we will be together for eternity… very thankful for that.

As I headed back I got to say hi to all of my people in the back and head to where I would take off my jewelry and then walk through the doors for my final treatment.  I took my hat and sunglasses off and walked over to the table.  I got up on the table and laid down and pulled my pink blanket up and adjusted my head so we could put the mask on.

Leslie and Gina put the mask on and turned my music up and said, “last time!”  I laid there for a bit listening to my worship music and I started to pray and as I thought about the staff there, tears started to roll down my cheek.  Course my next thought was, “am I going to get burned if my tears go the wrong direction…”  But God was good and kept my left eye from tearing too much…so I went on praying.

Having been there so many times I knew the movement of the machine and the table and the turns we would take… the number of times the machine would turn on and “shoot me…”  When I knew there was only two left and then one… the tears came again.  My mask was undone and taken off and it was hard for me to speak.  The crew has become so much a part of my life that I am blessed.  They were so sweet and got a soccer ball and they all signed it and wrote sweet messages on it.  It was a very blessed gift.  Love you guys and I am so thankful that we got to journey together through this battle!

When I finished we took a few family photos and I wanted to get the gifts for the team in the back that were out front.  I was in such a mission to get all the stuff and was wondering why no one was quickly moving to get the gifts and cookies…but when I went out of the hallway to grab the stuff WOW.  This is what I saw:

Such a great surprise to see all these girls I’ve coached and their families and some of the teens from church and their families.  So thankful.  I love to coach and I love teens.  They are just so amazing.  The staff said they had never had so many people out front.

Thankful that these guys were able to come up and give me a hug and so thankful for their parents who have been so supportive through all of my treatments and this time.  Love you guys and I know there were others that wanted to be there and I love you too!

I am very thankful for our shirts we had made.  The thought and heart behind the shirts are to bring hope to others because of the words on the shirt.  I never wanted the shirt to focus on me, I wanted them to point to the Lord because HE IS MY HOPE and HE HAS BEEN MY STRENGTH and SHIELD.  I am blessed by so many who desired to support my heart and ordered shirts.  We need this Truth in our world…there are so many hurting people.

I have been blessed by seeing so many of you wearing your shirts and I hope it gives you an opportunity to share HOPE and to  be HOPE to people the Lord will bring into your life.  I have been so blessed by sharing my story and His Love with others during this journey.  It has been just amazing.

So when we got done seeing everyone who came, I got to go give blood and see my oncologist.  Nothing too exciting here.  But, basically I am off of radiation and chemo today.  Radiation is done.  Chemo will continue every 28 days for 5 days. in a row.  So basically I am off of my chemo pill until the end August.  I will take 1/4 more of mg than I am taking now and then in September I double what I am taking now.   I will be asking for prayers as I up the dosage that the Lord just lines my stomach and continues to allow me to feel good.  Once I have doubled my dosage I will stay at that level.

So when am I getting scans? My scans will be determined by my doctors and will occur somewhere between 4-8 weeks from now.  Basically they want my brain to have time to not be swollen and allow all the radiation fragments to do what they were sent in there to do.  So please continue to pray that the side effects are not a part of my story and that the swelling goes down and tumors are gone!

I will have follow up appointments in September and continuing to take a couple of my pills but a lot less.  So YEAH!  We have done some research and have put our name in at Duke and MD Anderson if and when that becomes the next step.

Was so blessed with Great cookies from Robyn Wolf that turned out perfectly for the staff and all those crazy people in the lobby!  I think we set a new record on people in the waiting room.  My Sister-in-love sent me a sweet and perfect cup – Thanks Cindy and Erik and of course Landyn.

When we finished all our blood work and everything Nikki and I went to go find our friend Elizabeth and her family, I coached her daughter.  Her mother was coming up there for for her scan results…so we hung out for awhile and just laughed and shared life.  Love visiting with people.   I had to put this pic of Nikki in here.  She’s going to kill me…but, she has been out looking for scarves for me and this is one of the photos she sent me.  What would we do without technology for shopping!!! HA HA!

Some people have asked what I am going to do with my mask.  Well, the plan is to bring it to my soccer office as a reminder for me and to keep my players “level headed..”  Life could always be different…enjoy the moment and don’t complain.  I’m sure they will do what my kids did…they said they didn’t like it too much..ha!

Thank you everyone again for making my last treatment so memorable. The staff enjoyed it and I’m sure the patients there smiled as well.  I am a blessed lady!

As I have pressed on in this journey, the Lord has held me and held my head up.  It’s not me putting on a show, it’s Him living through me.  This has been so important because my kids have been watching me.  They have been warriors and stayed focused on the Lord because they have developed a relationship with Him and with Him as their foundation, this time has been a time I have seen Jesus in them.  As a parent, there is nothing I want more.  I am very thankful.  I pray that their faith stays strong and they do not follow the paths of many of the Kings of Judah….

Since i wrote so much already and had such an amazing day yesterday… you would think I would just say that’s it…But without the Word, I’m useless. 🙂

Looking at these kings and how some were hard hearted, some started out following the Lord and then going their own way, and then there were some who chose the Lord their whole lives and the Kingdom and people were trained in the ways of the Lord – and the results were amazing.

One Guy… and sometimes a kid were the ones who would bring great blessings on a kingdom or doom.  When we think about who our lives influence… do we consider our conduct to have consequences that could effect generations after us?  That’s serious stuff…but, it’s true.

King Hezekiah – you know I love him!  In 2 Chronicles 32 and 33 he was busy fortifying walls and preparing the city against the Assyrians.  Here’s what he said starting in verse 7…

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged because of the king of Assyria and the vast army with him, for there is a greater power with us than with him. ⁸ With him is only the arm of flesh, but with us is the Lord our God to help us and to fight our battles.” And the people gained confidence from what Hezekiah the king of Judah said.

The Assyrian king sent letters to the people against Hezekiah and their “god” is how he saw the Lord God.  God was referred to as a normal god they served – nothing special.  This got Hezekiah and Isaiah praying to God… now I have to tell you when I read what came next I was like – “Lord sent this angel to me!”

²¹ And the Lord sent an angel, who annihilated all the fighting men and the commanders and officers in the camp of the Assyrian king. So he withdrew to his own land in disgrace. And when he went into the temple of his god, some of his sons, his own flesh and blood, cut him down with the sword.

So the arrogant king was killed by his own kids.  A king who thought he had it all, had nothing.  King Hezekiah became highly respected and many people sent him gifts.  But, then something happened….

²⁴ In those days Hezekiah became ill and was at the point of death. He prayed to the Lord, who answered him and gave him a miraculous sign. ²⁵ But Hezekiah’s heart was proud and he did not respond to the kindness shown him; therefore the Lord’s wrath was on him and on Judah and Jerusalem. ²⁶ Then Hezekiah repented of the pride of his heart, as did the people of Jerusalem; therefore the Lord’s wrath did not come on them during the days of Hezekiah.

Hezekiah had been living a great life with many blessings from the Lord.  Yet when he became ill and the Lord cared for him, he became a proud individual.  This should cause us to pause and think… is my heart one that is proud or humbled?  No matter what we are facing or going through… a proud heart does not please the Lord.  What I love to read though,  is that his conviction from his pridefulness changed his direction and he REPENTED!  Meaning he sought the Lord’s forgiveness.  And Got it.

When we choose to go against the Lord we have a choice to make… continue on and reap the consequences that WILL come or humble ourselves and repent and HE IS FAITHFUL and desires to FORGIVE US!  He doesn’t want His people punished or out of His presence.  He desires to BE with US and teach us and love us!

What I love is that the Lord loves us and desires to be with us.  He doesn’t wake up everyday and wonder how He can ruin our lives.  Our response to Him in our Heart and the growth that comes from their into our lives is life changing.  King Hezekiah could’ve thrown himself a party and celebrated his victories like HE was the victor, but he humbled himself when he got caught up in the fame and success.

We ALL need to live humbled lives that SCREAM out “we know Jesus and that’s how I can live this way…it’s not me!!!”  If you want to see what happens next read about Hezekiah’s son… Manasseh, he started weak and evil, but in the end it says he “finally realized that the Lord alone is God!”  He finally realized… it took going into enemy camp and being beat up and humiliated… let us pray that our hearts are never that stone cold that we endure that much before we finally turn to the Lord.  But, if that’s where we are… you are NEVER TOO FAR gone to NOT be LOVED by the Lord himself.  Reach out to Him and let Him forgive you and fill you.  Your life will never be the same.

If you all will be praying for what I mentioned above that would be great!!!! Blessings Warriors!

Tshirts are in!!!! So blessed and I love them.  My mom got her’s and sent me a pic from her deck today.  

We had a pretty busy weekend.  My parents came in and visited so that was fun.  We were busy trying to get to closets and do things that needed to get done before the school year starts.  It’s amazing how much I have really slowed down this summer compared to my normal self and there was a lot that was on the list to get done this summer.  I have had to solicit help from many people including my parents and Scott’s to get some of it done.  Oh well, it will still be here next summer to accomplish right?  You guys have filled up my card scrapbook that I’ve had to move on to another one!  What a sweet blessing…

FAMILY PHOTO AFTER CHURCH ON SUNDAY

I have also been looking at boxes in the basement – insert crazy lips and eyes – I told Scott we have got to commit to going through one to two boxes a week.  We have not done a good job keeping up with all of our “stuff” from the almost 20 years we’ve been together and from before that our parents so graciously gave us – Help! We also haven’t moved in a long time so, we have boxes and boxes of stuff!  So, I have sent many car trips to Good Will or the garbage bin.  I promise I’m not nesting and I am not pregnant!!!  Some of my most fun stuff to look at has been looking at my high school soccer stuff.  So many great memories.  I tried to look through some slides…not very easy.  Scott and I went through some old VHS tapes from when we worked together in Quincy.  We have newscasts and game broadcasts on tape.  It makes you feel pretty old….ha!

So something really cool.  I have to admit..not a super BIG fan of having no hair.  I’ve learned to live under a hat most days or with a scarf.  Now here’s something…I can’t find the right size scarf anywhere.  I don’t know if I’m not looking at the right spot or what.  IF you know of a good place to buy scarfs, please let me know.  Anyway, back to what matters…. I was looking in the mirror at the back of my head and I noticed I have finger prints on head.  Actually I have fingers on the back of my head!  I thought Lord, you have been holding my head just like we have prayed and here’s the evidence.  Guys, isn’t that just awesome!  I realize God’s hands are waaaaaayyyyyy bigger but, he gave me something tangible I could see.  Amazing…

My head has responded pretty well in the treatment as far as the skin on my head goes.  I am very thankful for that…. Shout out to my girl Sarah Wilson and her Arbonne stuff she gave me!!!!!

I had the blessed opportunity to spend time with a dear person in my life Necole Kreie.  I’ve known her and her family for a long time.  Her three kids had been in my student ministry and she and I, along with Scott, all sang and served together on the music ministry team.  We had a fun time catching up, laughing and sharing.  Thank you Necole for the meal and the time invested.  So much fun.

Let me just say that the girls have become pretty good drivers the past week.  They had

my mom and dad going everywhere and have become more confident and so that makes me excited.  Considering that they have to drive me to school in a couple weeks!  Good seeing my parents and thankful they were willing to come down and help around the house and give my in-laws a break!

“O Lord, do not stay far away!  You are my strength; come quickly to my aid…..I will Praise you in the great assembly.  I will fulfill my vows in the presence of those who worship you…For Royal Power Belongs to the Lord.  He rules all the nations.”

Psalms 22:19, 25 & 28 

In reading about all of these kings in 2 Chronicles it’s amazing to see how each started out so differently.  Even though they were usually raised by the previous king, how they ended up or what they decided wasn’t determined always (usually) by their fathers.  

Uzziah became king of Judah after Amaziah…Amaziah had turned from God and did his own thing.  He started out following the Lord, but it said “not wholeheartedly…” He became very defiant and worshed other idols, even with clear direction that he would be punished.  His heart was so hard, that no amount of pleading and trying to convince him.  He wanted to do things his own way.  He ended up being assassinated.

His son Uzziah was crowned king when he was 16 years old.  At this age and what he saw from his father, you might think he would go his own way.  Yet the Bible tells us twice that he was 16 when he took over and in verse 5 it says…

“⁵ He sought God during the days of Zechariah, who instructed him in the fear^[b] of God. As long as he sought the Lord, God gave him success.”

He had people, especially the prophet Zechariah,  pouring into him.  He was humble enough to listen to what Zechariah suggested and because of this – HE SUCCEEDED.  The things he set up to do, the new towns he build – he was given success.  He defeated many armies ……

⁸ The Ammonites brought tribute to Uzziah, and his fame spread as far as the border of Egypt, because he had become very powerful.

Uzziah was prepared and God had given him everything he needed to succeed…

¹¹ Uzziah had a well-trained army, ready to go out by divisions according to their numbers as mustered by Jeiel the secretary and Maaseiah the officer under the direction of Hananiah, one of the royal officials. ¹² The total number of family leaders over the fighting men was 2,600.¹³ Under their command was an army of 307,500 men trained for war, a powerful force to support the king against his enemies. ¹⁴ Uzziah provided shields, spears, helmets, coats of armor, bows and slingstones for the entire army. ¹⁵ In Jerusalem he made devices invented for use on the towers and on the corner defenses so that soldiers could shoot arrows and hurl large stones from the walls. His fame spread far and wide, for he was greatly helped until he became powerful.

AHHHH BUT – Dang it!  He decided to do what his father had done.  He had rested for years, had success, life was good and HE DETERMINDED THAT HE WAS THE REASON FOR ALL  OF THE THEIR SUCCESS.

¹⁶ But after Uzziah became powerful, his pride led to his downfall. He was unfaithful to the Lord his God, and entered the temple of the Lord to burn incense on the altar of incense.¹⁷ Azariah the priest with eighty other courageous priests of the Lord followed him in. ¹⁸ They confronted King Uzziah and said, “It is not right for you, Uzziah, to burn incense to the Lord. That is for the priests, the descendants of Aaron, who have been consecrated to burn incense. Leave the sanctuary, for you have been unfaithful; and you will not be honored by the Lord God.”

¹⁹ Uzziah, who had a censer in his hand ready to burn incense, became angry. While he was raging at the priests in their presence before the incense altar in the Lord’s temple, leprosy^[c]broke out on his forehead. ²⁰ When Azariah the chief priest and all the other priests looked at him, they saw that he had leprosy on his forehead, so they hurried him out. Indeed, he himself was eager to leave, because the Lord had afflicted him.

Uzziah had leprosy until the day he died.  Here Uzziah had started strong, faithful, ready for battle and led his people well.  And then he got proud…of himself.  He forgot where his blessings had come from and how he was able to do the things he was doing.  We see this a lot today don’t we?   Maybe we do this ourselves from time time or more times than we care to admit.  Success occurs and before we know it, WE are taking credit and we start living without including God and then before we know it, we live like He’s not even a part of our lives.  Some of us continue and decide WE will be our own god and we puff out our chests and live like we are important and all that matters.  

Success is a great feeling.  I have experience the “highs of succeeding” in many areas of life.  But, if we aren’t careful, we start to see ourselves as the reason we have succeeded and we blow ourselves up into something that we are not.  And bottom line, God is so good to bring us and draw us back, so we can experience REAL living with HIM!

It’s easy for us to read these passages and think a couple of things:

• Am I going through a bad time because God is punishing me?
• Life is good for me so God must be ok with where I am at!

These are hard and almost dangerous questions for us to spend time focusing on.  Because the focus is on US !!!!  As people, this is our problem and downfall.  We are not the focus, GOD IS!  He is working all the time and desires, DESIRES, to use us in many different situations.  If God is our focus, then when our circumstances change, God remains the same – HE NEVER CHANGES.  And I have been so blessed by this Truth this year.  I don’t know what is in my future, but I know who has it!  He has given me everything I have needed and has surrounded me and carried me.  He has been my focus and has been MORE than I could’ve imagined.  No matter our circumstance, our heart should be focused on HIM and Choosing to live for Him no matter what is going on around us….because that can change in an instant.  It did for me.  One of the healthiest people I know, no problems, never had a headache, never had issue… BUT in a moment it changed.  BUT GOD never did.  He is my sun – my focus.  He has given me peace and I have seen Him do too much, that it’s faith strengthening for sure.

Take the time to be with HIM no matter your circumestance.  Ask Him to speak to you, seek Him and He will be found.  Don’t give up…. He is worth it!

As I get ready to go back to school, I am excited to see students, teachers and get away from the treatment cycle.  But, there are still so many unknowns.  I was planning for the state champtionship this time last year and determined to give my all to my teams and my students.  I was blessed by such a great year.  I am thankful to be given the opportunity and the students who will be in my classes.

Please pray for me for the following:

• I have TWO more treatments.  I am praying against tiredness and things that come physically.  I have been so blessed and I am thankful that the Lord has sustained my energy and allowed me to get some of the things around the house organized and ready for school
• Pray that as I prepare for OPEN HOUSE that I have everything I need and I know what I need to share.
• I know many of you have been and are already praying for clear scans.  I do not know when I will be scheduled for my scans and what comes next.  I will be seeing my oncologist Thursday and getting blood drawn.  We are expecting a long day with setting up what’s next.  We are not anticipating a scan for at least 3 weeks and could go a couple months.  
• Pray for this continual on and off sensation in my throat and mouth.  Pray I can continue to be joyful and just BE with the Lord in these short moments.
• Pray for wisdom from my doctors on what to do next.

Thanks Warriors!

It has been a pretty crazy week.  To think that I have only 4 more days – 4 more days of treatment is crazy.  Where did the time go?  I have to say, I am probably just now starting to feel some of the symptoms or drain of the treatment.  I am a little more tired sometimes and having an acid type feeling that comes up and burns every once in a while.  I am thankful that the Lord continues to fight for me and has held me up each and every day.  Thank you for the continued prayers.  Now, I am starting to think about life beyond my getting up and going to treatment every day and waiting to come back the next.  I have been so blessed by the people up there and their care for me, that I will miss them and the laughs we’ve had.  Love you guys!

My parents have been in town all week so they have come up to treatments and been able to see what all goes on up there.  It’s a blessing to meet new people and to hear their stories … it’s also great to give God the glory and to see how many people up there are focused on Him during this time.  It’s like a mini church sermon and praise and worship session.

Took this pic this morning of my chemo pill.  So, some have asked and I probably haven’t explained too well… but I take a chemo pill about 45 minutes before radiation and then I also take the pill on the weekends.  When I am done with radiation I’ll get a break from the pill until after the scans and then more than likely will take the pill once a month for a week until ???? don’t know that.  But yes I have to wear a glove to handle this pill.

This week has been a little crazy!  Girls were at soccer camp and came home and crashed!  They loved UCA and hanging with their buds and meeting new people.  Nathan was a chatty box this week-probably because girls were gone.  He was busy talking to me about everything, he likes to come out on the deck and hear some of what I’m reading and then unpack everything he’s thinking about.  His biggest thing all week was he wanted to cook me breakfast.  He didn’t understand I get up earlier than him to be with the Lord and I eat early so I can stay on schedule.  Well he wanted to make me fried eggs, so he made me and my dad fried eggs one morning.  So sweet.  Grandpa said he would take him for ice cream if he did 4 chores, so he was busy doing all kinds of things.  He and my mom organized a closet and put together all of the baby puzzles.  My mom made Kale “chips” and Nathan actually tried them, didn’t like them thus the face that looks like he’s choking, but he tried them.  He’s a crazy little kid.

Also so blessed by so many visitors bringing dinner and stopping by to chat.  Love seeing and being blessed by so many.  Thank you all so much for the food and the prayers.  Had fun seeing the Lorios and the Humphreys – beautiful flowers (below) – I don’t always remember to take pics!  Thankfully Scott reminds me when he’s around.  We were blessed by our neighbors the Greens – no picture 🙁 and Nathan has been running around wild with his little buddy (their son) Soren.

Some new things this week…. SOCCER Training begins….school organization is about official….Hope Warrior shirts are in….treatment ends…..Yeah!

“Let my teaching fall like rain and my words descend like dew, like showers on new grass, like abundant rain on tender plants.”

Deuteronomy 32:2

I have to admit, every time I sit and read the Bible I am always sitting there thinking I could write about this…and then I move on to the next book of the Bible I’m reading and I think, wow blow me away.  I wish I could just sit and talk, share and grow with each of you everyday.  You all have no idea…and I have no idea who all is reading this… but you have encouraged me in this fight and kept me focused where I need to be.  Not on me, but on Him and allowing Him to speak whatever He desires through me.  I am blessed – blessed.

Reading in 2 Chronicles about King Jehoshaphat who was King of Judah who started out following after the Lord hard.  After war and time he was told that the Lord was angry with him because he was helping the wicked and hating those who loved the Lord.  He could’ve responded any way he wanted to, this seer that came to him could’ve been killed on the spot.  But, when the seer came to King J and told him what was about to happen, this is what he did…

“Jehoshaphat lived inJerusalem, but he went out among the people, traveling from Beersheba to the hill country of Ephraim, encouraging the people to return to the Lord, the God of their ancestors.”  He went out and appointed judges and told them how to judge and to “Fear the Lord”….These were his instructions to them: “You must always act in the fear of the Lord, with faithfulness and an undivided heart” He said that in vs 7 and 9. 

What is so encouraging and challenging to me about King J here in these passages, there are so many of us who don’t respond the way he did.  He responded humbly and ready to move forward in God’s will.  He didn’t make excuses on why certain things should be done or why he wasn’t following the Lord.  He listened and then obeyed right away.  How often am I guilty of talking myself into why I did things a certain way or why I am not walking in the Lord’s will at the time because I want to do what I want to do?  King J got the news and set about changing what he was doing and what was going on in the entire kingdom.

After this a few kingdoms declared war on King  J and he was told that more armies were coming.  In chapter 20 it says he was terrified and he begged the Lord for guidance and commanded that everyone begin fasting.  People came to Jerusalem from everywhere because they wanted to seek the Lord’s help.

King J stands in front of the people and says

“Lord, the God of our ancestors, are you not the God who is in heaven? You rule over all the kingdoms of the nations. Power and might are in your hand, and no one can withstand you.⁷ Our God, did you not drive out the inhabitants of this land before your people Israel and give it forever to the descendants of Abraham your friend? ⁸ They have lived in it and have built in it a sanctuary for your Name, saying, ⁹ ‘If calamity comes upon us, whether the sword of judgment, or plague or famine, we will stand in your presence before this temple that bears your Name and will cry out to you in our distress, and you will hear us and save us.’

I love so much about this heart wrenching real prayer.  He was humble and brought back what King J knew was true about God, what He had already done in the past.  And then in the end the TRUST in knowing that no matter what we see or have happen YOU WILL SAVE US.  As the armies got closer and the fighting seemed to be close at hand….

¹⁴ Then the Spirit of the Lord came on Jahaziel son of Zechariah, the son of Benaiah, the son of Jeiel, the son of Mattaniah, a Levite and descendant of Asaph, as he stood in the assembly.

¹⁵ He said: “Listen, King Jehoshaphat and all who live in Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the Lord says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s. ¹⁶ Tomorrow march down against them. They will be climbing up by the Pass of Ziz, and you will find them at the end of the gorge in the Desert of Jeruel.¹⁷ You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.’”

They are told not to be afraid twice and that they will not have to even fight.  The Lord would be with them.  Now here’s where I would’ve liked to have had a front row seat….

²⁰ Early in the morning they left for the Desert of Tekoa. As they set out, Jehoshaphat stood and said, “Listen to me, Judah and people of Jerusalem! Have faith in the Lord your God and you will be upheld; have faith in his prophets and you will be successful.” ²¹ After consulting the people, Jehoshaphat appointed men to sing to the Lord and to praise him for the splendor of his^[c] holiness as they went out at the head of the army, saying:

²² As they began to sing and praise, the Lord set ambushes against the men of Ammon and Moab and Mount Seir who were invading Judah, and they were defeated.

Can you imagine the singers dancing and shouting and no one fighting and the Lord himself set ambushes to fight God’s enemies.  They all returned and were overjoyed because they had been given victory by God, from their enemies.

When I think about how amazing this experience must have been, I can’t discount how I’ve seen God do amazing things in my life where He has done all the work and battled for me and I have just been changed through it.  This journey I am on is one of them.  I am thankful that God stands and fights and that He has promised to take down my enemies and all I have been asked to do is believe.

My mom was looking through her summer Bible study while she was here todayand sharing with me where she read verses or quotes that made her think of me.  She read me this one from a book by Oswald Chambers quoted by F. Bruce and I thought, yes guys – that is my heart’s desire.

“My goal is God Himself, not joy, nor peace, Nor even blessing, but Himself, my God; ‘Tis His to lead me there, not mine, but His – ‘At any cost, dear Lord, by any road.'”

Here are some ways you can pray for me:

• Pray that my fatigue will not increase and I am asking God to fight against it and allow me to press forward in what He’s called me to 
• Pray for good sleep in the next few weeks before school
• Pray that I am focused on what I need to do so I feel ready to begin
• Pray that in these last 4 sessions of radiation that the Lord eliminates what remains – only God!
• Pray that I am given God appointments the final days I’m at CARTI here to honor Him and share His glory

Bless you warriors!

It has been a busy but crazy few days.  I am thankful because I down to single digits for treatment left.  It is also the reality that I am down to less days to target those specific tumors with radiation.  I am completely trusting the Lord to remove these tumors completely.  I have 7 days left….7! Can you believe it?  When we started with 31 it seemed like it would last forever and here we are about to finish up.  As I started thinking about 7, I was really focused on the fact that 7 is God’s perfect number.  Then I really thought, why not take a Bible verse for each day to claim for that treatment as we finish up?!

I know I have an army beside, in front of, behind me who will pray with me these promises and Truths for each day:

Wednesday – Isaiah 53:5 “And by His stripes we are healed.”

Thursday – Exodus 15:26 ” I am the Lord that Heals you.”

Friday – Exodus 23:25-26 “I will take sickness away from the midst of you and the number of your days I will fulfill.”

Monday – Psalm 107:20 “I sent my Word and healed you and delivered you from your destruction.”

Tuesday – Psalm 103:3 “I heal all diseases.”

Wednesday – Ephesians 6:3 “I want it to be well with you and I want you to live long on the earth.”

Thursday – Matthew 4:23 “I heal all manner of sickness and all manner of disease.” 

Thank you everyone for walking this journey with me and standing firm on God’s Word with me.  I am Blessed.

We have so enjoyed the opportunities to spend time with people as they have brought us dinner the last few days .  It has been so great to catch up, laugh and see wonderful caring people at the house.

We were blessed with a restful weekend.  I went and got new glasses!  This was a big deal because for the last long time – who knows how long, I’ve been duck taping my glasses together because I didn’t want to go get glasses.  I decided that the duck tape needed to go and I went with my favorite soccer color – blue! Was also blessed by Rhonda McKinney with a new hat – perfect right? Where would we be without HOPE?

We were able to drop the girls off at soccer camp at the University of Central Arkansas.  I was thankful they had other girls from their teams there so they weren’t going alone, the hugs I got were a blessing too!  Ready to coach again….Hard to believe that in 3 short years it will be their turn…. where does time go?

We also had family drop in and visit for a few hours.  Wasn’t long, but it was so great to be able to see my cousins Angie and Mike and their sweet little ones.  They dropped through on their way home to Peoria, IL.  We were able to visit and then had to go Chick-fil-a to see Garrett at work.  My parents had just come to town so we were able to see them there too and hang out until it was time for bed!  Thanks Mike and Angie for making the stop -so good to see you guys and thanks for joining us on our nightly walk! And thanks to the teens (Anna, Caleb and Zach) we know who were nice enough to take all the pics!

So yes, it’s been a busy few days for us!  But, what a blessing.  Loving my time with each person that I get to spend time with!

AHHHH can I just rest in this today?  What PEACE here – If God is on my team, no one else stands a chance!  What’s awesome about this? I know He and I are on the same team and so I can have JOY and HOPE that bubbles over.  Thank you Jesus. Thank you.  I love being able to stare at this everyday in my kitchen be reminded of the fact that nothing is ever wasted.  God has a plan and purpose in everything I go through.  Bless – what PEACE!

In reading the end of Romans 8 today I was ready to battle.  I have shared with you my desire to pray for you all especially in treatment.  As I pray each day, I really desire to seek the Lord’s will as I am bold and ask for Him to intercede for me and for others.

²⁶ In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. ²⁷ And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

²⁸ And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who^[i] have been called according to his purpose.

What a blessing to know that the very Spirit of God intercedes for us as we pray.  We don’t need to “worry” that we pray “good enough” or have the “right words,” we have been given help through the Spirit.  Paul goes on to remind us that if we are under Christ we have nothing else to worry about.  We are under the banner of the maker of the universe!

³¹ What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? ³² He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 

When I stop and really think about the fact that God Himself was willing to allow His own son to die… for me…. for you.  That’s mind blowing.  And because God was willing to do something that hard, for us -He gave us His son – we can rest in knowing that His desire is FOR us.

³³ Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. ³⁴ Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. ³⁵ Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ³⁶ As it is written:

³⁷ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

No matter what we face going forward.  We can claim these verses and know that when we put our trust in Christ, choosing to live our lives for Him, NOTHING we do or that happens in the world will ever separate us from what Jesus already accomplished on the cross.  Remember that.  Don’t allow failure or others speak the lies of “God could never love you or use you….”  NOT TRUE.  You have a purpose and God has a plan for your life that is unique and special.  Ask Him to show you and live faithfully for Him, you’ll see Him work in ways you never thought possible.

Here are some other ways you guys can pray for me:

• I am coming off of my steroids slowly… so, I know it will mean less “extra” energy – prayers for my body to adjust to this and also against any swelling that may want to happen – I still want energy!
• Prayers I can get all these toxins out of my body as I am being hit by them daily
• Prayers for me as I start focusing on what I have going on in the next couple of weeks – school/soccer
• Prayers for good vision still and no head “Aches”
• Prayers for clear scans when they get scheduled!

It has been a really busy few days.  So still doing radiation everyday at 11:30am.  Love my people up there.  Blessed to see some “graduate” and move on and now even today, the reminder that this battle goes on.  There were new faces up there today just starting and I can remember wondering the first few days, what have I gotten myself in to.   I’m praying for these first timers or second first timers.  It’s a hard battle and the longer the battle goes, the harder it is to BE STILL and Believe.

I want to thank all of you again for allowing me the opportunity to pray with and for you.  It allows me focus and direction in the morning, during treatment, when the Lord reminds me during the day and at night when I am up.  I have been truly blessed to bring these requests to the Lord in confidence and in battle against Satan.  I have to write everything down…or forget it I won’t remember!

We have had a super busy week.  It sort of hit me this week that school starts soon!  I feel like the kids… course I’ve always been a “I could do without school messing up what I’m doing” kind of person.  But, this is life.  School must begin and everyday I take a link off of my cancer battle chain I am basically saying – school is one day closer- at least that’s what the kids say.

I knew that I wanted to get into the soccer office in the field house.  Last year, didn’t have a whole lot of time to think about how the office could be or should be.  Coach Friday, who shares the office with me, said “do whatever you want I don’t care”.  So I did.  I roped my father-in-law and my family, plus Nikki Funk into getting up there for a couple days and cleaning it out, throwing things away and getting it ready for the year.  And I LOVE IT!!!! Not all the way done, but it is soooo much better.  I left room for more trophies and It was good for my WHAT’s NEXT thought process, because now….I’m a little more ok with school starting.  Let’s not talk about my classroom yet 🙂 . hat a blessing it was to meet them.

 I was also able to meet the Gomez family in my renovations.  They sold me a bench to put in the office and we shared our relationship with the Lord and fellow battles with cancer.  What a blessing it was to meet them.

I was also able to get to see some of my club girls. So, I coach at the high school, but also have been a club soccer coach forever. This year I coach girls that are sophomores and juniors  – YIKES! So I have some girls from my high school team and then I have these other amazing ladies that I get to pour into and meet that I just love.  It made it interesting for me this year as a high school coach watching them play.  I have to admit I was coaching them in my head, under my breath and wondering why they just did what they did and me saying “oh that was a good ball…” It’s fun to to just enjoy the game sometimes.

Besides hanging out with these ladies, I was blessed by so many others.  At treatment this week…since I did the bald thing, I thought maybe I should look into a wig or something for school.  I hadn’t really considered that my hair would be in shock for awhile and who knows when it will decide to grow back.  So I made a trip at CARTI to their wig and other hair stuff room and I met these sweet teens.    What a blessing that they choose to volunteer up there and try and help those of us who have no idea what’s going on!  Ella Beth and Kate are students at Little Rock Christian Academy and blessed me as we all laughed at what was happening up on my head!  Did I get a wig – no, not yet, but I got a cute scarf!

I was also blessed to see my sweet warrior friend Sarah who is also battling brain cancer and she and I share the same Spirit of the Lord so we just are soul sisters every time we get the chance to speak or see each other.  In all her deals she, blessed me by knowing I may need a softer head and gave me some products to help me with the skin damage of radiation.  Thanks Girl!

Nathan was super excited to get a special breakfast dinner from Ms Vaughan, who works at our church and her parents.  He has really enjoyed watching people stop by and of course seeing what other people cook.  Seriously,  been so blessed to be fed by so many people.  It really is a highlight of my day to just spend time talking with people who are praying for us and investing in my health.  THANK YOU WARRIORS!

I am super excited to get my artwork from my good friend Sarah Henry of Redeemed Home Goods.  I asked her to paint what Abbey had done and I cannot wait to pick this piece up from her and get it hung up!

“I will cry to God Most High, to God who accomplishes ALL THINGS FOR ME.” Psalm 57:2

I have to admit, I am reading a lot of books right now.  Some are devotionals, some are words of scripture, some are from people who have walked in the dark valleys, some are daily Biblical challenges and I am enjoying each one.  As I read through one of these Bible Studies it took me to the book of Job.  And I was very thankful for the time spent in there.  The book of Job has always been a very amazing exchange to me and here where I am now, I was further reminded that as I pray very fervently over each request for others and for myself that we are in a very REAL battle.  Satan desires to take us down and out and that is the Truth.  BUT GOD…..people!  We have GOD, El Elyon – THE MOST HIGH with US!  And in reading these very familiar passages to me again, in this time, God really affirmed and spoke to me.

Job 1:6-12 

⁶ One day the angels^[a] came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan^[b]also came with them. ⁷ The Lord said to Satan, “Where have you come from?”

Satan answered the Lord, “From roaming throughout the earth, going back and forth on it.”

I am not going to assume we all know what’s going on here.  It is believed that Job may be the first book of the Bible written and Job was an upright God worshipping, believing person.  He was very successful and had a blessed family.  Everything was going good for Job.  Satan was created as a beautiful angel of God – who CHOSE to rebel against God-becoming an enemy of God.

⁸ Then the Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil.”

⁹ “Does Job fear God for nothing?” Satan replied. ¹⁰ “Have you not put a hedge around him and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land. ¹¹ But now stretch out your hand and strike everything he has, and he will surely curse you to your face.”

So as Satan is roaming around the earth, the Lord points out Job.  Can you imagine having the Lord say, “There is no one on earth like him…” For the Lord to see Job and his faithfulness and highlight it…wow!  Satan comes back with – you’ve blessed him of course he’s going to serve you and not curse you.  But, if you changed that and made life hard for him, he would change his heart’s focus.

¹² The Lord said to Satan, “Very well, then, everything he has is in your power, but on the man himself do not lay a finger.”

Then Satan went out from the presence of the Lord.

So here’s an amazing TRUTH we cannot forget.  God is in control and ONLY HE is Most High.  Satan has to ask permission to mess with Job.  He has to go to God and ASK that he is allowed to get involved in Job’s life.  For me this is a TRUTH we have to understand.  Satan cannot get involved without the Lord allowing him …. Bless!

The passage goes on to say:

Job 2:1-10 

2 On another day the angels^[a] came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan also came with them to present himself before him. ² And the Lord said to Satan, “Where have you come from?”

Satan answered the Lord, “From roaming throughout the earth, going back and forth on it.”

³ Then the Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil. And he still maintains his integrity, though you incited me against him to ruin him without any reason.”

⁴ “Skin for skin!” Satan replied. “A man will give all he has for his own life. ⁵ But now stretch out your hand and strike his flesh and bones, and he will surely curse you to your face.”

⁶ The Lord said to Satan, “Very well, then, he is in your hands; but you must spare his life.”

The Lord allows Satan now to touch Job’s body because Satan believes that in this moment, Job will curse God and turn his back on the Lord.

⁷ So Satan went out from the presence of the Lord and afflicted Job with painful sores from the soles of his feet to the crown of his head. ⁸ Then Job took a piece of broken pottery and scraped himself with it as he sat among the ashes.

⁹ His wife said to him, “Are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die!”

¹⁰ He replied, “You are talking like a foolish^[b] woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?”

In all this, Job did not sin in what he said.

EEEEKKKKKK!  So excited to finally be able to write!  So much has gone on the last couple of days… and then nothing has gone on at the same time!

Biggest news probably:  I chopped off all my hair and shaved it all off.  I really wondered if I would have to make this decision or not.  I heard phrases like “your hair will thin where we are shooting you with radiation.” “you could lose some hair…”  “we just have to wait and see..”  Well we waited and we saw and I just couldn’t risk being slapped with an arrest warrant because clumps of my hair were found in some crime area or on a dead body.  It was a daily battle: me vs my hair.  I decided to be done with it.

So it was time.  I have to say, I struggled a bit with this idea.  I like the idea of pulling my hair up and being able to look like a “woman” and that includes doing my hair.  But, as Scott finished getting the rest of my hair off tonight, I just told the Lord “this is your plan and you have a purpose and darn it – this is the head you made and you said it was good.  So, let’s do this. Be glorified even in this!”

We had the most blessed weekend away at Lake Ouachita with the family.  Our summer travel plans had to be changed and I decided that it would be nice to be able to just go to the lake for a couple of days and relax.  It was a sweet weekend.  The kids had a good time and we were just able to just “be” without other things going on.  The good news/weird news is that we didn’t have great cell service blessing/harder living LOL so that really through all of us off.  Haven’t we just become too dependent on technology???!!!!  I wanted to blog 100 times and had to be positioned hanging with one foot off the deck and my hand on my head to get a bar going…so I just really tried to post a couple things at the 1 min opening I was given on my phone – ha!  So instead I spent time reading and really just soaking in the Lord for a couple hours every morning.  Loved my time with Him.  One of the blessings through this journey is being able to see my kids laugh as I laugh, dig into God’s Word and live to trust Him in EVEN in this.  There is no greater joy for me – no soccer win, no academic achievement, NOTHING will ever mean more to me than what I am seeing from them.  Praise God!  Here are some of our fun memories:

Was blessed by many people the last few days!  Can I just remember to always get photos!  One of my sweet girls Hannah from my club team came up to get bracelets and waited on me to surprise me after treatment Friday.  Best hugs are from my girls.  Her family has been such a blessing and faithful prayer warriors for me.  Very thankful for their joy and love.

I had a great surprise today.  I got a message from a guy who used to ref make games and kept me in line when I thought “the game” was so important – kids were probably 10 Ha!  Anyway, Keith was always an excellent ref and I enjoyed his interaction with the players and me.  I met up with he and his wife Terri.  Here’s how the Lord works: Terri and I have never met, yet she knew one day, God told her to make me a quilt.  It is so awesome!  She has taken some of the verses off of my blogs and stitched them onto the quilt.  Today we got to hug and talk about what all the Lord is doing and I was blessed.  God is so great and good!

The Chumleys came over and brought us dinner.  Nikki and I have worked on soccer club stuff before and we are blessed to go to the same church.  Also, Kate is my little artist- and future hornet :).  Look at what she brought me!  So awesome!  Love it!

“FOR FROM HIM AND THROUGH HIM AND TO HIM ARE ALL THINGS. TO HIM BE THE GLORY FOREVER. AMEN”  Romans 11:36

In the last few days I have read so many things!  It’s hard for me to really hone in on what the Lord would want me to share…. His Word is just too amazing!

But, David…Ahhhh he is my kind of person.  All out worship and dedicated to fight for whatever the Lord calls him to.  Was he perfect, no. Infact he disobeyed God quite a few times. But, he came back to him humbled and ready to follow the Lord’s next steps.

He had brought back the Ark of the Covenent and was faithful to do the things the Lord required by His people to pay for their sin.  David loved music.  Of course we remember that he played the Harp even at a young age, but as you read through Pslams you can see his passion and desire to worship through song was evident.

1 Chronicles 16:41-43

⁴⁰ to present burnt offerings to the Lord on the altar of burnt offering regularly, morning and evening, in accordance with everything written in the Law of the Lord, which he had given Israel. ⁴¹ With them were Heman and Jeduthun and the rest of those chosen and designated by name to give thanks to the Lord, “for his love endures forever.” ⁴² Heman and Jeduthun were responsible for the sounding of the trumpets and cymbals and for the playing of the other instruments for sacred song. The sons of Jeduthun were stationed at the gate.

⁴³ Then all the people left, each for their own home, and David returned home to bless his family.

I love that David understood that he was a dad and husband and he had an obligation to BLESS his family-even while doing important things, like ruling a kingdom.  I imagine David going home enjoying his family, kissing everyone good night and walking aroud the palace.  As he gazes out over the kingdom a thought occurs to him and he summons Nathan the prophet.  David shares with Nathan that he thinks it’s not right that he is in such a palace and that Ark of the Lord’s covenant is in a tent – something big needs to be built.  Nathan tells David to do whatever he thinks should be done because the Lord is with him.

The Lord appears to Nathan later that same night to tell Nathan something else… The Lord tells Nathan …

David’s response is one of humility and honoring of the Lord.  WHO AM I that you would do all of this?  It wasn’t about David ever, his heart was focused on what the Lord desired and he never questioned it.  He knew the greatness of God and trusted and submitted to His will, not David’s will. 

²³ “And now, Lord, let the promise you have made concerning your servant and his house be established forever. Do as you promised, ²⁴ so that it will be established and that your name will be great forever. Then people will say, ‘The Lord Almighty, the God over Israel, is Israel’s God!’ And the house of your servant David will be established before you.

²⁵ “You, my God, have revealed to your servant that you will build a house for him. So your servant has found courage to pray to you. ²⁶ You, Lord, are God! You have promised these good things to your servant. ²⁷ Now you have been pleased to bless the house of your servant, that it may continue forever in your sight; for you, Lord, have blessed it, and it will be blessed forever.”

God is faithful and David just declares it here.  Do as you say and people will say these things…because it WILL happen.  I won’t see it with my own eyes, but this is what WILL happen because God is trustworthy and David knew it.  When God promises, He always fulfills. 

David went on after this to secure the kingdom and battle many other kings.  We are told twice in 18:6 and 18:13 that the Lord made David victorious wherever he went.  David followed the Lord’s will and heart and went on to do what the Lord called him to.  He never once questioned the Lord’s plan or why he wouldn’t be the one to build this huge massive house of worship.  He trusted the Lord’s plan and followed His will – and the Lord made David victorious.  

I love the word VICTORY! Victory is promised for those who choose to follow and obey the Lord, no matter what our hearts may think or desire.  We must choose to follow after the Lord and submit completely to His will for us.  It’s not easy.  We will want to revolt sometimes and do what we want to do.  But Victory is at stake here my friends.  And the Lord desires and promises to give it to us…

As I think about the journey that I have been on.  I could ask the Lord why can’t I sit around and build something pretty, but instead he’s called me to battle.  All I want is to say to the Lord what David said…

“Who am I, Lord God, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far? ¹⁷ And as if this were not enough in your sight, my God, you have spoken about the future of the house of your servant. You, Lord God, have looked on me as though I were the most exalted of men.”

Who am I….Who am I … that you have looked on me as though I were the most exalted of men?”  Bless you Lord – Bless you!

Here are some ways to continue to pray:

• Praise – everytime I am asked about how I am feeling, there seems to be some surprise that I am feeling pretty great.  So praise God people!
• Prayers that this radiation and chemo is targeting these tumors and killing them. My warriors are there battling and I am claiming VICTORY
• I am coming to the end of summer… eeek… haven’t spent much time on school stuff and I need to get going…so prayers for me to to focus on what I need to do for that and for my soccer teams.  Love these kids
• Prayers that the Lord will continue to hold me and just shine through.  Nothing encourages me and enables me to battle like hearing about how the Lord is working in people’s lives.  
• Continue to pray for the toxins to exit my body and for great energy – still feeling good!
• This week Scott is taking off to spend time at the house – so pray for great family moments together

Oh my goodness I had a blessed weekend!  A dear friend of mine flew in from Virginia to spend the weekend with me and we just talked and talked all weekend.  Her name is Kate and she and I both studied abroad in Monterrey, Mexico our Junior year of college for a semester.  She was in my wedding party and we were fortunate to see each other last summer when we went to DC and hit the east coast a bit.

I love that she is my sister in Christ and not just a roommate.  Course what we discovered, she has a better memory than me.  I’m going to blame the radiation…don’t know if that’s legit or not… but, it’s amazing as we looked at photos, how she remembered everyone’s names.  I couldn’t believe it!

We were able to go get a pedicure together and just “rest” together.  Nathan really enjoyed getting to know Kate and the two of them made slime together and he talked her ears off!  Time went so fast… but, what a blessing to have time to just sit and be reminded of memories and to just talk about what the Lord is doing in our lives.  Aren’t those just the best days?

So the older three left for church camp Saturday as well.  I had hoped to go this year and chaperone, but the Lord just had a different plan for me.  I have grown to love all the students at church like they were my own.  It was so great this year at school to be able to see so many of them as they were in my class, or came to my class to say hi.  Teens are the best.  You want an anti aging regiment?  Hang out with teens.  I have spent almost 20 years with teens at churches and there’s nothing else I would rather do.

Sunday night the house was quiet.  Only Nathan and Scott.  So we did our nightly walking around the block and just talking about how much has been going on and the many blessings we have received from so many of you.  I asked Nathan to take a picture of Scott and I …. the sunset was amazing!  God continually shouts to the world … “I’m here, don’t miss me… you won’t ever regret choosing me over everything else…”  And somehow, some of us choose to ignore Him and reject Him.

Well I have to admit.  I may reach my record for not washing my hair… haven’t gotten there yet…but losing hair is easier when it’s dry than when it was wet. Pretty much every time I brush my hair one stroke my brush looks like what’s below.  It’s crazy.   I did read that apparently as a blonde I have more hair follicles than any other hair color.  So it says I have 150,000 follicles …. so I have some hope that maybe I won’t lose all of it – ha.  I also discovered that in my big bald spot that I have some very short hair left…looks like a tattoo or something – but it’s in the shape of a “V” – so I’m claiming that means “Victory!” in Jesus name.

Was super blessed to be able to head down to Collide Camp and see Abbey, Ashton and Garrett and EVERY other awesome teen there.  We missed the ministry time so we just hung out and saw where they were staying and just watched them having fun with their friends.  Blessed to spend the weekend there.  Would you please pray for the pastor that is there from Tampa.  His daughter who is 14 is also battling cancer.  Her name is Josie.  And pray for lives to be transformed.  Thank you.

Here are some photos we took while we were there:

“The Lord has heard my plea; the Lord will answer my prayer.”

Psalm 6:9

As I opened up to read my Bible…I am telling you what.  With all the battles and warriors in the Old Testament I have a completely new perspective.  They were armed, prepared, had the proper equipment and the most important key to their success as they waged war was, did they listen to what God told them to do and did they trust completely that He would deliver them.  I just cheer now as I read… yes battle hard, you got this, fight warriors, fight.  And when God gets the angels involved I just get goose bumps because my warrior angels assigned to my case are valiant fighters and I can see them just using their bows and arrows taking out my tumors bit by bit.

In Acts Paul was still in prison and was in front of King Agrippa.  Paul began his defense by explaining about his past and that he himself was a zealous Jew until Jesus himself spoke to him and blinded him, so that he might come to believe that Jesus is who he said he is.  So here’s what Paul tells the king… (Acts 26:6-7)

“Now I am on trial because of my HOPE in the fulfillment of God’s promise made to our ancestors.  In fact, that is why the twelve tries of Israel zealously worship God night and day, and they share the same HOPE I have.  Yet, your magesty, they accuse me for having this HOPE.”

Paul was explaining to Aggripa that he was on trial because he knew the fulfillment that he had looked for as a Jew had transpired.  The HOPE that everyone had longed to see.  People had been waiting for the Messiah since Adam and Eve  sinned in the garden and God promised again through Abraham – a Savior – the solution to the gap that was cut between God and people.  Paul didn’t believe Jesus was it, because he didn’t want to believe Jesus was it.  It took Jesus himself bringing Paul to his knees in order for him to understand and accept that Jesus was THE long awaited Messiah.  Paul goes on to tell Agrippa, Festus, Govenor Bernice and others ….

“BUT GOD (my favorite thing…) has protected me right up to this present time SO I CAN TESTIFY to everyone, fro the least to the greatest.  I teach nothing except what the prophets and Moses said would happen – that the Messiah would suffer and be the first to rise from the dead, and in this way announe God’s light to Jews and Gentiles alike.”  Acts 26:22-23

Paul knew what his mission was.  He knew why he was in chains and he had the birthright in order to be able to appeal and see the top people.  The question was how would these top leaders respond to the Truth of the gospel?  I wish I could say they were persuaded……

“Suddenly, Festus shouted, “Paul, you are insane.  Too much study has made you crazy!”  But Paul replied, “I am not insane Most Excellent Festus.  What I am saying is the sober truth.  And King Agrippa knows about these things.  I speak boldly for I am sure these events are all familiar to him, for they were not done in a corner!  King Agrippa, do you believe the prophets, I know you do…” Agrippa interrupted him. “Do you think you can persuade me to become a Christian so quickly?”  Paul replied, “Whether quickly or not, I pray to God that both you and everyone here in this audience might become the same as I am, except for these chains.”  Acts 26:24-29

When I look at the boldness with which Paul spoke to some very important people, they had power to decide what to do with him next.  These were men of highest importance, yet he had the boldness to proclaim Truth.  He desired that these men and everyone listening would come to believe the Truth that he was living.  The verses that come after this tell us the men all got up and hadn’t really considered the message that had been given.  Truth fell on deaf ears and they missed the greatest gift ever given.  These guys were so busy doing their “jobs” that they didn’t take time to consider WHAT Paul was actually saying.  He wasn’t trying to defend himself, he set out to proclaim Jesus to ALL that would listen and consider what it all meant.  He desired that people would hear about Jesus, consider Jesus, accept Jesus and live and proclaim Jesus.   

As I think about Paul, I feel where he’s at.  I started this blog with a picture of peace.  Paul had peace in each and every situation he faced.  No matter the consequences, he was set on sharing the Truth with anyone who would listen.  His desire was for the Lord to use him to bring people to Christ.  Remember Paul could’ve stayed with fellow Christians, gone other places to proclaim the Truth, but instead he knew he had been called to take the harder road.  He was at peace.

I thank the Lord a million times a day that He has filled me with His peace.  I know that what He has called me to isn’t easy.  I feel pretty confident, I wouldn’t have chosen it.  Even though I have prayed some pretty bold things lately.  But, I have seen him work in so many ways, that looking at it now, I wouldn’t have wanted to miss out on what all He has done.  So all Praise to Him!

I was joking around a bit with my radiation doctor today.  I told him that the first few weeks after my seizure and before we started battling the tumors, I would cry more than normal.  I’m not a huge crier.  But, one of the tumors is close to my emotional part of my brain.  He was explaining could be what I was doing then versus now.  And I told him, “No, I have done an hour and half of Bible study everyday and I used to just cry as I read through what the Lord was showing me.  Now, I’m reading the same amount, I am amazed and it still hits me but, I’m not needing a box of kleenex anymore.”  So we are going to see how my warrior angels have battled these tumors in this area, because I think they’ve knocked them back from that part of my brain and God has already removed some of the tumors that used to be there.  He smiled at me and said, “ok…well we will see.”  I love the people at CARTI – so fun.

Here are some ways you all can be praying for me:

• Continued energy and good sleep at night
• Pray that the tumors are being targeted well
• Continue to pray for the toxins to be flushed out of my body and for my body to respond well to all the medication (so far I have been blessed)
• Good lab reports this week again
• Pray that as I am praying for others on the table…everything comes to mind quickly and that the Lord hears and answers these prayers
• Pray that my oldest three are challenged and grow in the Lord the last couple days of camp