It has been a really busy few days.  So still doing radiation everyday at 11:30am.  Love my people up there.  Blessed to see some “graduate” and move on and now even today, the reminder that this battle goes on.  There were new faces up there today just starting and I can remember wondering the first few days, what have I gotten myself in to.   I’m praying for these first timers or second first timers.  It’s a hard battle and the longer the battle goes, the harder it is to BE STILL and Believe.

I want to thank all of you again for allowing me the opportunity to pray with and for you.  It allows me focus and direction in the morning, during treatment, when the Lord reminds me during the day and at night when I am up.  I have been truly blessed to bring these requests to the Lord in confidence and in battle against Satan.  I have to write everything down…or forget it I won’t remember!

We have had a super busy week.  It sort of hit me this week that school starts soon!  I feel like the kids… course I’ve always been a “I could do without school messing up what I’m doing” kind of person.  But, this is life.  School must begin and everyday I take a link off of my cancer battle chain I am basically saying – school is one day closer- at least that’s what the kids say.

I knew that I wanted to get into the soccer office in the field house.  Last year, didn’t have a whole lot of time to think about how the office could be or should be.  Coach Friday, who shares the office with me, said “do whatever you want I don’t care”.  So I did.  I roped my father-in-law and my family, plus Nikki Funk into getting up there for a couple days and cleaning it out, throwing things away and getting it ready for the year.  And I LOVE IT!!!! Not all the way done, but it is soooo much better.  I left room for more trophies and It was good for my WHAT’s NEXT thought process, because now….I’m a little more ok with school starting.  Let’s not talk about my classroom yet 🙂 . hat a blessing it was to meet them.

 I was also able to meet the Gomez family in my renovations.  They sold me a bench to put in the office and we shared our relationship with the Lord and fellow battles with cancer.  What a blessing it was to meet them.

I was also able to get to see some of my club girls. So, I coach at the high school, but also have been a club soccer coach forever. This year I coach girls that are sophomores and juniors  – YIKES! So I have some girls from my high school team and then I have these other amazing ladies that I get to pour into and meet that I just love.  It made it interesting for me this year as a high school coach watching them play.  I have to admit I was coaching them in my head, under my breath and wondering why they just did what they did and me saying “oh that was a good ball…” It’s fun to to just enjoy the game sometimes.

Besides hanging out with these ladies, I was blessed by so many others.  At treatment this week…since I did the bald thing, I thought maybe I should look into a wig or something for school.  I hadn’t really considered that my hair would be in shock for awhile and who knows when it will decide to grow back.  So I made a trip at CARTI to their wig and other hair stuff room and I met these sweet teens.    What a blessing that they choose to volunteer up there and try and help those of us who have no idea what’s going on!  Ella Beth and Kate are students at Little Rock Christian Academy and blessed me as we all laughed at what was happening up on my head!  Did I get a wig – no, not yet, but I got a cute scarf!

I was also blessed to see my sweet warrior friend Sarah who is also battling brain cancer and she and I share the same Spirit of the Lord so we just are soul sisters every time we get the chance to speak or see each other.  In all her deals she, blessed me by knowing I may need a softer head and gave me some products to help me with the skin damage of radiation.  Thanks Girl!

Nathan was super excited to get a special breakfast dinner from Ms Vaughan, who works at our church and her parents.  He has really enjoyed watching people stop by and of course seeing what other people cook.  Seriously,  been so blessed to be fed by so many people.  It really is a highlight of my day to just spend time talking with people who are praying for us and investing in my health.  THANK YOU WARRIORS!

I am super excited to get my artwork from my good friend Sarah Henry of Redeemed Home Goods.  I asked her to paint what Abbey had done and I cannot wait to pick this piece up from her and get it hung up!

“I will cry to God Most High, to God who accomplishes ALL THINGS FOR ME.” Psalm 57:2

I have to admit, I am reading a lot of books right now.  Some are devotionals, some are words of scripture, some are from people who have walked in the dark valleys, some are daily Biblical challenges and I am enjoying each one.  As I read through one of these Bible Studies it took me to the book of Job.  And I was very thankful for the time spent in there.  The book of Job has always been a very amazing exchange to me and here where I am now, I was further reminded that as I pray very fervently over each request for others and for myself that we are in a very REAL battle.  Satan desires to take us down and out and that is the Truth.  BUT GOD…..people!  We have GOD, El Elyon – THE MOST HIGH with US!  And in reading these very familiar passages to me again, in this time, God really affirmed and spoke to me.

Job 1:6-12 

⁶ One day the angels^[a] came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan^[b]also came with them. ⁷ The Lord said to Satan, “Where have you come from?”

Satan answered the Lord, “From roaming throughout the earth, going back and forth on it.”

I am not going to assume we all know what’s going on here.  It is believed that Job may be the first book of the Bible written and Job was an upright God worshipping, believing person.  He was very successful and had a blessed family.  Everything was going good for Job.  Satan was created as a beautiful angel of God – who CHOSE to rebel against God-becoming an enemy of God.

⁸ Then the Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil.”

⁹ “Does Job fear God for nothing?” Satan replied. ¹⁰ “Have you not put a hedge around him and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land. ¹¹ But now stretch out your hand and strike everything he has, and he will surely curse you to your face.”

So as Satan is roaming around the earth, the Lord points out Job.  Can you imagine having the Lord say, “There is no one on earth like him…” For the Lord to see Job and his faithfulness and highlight it…wow!  Satan comes back with – you’ve blessed him of course he’s going to serve you and not curse you.  But, if you changed that and made life hard for him, he would change his heart’s focus.

¹² The Lord said to Satan, “Very well, then, everything he has is in your power, but on the man himself do not lay a finger.”

Then Satan went out from the presence of the Lord.

So here’s an amazing TRUTH we cannot forget.  God is in control and ONLY HE is Most High.  Satan has to ask permission to mess with Job.  He has to go to God and ASK that he is allowed to get involved in Job’s life.  For me this is a TRUTH we have to understand.  Satan cannot get involved without the Lord allowing him …. Bless!

The passage goes on to say:

Job 2:1-10 

2 On another day the angels^[a] came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan also came with them to present himself before him. ² And the Lord said to Satan, “Where have you come from?”

Satan answered the Lord, “From roaming throughout the earth, going back and forth on it.”

³ Then the Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil. And he still maintains his integrity, though you incited me against him to ruin him without any reason.”

⁴ “Skin for skin!” Satan replied. “A man will give all he has for his own life. ⁵ But now stretch out your hand and strike his flesh and bones, and he will surely curse you to your face.”

⁶ The Lord said to Satan, “Very well, then, he is in your hands; but you must spare his life.”

The Lord allows Satan now to touch Job’s body because Satan believes that in this moment, Job will curse God and turn his back on the Lord.

⁷ So Satan went out from the presence of the Lord and afflicted Job with painful sores from the soles of his feet to the crown of his head. ⁸ Then Job took a piece of broken pottery and scraped himself with it as he sat among the ashes.

⁹ His wife said to him, “Are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die!”

¹⁰ He replied, “You are talking like a foolish^[b] woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?”

In all this, Job did not sin in what he said.

EEEEKKKKKK!  So excited to finally be able to write!  So much has gone on the last couple of days… and then nothing has gone on at the same time!

Biggest news probably:  I chopped off all my hair and shaved it all off.  I really wondered if I would have to make this decision or not.  I heard phrases like “your hair will thin where we are shooting you with radiation.” “you could lose some hair…”  “we just have to wait and see..”  Well we waited and we saw and I just couldn’t risk being slapped with an arrest warrant because clumps of my hair were found in some crime area or on a dead body.  It was a daily battle: me vs my hair.  I decided to be done with it.

So it was time.  I have to say, I struggled a bit with this idea.  I like the idea of pulling my hair up and being able to look like a “woman” and that includes doing my hair.  But, as Scott finished getting the rest of my hair off tonight, I just told the Lord “this is your plan and you have a purpose and darn it – this is the head you made and you said it was good.  So, let’s do this. Be glorified even in this!”

We had the most blessed weekend away at Lake Ouachita with the family.  Our summer travel plans had to be changed and I decided that it would be nice to be able to just go to the lake for a couple of days and relax.  It was a sweet weekend.  The kids had a good time and we were just able to just “be” without other things going on.  The good news/weird news is that we didn’t have great cell service blessing/harder living LOL so that really through all of us off.  Haven’t we just become too dependent on technology???!!!!  I wanted to blog 100 times and had to be positioned hanging with one foot off the deck and my hand on my head to get a bar going…so I just really tried to post a couple things at the 1 min opening I was given on my phone – ha!  So instead I spent time reading and really just soaking in the Lord for a couple hours every morning.  Loved my time with Him.  One of the blessings through this journey is being able to see my kids laugh as I laugh, dig into God’s Word and live to trust Him in EVEN in this.  There is no greater joy for me – no soccer win, no academic achievement, NOTHING will ever mean more to me than what I am seeing from them.  Praise God!  Here are some of our fun memories:

Was blessed by many people the last few days!  Can I just remember to always get photos!  One of my sweet girls Hannah from my club team came up to get bracelets and waited on me to surprise me after treatment Friday.  Best hugs are from my girls.  Her family has been such a blessing and faithful prayer warriors for me.  Very thankful for their joy and love.

I had a great surprise today.  I got a message from a guy who used to ref make games and kept me in line when I thought “the game” was so important – kids were probably 10 Ha!  Anyway, Keith was always an excellent ref and I enjoyed his interaction with the players and me.  I met up with he and his wife Terri.  Here’s how the Lord works: Terri and I have never met, yet she knew one day, God told her to make me a quilt.  It is so awesome!  She has taken some of the verses off of my blogs and stitched them onto the quilt.  Today we got to hug and talk about what all the Lord is doing and I was blessed.  God is so great and good!

The Chumleys came over and brought us dinner.  Nikki and I have worked on soccer club stuff before and we are blessed to go to the same church.  Also, Kate is my little artist- and future hornet :).  Look at what she brought me!  So awesome!  Love it!

“FOR FROM HIM AND THROUGH HIM AND TO HIM ARE ALL THINGS. TO HIM BE THE GLORY FOREVER. AMEN”  Romans 11:36

In the last few days I have read so many things!  It’s hard for me to really hone in on what the Lord would want me to share…. His Word is just too amazing!

But, David…Ahhhh he is my kind of person.  All out worship and dedicated to fight for whatever the Lord calls him to.  Was he perfect, no. Infact he disobeyed God quite a few times. But, he came back to him humbled and ready to follow the Lord’s next steps.

He had brought back the Ark of the Covenent and was faithful to do the things the Lord required by His people to pay for their sin.  David loved music.  Of course we remember that he played the Harp even at a young age, but as you read through Pslams you can see his passion and desire to worship through song was evident.

1 Chronicles 16:41-43

⁴⁰ to present burnt offerings to the Lord on the altar of burnt offering regularly, morning and evening, in accordance with everything written in the Law of the Lord, which he had given Israel. ⁴¹ With them were Heman and Jeduthun and the rest of those chosen and designated by name to give thanks to the Lord, “for his love endures forever.” ⁴² Heman and Jeduthun were responsible for the sounding of the trumpets and cymbals and for the playing of the other instruments for sacred song. The sons of Jeduthun were stationed at the gate.

⁴³ Then all the people left, each for their own home, and David returned home to bless his family.

I love that David understood that he was a dad and husband and he had an obligation to BLESS his family-even while doing important things, like ruling a kingdom.  I imagine David going home enjoying his family, kissing everyone good night and walking aroud the palace.  As he gazes out over the kingdom a thought occurs to him and he summons Nathan the prophet.  David shares with Nathan that he thinks it’s not right that he is in such a palace and that Ark of the Lord’s covenant is in a tent – something big needs to be built.  Nathan tells David to do whatever he thinks should be done because the Lord is with him.

The Lord appears to Nathan later that same night to tell Nathan something else… The Lord tells Nathan …

David’s response is one of humility and honoring of the Lord.  WHO AM I that you would do all of this?  It wasn’t about David ever, his heart was focused on what the Lord desired and he never questioned it.  He knew the greatness of God and trusted and submitted to His will, not David’s will. 

²³ “And now, Lord, let the promise you have made concerning your servant and his house be established forever. Do as you promised, ²⁴ so that it will be established and that your name will be great forever. Then people will say, ‘The Lord Almighty, the God over Israel, is Israel’s God!’ And the house of your servant David will be established before you.

²⁵ “You, my God, have revealed to your servant that you will build a house for him. So your servant has found courage to pray to you. ²⁶ You, Lord, are God! You have promised these good things to your servant. ²⁷ Now you have been pleased to bless the house of your servant, that it may continue forever in your sight; for you, Lord, have blessed it, and it will be blessed forever.”

God is faithful and David just declares it here.  Do as you say and people will say these things…because it WILL happen.  I won’t see it with my own eyes, but this is what WILL happen because God is trustworthy and David knew it.  When God promises, He always fulfills. 

David went on after this to secure the kingdom and battle many other kings.  We are told twice in 18:6 and 18:13 that the Lord made David victorious wherever he went.  David followed the Lord’s will and heart and went on to do what the Lord called him to.  He never once questioned the Lord’s plan or why he wouldn’t be the one to build this huge massive house of worship.  He trusted the Lord’s plan and followed His will – and the Lord made David victorious.  

I love the word VICTORY! Victory is promised for those who choose to follow and obey the Lord, no matter what our hearts may think or desire.  We must choose to follow after the Lord and submit completely to His will for us.  It’s not easy.  We will want to revolt sometimes and do what we want to do.  But Victory is at stake here my friends.  And the Lord desires and promises to give it to us…

As I think about the journey that I have been on.  I could ask the Lord why can’t I sit around and build something pretty, but instead he’s called me to battle.  All I want is to say to the Lord what David said…

“Who am I, Lord God, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far? ¹⁷ And as if this were not enough in your sight, my God, you have spoken about the future of the house of your servant. You, Lord God, have looked on me as though I were the most exalted of men.”

Who am I….Who am I … that you have looked on me as though I were the most exalted of men?”  Bless you Lord – Bless you!

Here are some ways to continue to pray:

• Praise – everytime I am asked about how I am feeling, there seems to be some surprise that I am feeling pretty great.  So praise God people!
• Prayers that this radiation and chemo is targeting these tumors and killing them. My warriors are there battling and I am claiming VICTORY
• I am coming to the end of summer… eeek… haven’t spent much time on school stuff and I need to get going…so prayers for me to to focus on what I need to do for that and for my soccer teams.  Love these kids
• Prayers that the Lord will continue to hold me and just shine through.  Nothing encourages me and enables me to battle like hearing about how the Lord is working in people’s lives.  
• Continue to pray for the toxins to exit my body and for great energy – still feeling good!
• This week Scott is taking off to spend time at the house – so pray for great family moments together

Oh my goodness I had a blessed weekend!  A dear friend of mine flew in from Virginia to spend the weekend with me and we just talked and talked all weekend.  Her name is Kate and she and I both studied abroad in Monterrey, Mexico our Junior year of college for a semester.  She was in my wedding party and we were fortunate to see each other last summer when we went to DC and hit the east coast a bit.

I love that she is my sister in Christ and not just a roommate.  Course what we discovered, she has a better memory than me.  I’m going to blame the radiation…don’t know if that’s legit or not… but, it’s amazing as we looked at photos, how she remembered everyone’s names.  I couldn’t believe it!

We were able to go get a pedicure together and just “rest” together.  Nathan really enjoyed getting to know Kate and the two of them made slime together and he talked her ears off!  Time went so fast… but, what a blessing to have time to just sit and be reminded of memories and to just talk about what the Lord is doing in our lives.  Aren’t those just the best days?

So the older three left for church camp Saturday as well.  I had hoped to go this year and chaperone, but the Lord just had a different plan for me.  I have grown to love all the students at church like they were my own.  It was so great this year at school to be able to see so many of them as they were in my class, or came to my class to say hi.  Teens are the best.  You want an anti aging regiment?  Hang out with teens.  I have spent almost 20 years with teens at churches and there’s nothing else I would rather do.

Sunday night the house was quiet.  Only Nathan and Scott.  So we did our nightly walking around the block and just talking about how much has been going on and the many blessings we have received from so many of you.  I asked Nathan to take a picture of Scott and I …. the sunset was amazing!  God continually shouts to the world … “I’m here, don’t miss me… you won’t ever regret choosing me over everything else…”  And somehow, some of us choose to ignore Him and reject Him.

Well I have to admit.  I may reach my record for not washing my hair… haven’t gotten there yet…but losing hair is easier when it’s dry than when it was wet. Pretty much every time I brush my hair one stroke my brush looks like what’s below.  It’s crazy.   I did read that apparently as a blonde I have more hair follicles than any other hair color.  So it says I have 150,000 follicles …. so I have some hope that maybe I won’t lose all of it – ha.  I also discovered that in my big bald spot that I have some very short hair left…looks like a tattoo or something – but it’s in the shape of a “V” – so I’m claiming that means “Victory!” in Jesus name.

Was super blessed to be able to head down to Collide Camp and see Abbey, Ashton and Garrett and EVERY other awesome teen there.  We missed the ministry time so we just hung out and saw where they were staying and just watched them having fun with their friends.  Blessed to spend the weekend there.  Would you please pray for the pastor that is there from Tampa.  His daughter who is 14 is also battling cancer.  Her name is Josie.  And pray for lives to be transformed.  Thank you.

Here are some photos we took while we were there:

“The Lord has heard my plea; the Lord will answer my prayer.”

Psalm 6:9

As I opened up to read my Bible…I am telling you what.  With all the battles and warriors in the Old Testament I have a completely new perspective.  They were armed, prepared, had the proper equipment and the most important key to their success as they waged war was, did they listen to what God told them to do and did they trust completely that He would deliver them.  I just cheer now as I read… yes battle hard, you got this, fight warriors, fight.  And when God gets the angels involved I just get goose bumps because my warrior angels assigned to my case are valiant fighters and I can see them just using their bows and arrows taking out my tumors bit by bit.

In Acts Paul was still in prison and was in front of King Agrippa.  Paul began his defense by explaining about his past and that he himself was a zealous Jew until Jesus himself spoke to him and blinded him, so that he might come to believe that Jesus is who he said he is.  So here’s what Paul tells the king… (Acts 26:6-7)

“Now I am on trial because of my HOPE in the fulfillment of God’s promise made to our ancestors.  In fact, that is why the twelve tries of Israel zealously worship God night and day, and they share the same HOPE I have.  Yet, your magesty, they accuse me for having this HOPE.”

Paul was explaining to Aggripa that he was on trial because he knew the fulfillment that he had looked for as a Jew had transpired.  The HOPE that everyone had longed to see.  People had been waiting for the Messiah since Adam and Eve  sinned in the garden and God promised again through Abraham – a Savior – the solution to the gap that was cut between God and people.  Paul didn’t believe Jesus was it, because he didn’t want to believe Jesus was it.  It took Jesus himself bringing Paul to his knees in order for him to understand and accept that Jesus was THE long awaited Messiah.  Paul goes on to tell Agrippa, Festus, Govenor Bernice and others ….

“BUT GOD (my favorite thing…) has protected me right up to this present time SO I CAN TESTIFY to everyone, fro the least to the greatest.  I teach nothing except what the prophets and Moses said would happen – that the Messiah would suffer and be the first to rise from the dead, and in this way announe God’s light to Jews and Gentiles alike.”  Acts 26:22-23

Paul knew what his mission was.  He knew why he was in chains and he had the birthright in order to be able to appeal and see the top people.  The question was how would these top leaders respond to the Truth of the gospel?  I wish I could say they were persuaded……

“Suddenly, Festus shouted, “Paul, you are insane.  Too much study has made you crazy!”  But Paul replied, “I am not insane Most Excellent Festus.  What I am saying is the sober truth.  And King Agrippa knows about these things.  I speak boldly for I am sure these events are all familiar to him, for they were not done in a corner!  King Agrippa, do you believe the prophets, I know you do…” Agrippa interrupted him. “Do you think you can persuade me to become a Christian so quickly?”  Paul replied, “Whether quickly or not, I pray to God that both you and everyone here in this audience might become the same as I am, except for these chains.”  Acts 26:24-29

When I look at the boldness with which Paul spoke to some very important people, they had power to decide what to do with him next.  These were men of highest importance, yet he had the boldness to proclaim Truth.  He desired that these men and everyone listening would come to believe the Truth that he was living.  The verses that come after this tell us the men all got up and hadn’t really considered the message that had been given.  Truth fell on deaf ears and they missed the greatest gift ever given.  These guys were so busy doing their “jobs” that they didn’t take time to consider WHAT Paul was actually saying.  He wasn’t trying to defend himself, he set out to proclaim Jesus to ALL that would listen and consider what it all meant.  He desired that people would hear about Jesus, consider Jesus, accept Jesus and live and proclaim Jesus.   

As I think about Paul, I feel where he’s at.  I started this blog with a picture of peace.  Paul had peace in each and every situation he faced.  No matter the consequences, he was set on sharing the Truth with anyone who would listen.  His desire was for the Lord to use him to bring people to Christ.  Remember Paul could’ve stayed with fellow Christians, gone other places to proclaim the Truth, but instead he knew he had been called to take the harder road.  He was at peace.

I thank the Lord a million times a day that He has filled me with His peace.  I know that what He has called me to isn’t easy.  I feel pretty confident, I wouldn’t have chosen it.  Even though I have prayed some pretty bold things lately.  But, I have seen him work in so many ways, that looking at it now, I wouldn’t have wanted to miss out on what all He has done.  So all Praise to Him!

I was joking around a bit with my radiation doctor today.  I told him that the first few weeks after my seizure and before we started battling the tumors, I would cry more than normal.  I’m not a huge crier.  But, one of the tumors is close to my emotional part of my brain.  He was explaining could be what I was doing then versus now.  And I told him, “No, I have done an hour and half of Bible study everyday and I used to just cry as I read through what the Lord was showing me.  Now, I’m reading the same amount, I am amazed and it still hits me but, I’m not needing a box of kleenex anymore.”  So we are going to see how my warrior angels have battled these tumors in this area, because I think they’ve knocked them back from that part of my brain and God has already removed some of the tumors that used to be there.  He smiled at me and said, “ok…well we will see.”  I love the people at CARTI – so fun.

Here are some ways you all can be praying for me:

• Continued energy and good sleep at night
• Pray that the tumors are being targeted well
• Continue to pray for the toxins to be flushed out of my body and for my body to respond well to all the medication (so far I have been blessed)
• Good lab reports this week again
• Pray that as I am praying for others on the table…everything comes to mind quickly and that the Lord hears and answers these prayers
• Pray that my oldest three are challenged and grow in the Lord the last couple days of camp

Going to write just a quicker blog today.  So many wonderful things going on today that I just know I need to give God the Glory!  So many amazing stories where I have heard about people persevering during difficult trials and seeing God just do amazing things.  I have also been so touched by so many of you who are struggling or love someone dearly who is struggling.  I am blessed by each prayer request and I consider it a privilege to bring your burdens before the Lord.  My time on the table goes so quickly because I am worshiping and praying for each request that I have been given.  My angels got the treatment and I am just blessed, blessed, blessed to spend time in prayer.

Was very blessed (how many times can I say this word?) this morning by my neighbor Gala Tallent who picked me up and took me to treatment so Scott could start his day in Little Rock for work.  Just as the Lord likes to do, He had my machine down so that we were going to be running late…and we got to meet our new sister and friend Dorthy Rogers, who is a caregiver of her husband who was in there before getting treatment.  We had the opportunity to visit for close to an hour and just share stories, challenges and our HOPE in the Lord.

It was so amazing to be with Gala today.  Listen, this lady is a warrior beyond warrior for the Lord.  Course if you know her, or have met her, her testimony of walking with the Lord is just so amazing and I love to hear about how the Lord walked with her in difficult times and then used her for so many things.  Gala spends almost all of her free time ministering to homeless camps and keeping up with individuals battling big things.  To hear how the Lord has used her and her friends is just an amazing confirmation to the Lord’s hand and desire to use us to minister to people most people don’t give a thought to.  I completely forgot to take any pics today with her because we were just so engaged in what we were talking about… but here she is with her husband Tommy ministering to others. (I stole this off her page lol) . Also pray for her Monday, she is having a procedure and I know she doesn’t want to be down from her ministry very long.  Thank you.

We were visited by Scott’s cousins Marcy and Shelly.  They stopped by for a couple of hours to check in on me and Ann, and we got visit about what is going on in their lives.  It’s so great to be able to just visit and share time with so many loving people.  We were given a wonderful dinner from the Cicero Family as well!

It has been a very cool and pleasant night tonight.  That I’m sitting outside on my deck and it feels perfect.  Love these little surprises that we get every once in a while.  Nathan was sweet to offer to walk with me around the block.  I think he enjoys “babysitting” me.

As I sit every morning and study the Word… I am just so humbled and blessed to be with the Lord.  These two verses of Psalms 4 are truly, truly how I feel, walk and want to live.  I have joy, I am filled with peace and I feel safe in the Father’s arms.  I love that it says “let your face smile on us, Lord…”  His face is the only thing I see in treatment and it makes ME smile….and I smiled bigger today knowing He was smiling on me 🙂

In studying Acts 24 today and following Paul as he is heading closer and closer to Rome, I am continually comforted and confident as I see how much the Lord took care of Paul and gave him opportunities to tell others about what Jesus had done for them on the cross.  His journey has made me a stronger warrior and given me continual hope that I am very thankful for.

So if you remember, Paul was moved at night and protected from those that wanted to kill him.  They had to wait 5 days for the high priest to show up with all of his people and begin the trial.  They tried to present an argument that was full of lies and deception to convince Felix, the governor that this guy Paul should be dealt with harshly.

Felix allowed Paul to speak ….. after speaking against everything the high priest had said, he said this….

 ¹⁴“But I admit that I follow the Way, which they call a cult. I worship the God of our ancestors, and I firmly believe the Jewish law and everything written in the prophets. ¹⁵ I have the same hope in God that these men have, that he will raise both the righteous and the unrighteous. ¹⁶ Because of this, I always try to maintain a clear conscience before God and all people.

Paul confirmed that he believed in the Old Testament law the same as his accusers and then went on to explain further why he was on trial.  Paul was bold, truthful and ready to stand before the people who wanted him dead and before the governor who had all authority to punish him.  Ahhhh Felix……

²² At that point Felix, who was quite familiar with the Way, adjourned the hearing and said, “Wait until Lysias, the garrison commander, arrives. Then I will decide the case.” ²³ He ordered an officer^[d] to keep Paul in custody but to give him some freedom and allow his friends to visit him and take care of his needs.

I think at this point, something about Paul intriqued Felix.  He basically pushed the religious leaders aside and decided there was something about this guy Paul that he wanted to know more about.  And we see this in the following verses….

²⁴ A few days later Felix came back with his wife, Drusilla, who was Jewish. Sending for Paul, they listened as he told them about faith in Christ Jesus. ²⁵ As he reasoned with them about righteousness and self-control and the coming day of judgment, Felix became frightened. “Go away for now,” he replied. “When it is more convenient, I’ll call for you again.” ²⁶ He also hoped that Paul would bribe him, so he sent for him quite often and talked with him.

Felix is so interested in what Paul is all about that he brings his Jewish wife to hear what Paul has to say.  Paul was bold, holding nothing back and giving Felix and his wife everything they needed to be able to know Jesus and make a decision about Him.  But in verse 26 we see his heart.  He was hoping for money from Paul.  “Hey Paul, give me some money and I’ll let you go…. you keep talking about Jesus….it’s interesting.  I like what you have to say….I’ve given you some freedoms…your friends get to visit and hang out with you…life could be worse.  Hmmmm Jesus.  Interesting.  Not ready to make a decision about this yet….keep talking…. what I have to change the way I live?  What my life and focus would be different?  Hmmmmm  

²⁷ After two years went by in this way, Felix was succeeded by Porcius Festus. And because Felix wanted to gain favor with the Jewish people, he left Paul in prison.

After two years of investment by Paul, Felix chose power and prestige over a saving faith in Christ.  I bet that broke Paul’s heart.  To think about all the conversations, probably some laughter, maybe even meals together and in the end Felix walked away from knowing the Lord.  But, that’s how it is with the Lord.  He never will force himself on anyone, it is an individual choice that each person must make for themselves.  The decision is costly.  Saving faith on earth may cost you friends, jobs, prestige or other popular things.  But, that same faith will give you an eternal home with Jesus himself.  Felix walked away from this.  He chose earthly glory and power and walked away from the Truth and would spend eternity away from Jesus separated from Him in constant torture.  

This is a hard truth for many of us. To know that we may invest years into a person and they choose their own way… is heart breaking to think about.  But, in the end we are not responsible to make choices for people, only to be faithful to share and pray.  The Lord desires for EVERY PERSON to come to the knowledge of the Truth.  (1 Timothy 2:4)

Have you ever known someone who chose this road and walked away from the Truth? I know talking to my sweet neighbor Gala today as we shared stories about the Lord she had a story to tell me about a young man she dearly loves that she has shared Jesus with many times, but isn’t willing to cross the line and choose Jesus over the life he is currently living.  We are praying for him…will you join us? 

Listen faith is a choice we make.  I don’t know all of the answers and I never will…until that day I see Jesus face to face and I just run and embrace Him.  But, I have made a choice in my life…I made it long ago.  Nothing in this life will EVER be before Jesus.  He called me long ago and I knew it.  I trust Him EVEN WHEN I am in this right now.  Paul trusted Him while he sat in prison and used that “hard” time to minister to others and tell others about Jesus.

What is the Lord doing in your life right now that you can use to tell others about Jesus? We have been given the HOPE that the world needs.  Ask Him to build you up and step forward in faith, trusting that He will use you in a mighty way.  Let the face of the Lord SMILE on you today and every day as you share and show the Love of Christ to those who need it!

A couple of awesome things:

The HOPE WARRIOR SHIRTS are ready to order!  So excited to get these out!

DOCS.GOOGLE.COM

Hope Warrior Shirts

These shirts have been designed to show our dear friend, Nicole Inman, our support for her and her message. See below for shirt design. The shirt design can be on four types of shirts. Comfort Color T-shirt Comfort Color Tank Gildan Soft Style T-shirt Gildan Tank Each shirt is $15.00 if ordering 2XL…

ALSO super blessed by this song my brotherMike sent me today.  Could be my theme song.  Turn it up and enjoy it!

PRAYER NEEDS:

• Kids leave tomorrow for church camp, pray for deep times with the Lord 
• Pray for sweet moments with my friend Kate and I this weekend
• Pray that my leg cramps continue to stay away at night
• For the swelling to continue to subside in my face
• For all of the poison to leave my body and for my stomach lining to be protected and not give me issues … found out could be the feelings I’ve been having.  
• Pray for me to get good rest every night and not be restless 

Thank you so much warriors!  You all are encouraging me forward each step of the day!

#hopewarrior

If there was a verse I probably could plaster everywhere for my journey right now Romans 12:12 would be it. 
These are challenging words and commands. Doesn’t say, when you feel like it, or when it’s not too hard or when you want to set an example. It says BE Joyful, BE Patient and BE Faithful. 
So in the middle of affliction and difficulty we are called to rely and wait – to be patient. How can we do that? Mostly we want to throw the towel in and complain because difficulty is hard stuff. We simply cannot see how THIS could be good… ever. I love that the word affliction is sandwiched in between Hope and Prayer. When we are fixed on the Hope we have been given in Christ, we are joy filled people. When we have taken the time to be built up in Prayer by the Lord, no matter what, affliction tries to tear us down, we are solid because he has been faithful to strengthen and prepare us for the battle ahead.
Today ask the Lord to fill you with Hope that He gives… He is faithful and will provide it and so much more! Battle on warriors. #hopewarrior

 This I posted on my Instagram and FB today.  I was really blessed by this passage and just the opportunity to really take it in.  I love it when God teaches me and stretches me.

We were blessed with a great 4th of July.  The kids were gracious enough to stay home and hang with the folks… Ok maybe we told them it would be nice if they did.  Scott took the kids to the neighborhood pool and I was able to catch up with my parents on the phone and then decided I needed to shut my eyes for a quick little nap.  Thankfully when I woke up the kids were still there so my in-laws were gracious enough to take me up to the pool and watch the kids a bit from the shade.

Our street was really patriotic!  Good job neighbors!  We had quite the show of fireworks all around.  The 4th is such a special holiday and I will always cherish the freedoms we enjoy that so many were willing to live and die for and still are today.  So if you are a soldier…thank you for our service!

I mentioned above how my in-laws took me to the pool.  Well, they deserve a standing ovation for all they have done for us the past month.  Clyde has been over here fixing and doing things that I had wanted to get done and Ann has lived here taking the load of caring for things around here.  We certainly couldn’t do all we are doing around here without them!

We were blessed by Melanie Stacey who brought us dinner for the 4th.  She and her husband were Abbey and Ashton’s 4th grade Sunday School teachers at Geyer Springs.  So blessed to hear about their summer travels and just to get a hug from her.

After our 4th adventures I admit I was ready for bed.  I decided to take a bath and wash my hair and get relaxed before bed.  I got out of the bath and started to do what I normally do before bed.  One of the first things is to brush my wet hair!  Now I had been told that I would lose hair where I was getting the radiation treatment…but was expecting another week or so and honestly really hadn’t thought too much about it.  I’ll always remember this now because it was on the 4th….but I was brushing clumps of hair out… I know these moments are hard for many patients…. and I was surprised for a moment, then I got annoyed because it wouldn’t end and then I just decided I didn’t want to brush my hair anymore because there were wet strands just hanging around that didn’t seem to ever end!  So after 5 full brushes of hair, I decided I would look at it in the morning….I was calling it a night!  I took a couple of pics…sorry if it’s weird or maybe even kind of gross…but this is the reality going for me right now and for many cancer patients.

When I got up this morning and my hair was a drier, it was easier for me to brush the hair out and hopefully, maybe come to an end of here’s where I’m getting hit at treatment.  The blessing in all of this… I have been trying to put frankincense where my tumors are and never really knew where they needed to go.  Well now I have nothing in the way and Scott was so kind to roll that oil all over my naked spots on my head!  I have to admit when I was lying on the table today I was really hoping that we aren’t zapping any more pieces of hair away… I can cover the skin now…don’t need a sunburned head!  Thanks TEAM!:)

This morning I woke up and spent time soaking in the word on my deck…love this time.  Abbey and Ashton had to go take their driver’s test.  I didn’t know if they would pass the test…really hadn’t studied as much as I would’ve thought they needed, but I NEED them to pass so they can drive me around when school starts.  So thankful the Lord allowed them both to pass, so now they are practicing so they can chauffeur me around this school year!

After the girls made it home Scott and I headed up for treatment/appts which were going to last most of the day.  And they did.  I was thankful because my machine wasn’t down, but the other one was…so it was very busy in there.  CARTI has some of the sweetest people and we just have a great time being up there laughing and sharing stories.  Course I had to tell them all I was going bald on one side.  HA!

After treatment and lunch we were blessed to visit with my friend Elizabeth, her daughter Lyndsey and Grandma Doyle.  Grandma is going through her own chemo treatment every three weeks and it’s hard on her.  Would you please pray that her final treatments aren’t as hard on her and that they are working just as they should ?  Elizabeth has been such a warrior for me and I just appreciate their family so much. Course we know how to laugh and just enjoy life together…even in this! 

So while we are sitting here visiting I look behind them and I see a very familiar family that means so much to me as well.  Blessed to have so many connections to the Whisenhunt’s and just a God little smile for me to see their name on the wall.  Thank you Gene and Kathy for making our conversation spot today such a blessing – especially after blessing us with a fantastic meal a couple weeks ago!  We love you and your family!

“The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.” Judges 6:12

As I was reading in Acts this morning, I was drawn in to Paul’s journey to Rome.  Remember I had mentioned earlier that Paul could’ve stayed where he was, safe and preaching, but he knew that he had been called to Rome to preach the good news of the gospel.  He knew death was in front of him, yet he was JOYFUL, PATIENT and FAITHFUL (those words above) .

I have noticed in my own journey, that the deeper we get with the Lord on the journey we are on, His presence and faithfulness is undeniable in the circumstances that we face.  This was true for Paul as well.  After being attacked and brought in front of angry crowds he was put back in the fortress for his own protection….

Acts 23:11

That night the Lord appeared to Paul and said, “Be encouraged, Paul. Just as you have been a witness to me here in Jerusalem, you must preach the Good News in Rome as well.”

Paul was assured by the Lord himself that no matter what was happening around him, this wasn’t where his life would end.  He must still go to Rome and testify to the Truth of the Gospel.  What a blessing for Paul to be ministered to by the Lord himself.  I have felt the Lord’s presence with me in my radiation treatments and I have seen His smile – which of course makes me smile as big as I can under that mask.  The presence of the Lord is like nothing else on earth.

But, just as has happened to Paul before, the Jews are furious with him.  “How dare he say these things about us, we are going to kill him.”  They begin to plot on how they will kill Paul to shut him up once and for all.

And as the Lord does, he put the right person (Paul’s nephew) at the right place, at the right time to hear all of this.  He went to Paul and Paul directed him to go and tell the commander what he had heard.  Paul’s nephew was given an audience with the commander and the commander listened to the Jewish plan.  He told the nephew not to let anyone know about what they talked about.

2 Kings 23:23-24

Then the commander called two of his officers and ordered, “Get 200 soldiers ready to leave for Caesarea at nine o’clock tonight. Also take 200 spearmen and 70 mounted troops. ²⁴ Provide horses for Paul to ride, and get him safely to Governor Felix.”

I love this!  So Paul is going to get to ride horses, be surrounded by soldiers for safety and get to go and see a very important person, Governor Felix.  The Lord took care of all of the details.  What seemed like a scary situation, turned into the Lord showing up…again…and providing Paul the opportunity to preach the good news to more people.  Moving him closer to Rome.  It all started with his nephew.  It took a lot for his nephew to stand up and speak truth and be Paul’s voice in front of some important people.  But he did it anyway.  FEARLESS living.

ACTS 23:31-35

So that night, as ordered, the soldiers took Paul as far as Antipatris. ³² They returned to the fortress the next morning, while the mounted troops took him on to Caesarea. ³³ When they arrived in Caesarea, they presented Paul and the letter to Governor Felix. ³⁴ He read it and then asked Paul what province he was from. “Cilicia,” Paul answered.

³⁵ “I will hear your case myself when your accusers arrive,” the governor told him. Then the governor ordered him kept in the prison at Herod’s headquarters.^[f]

I just love this.  The governor took the case himself and put him up in Herod’s headquarters.  Now more people would hear he gospel and the Governor himself would be able to hear and ask questions of Paul about this Faith that he was living out.  

As I read this today, I was thankful.  Thankful that we serve a God who provides for our every need.  He shows up in dark corners and pulls us out and gives us the opportunity to glorify Him in some amazing places.  I focused on Psalm 3 today after reading Acts :

I imagined Paul could’ve said these words, just as David had done when he was being chased by his son, who wanted him dead.  Paul knew and had experienced the REST the Lord provides, he could move forward in complete CONFIDENCE and trust that the Lord would PROTECT him because of who the LORD IS.

As I get ready to rest tonight….I want this to be my prayer.  

1. The Lord is my shield – there is no need to fear
2. He promises to hear everything I lift up to him – he is here
3. He is my protector and he watches over me – love this
4. No matter how many cancer cells exist in my brain or tumors or whatever… I am not afraid – because the Lord is fighting for me

Some ways you can pray for me:

• Praise the Lord my blood levels were perfect today!  Yeah – let’s keep those where they need to be
• I’ve done 11 treatments – and they remeasured today and said everything is getting hit right where it needs to be going
• On July 11th they will have the biopsy results from when they did the original procedure.  They will have a greater understanding of the tumor make-up and be able to determine what studies/trials are out there to fight this thing better going forward if need be
• Pray for good rest for me.  I am so thankful for not having leg cramps last night, so just want to be able to really sleep hard
• My roommate Kate from when I studied in Mexico is coming for a visit this weekend.  Pray for safe travels for her and just a God honoring – wonderful weekend.

Thank you so much warriors!  The Lord is battling each and every moment for me.

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance

about what we do not see.” 

Hebrews 11:1

Yesterday was treatment 10.  So basically 1/3 of the way done.  I am at complete peace under my mask and honestly just love to worship loud and pray for those of you have given me prayer needs.  Listen, Jesus is holding my hand and my warriors are there battling and we are just worshiping and getting rid of those tumors in Jesus name.

I have been off of my night time steroid for two days….yeah!  I have slept better, which is good but, I’m getting less done at night -ha!  Yesterday my sweet girls were able to come to treatment with me.  I think they got tickled at how loud my music is…you can hear it outside the room – they had to post on Instagram the jam session.  I like to worship loud!  Anyway, they were able to meet my awesome team and see how the table moves and how the lasers zap me and the process.  I was blessed that they wanted to come.  I love getting to see the “usual” patients and to be able to for them as well.  God is so good to just bring sweet and wonderful people into our lives.  Love it.

My friend Tami picked the girls and I up so we could try and get the things they needed for church camp coming up.  We had fun driving around town to Good Will and Party City collecting things for Orange team and for Garrett’s Yellow team.  I love that they are so excited about camp.  I love that they love Jesus as much as they do.  I love that they have friends and teammates that challenge them and point them to Christ.  What a blessing that is for me.

I have been blessed by some pretty awesome teens and their families.  I know I’ve mentioned before on here that I coach soccer… but, not sure I ever said I never set out to coach soccer.  Back when Garrett was 4 they needed parent volunteers so we gathered our Bible Study kids together and made a little team and us parents enjoyed the Saturdays we got to hang out watching our kids “compete” lol.  I always waited and wondered when someone else would take over, but around here, soccer isn’t quite at the level of where it was in Minnesota when I was growing up.  Coaches are needed and if you know anything and are willing to do it you are pretty much it.  I’ve committed to coaching my kids and their friends for a long time.  Through this time, I have had the privilege to love on and serve so many players that it has been such a blessing to me.  Every kid I coach becomes my own.  I love to watch them work hard, try, fail, try and succeed.  Greatest feeling ever.  I don’t know how long the Lord will have me coach.  Really don’t.  But, I love ever moment and every player.

I have been blessed by so many who have stopped by, texted me, brought me sweet little gifts and just have come to hug me.  If you haven’t made investing in young people part of your life… you are missing out.  Greatest, greatest blessings ever.

I have been blessed by so many cards and I love putting them in my scrapbook – thanks Elaine Shnaekel! It has been such a blessing to fill those pages with so many awesome prayers, words and encouragement.  Thank you!  I also have a sweet little artist named Kate Chumley – a younger soccer player, future Hornet?- who has drawn me some sweet blessings of scripture.  My walls are full of God’s promises and Truths and I stand and just marvel at what I see.

We were blessed by a sweet visit from a Stuttgart native who also goes to church with us now.  She also shares the same birthday as Abbey and Ashton so they have enjoyed times of celebration together through the years.  Alana Foster brought us the most scrumptious dinner and stayed to spend time with us.  Such a blessing.  We love you Alana!  

“Every part of Scripture is God-breathed and useful one way or another-showing us truth, exposing our rebellion, correcting mistakes, training us to live God’s way.  Through the Word we are put together and shaped for the tasks God has for us.”  2 Timothy 3:16-17

I had wanted to blog yesterday…but just got to enjoy people.  But, the Lord’s words were so strong for me yesterday that I don’t want to miss out on sharing with you the power of God’s Word and it started with an 8 year old King named Josiah.

There have been so many times in my life that I have wondered if God could ever really use me for something.  I probably struggled more with this as I was younger.  But, I think we all wonder if our life has purpose.  Let me encourage you to say, YES!  Your life is significant and the Lord desires to use you in His special way and in His special time.  Every life was created for a special sweet plan and there’s NO ONE else on earth now or ever that was made for what God made you for.  I think this is an important truth for us to understand.  And as we look at 2 Kings….. we are going to see this pretty clearly.

So 8 year old Josiah is king and he grows up and in 2 Kings 22:2 it says “He did what was pleasing in the Lord’s sight and followed the example of his ancestor David.  He did not turn away from ding what was right.”  

From a young age he was committed to the Lord.  He spent the beginning of his time cleaning up the temple and rebuilding what was broken.  After all of the battles of previous kings construction needed to occur.  It sounded like it must’ve been a mess… because in the middle of everything we read this… 2 Kings 22:8

“Hilkiah the high priest said to Shaphan the court secretary, “I have found the Book of the Law in the Lord’s Temple.” Then Hilkiah gave the scroll to Shaphan, and he read it.”

Shaphan found the scroll in the mess in the temple and took the book and read it to the King.  And this is how Josiah responded..

¹¹ When the king heard what was written in the Book of the Law, he tore his clothes in despair. ¹² Then he gave these orders to Hilkiah the priest, Ahikam son of Shaphan, Acbor son of Micaiah, Shaphan the court secretary, and Asaiah the king’s personal adviser: ¹³ “Go to the Temple and speak to the Lord for me and for the people and for all Judah. Inquire about the words written in this scroll that has been found. For the Lord’s great anger is burning against us because our ancestors have not obeyed the words in this scroll. We have not been doing everything it says we must do.”

The king was in distress and tore his clothes!  He knew what that they were not following the law and he took action.  He knew how important it was and he had the priests to inquire and hear from the Lord and the Lord promised to not bring disaster on the people during Josiah’s reign because the kings heart was so broken about what had been going on in Judah and Jerusalem.  Then Josiah brought all the people together and this is what we read in 2 Kings 23:1-3

“Then the king summoned all the elders of Judah and Jerusalem. ² And the king went up to the Temple of the Lord with all the people of Judah and Jerusalem, along with the priests and the prophets—all the people from the least to the greatest. There the king read to them the entire Book of the Covenant that had been found in the Lord’s Temple. ³ The king took his place of authority beside the pillar and renewed the covenant in the Lord’s presence. He pledged to obey the Lord by keeping all his commands, laws, and decrees with all his heart and soul. In this way, he confirmed all the terms of the covenant that were written in the scroll, and all the people pledged themselves to the covenant.”

He spent the remaining years of his life on mission.  Paragraph after paragraph where he was committed to tear down and get rid of every detestable thing that didn’t honor the Lord.  What, there’s a pole over here… no big deal?  YES big deal.  Get rid of it, burn it get everything out and get rid of it.  NO excuses.  Nothing can remain.  He cleaned house big time.  Don’t care the monetary cost, it goes against the Lord.  The law of the Lord and what he read convicted him so deeply, that he was all in.  Oh to have a heart like Josiah’s.  The Lord never promised him great wealth, success in everything…but that wasn’t his focus.  His focus was to DO what was right and pleasing to the Lord.

How committed am I when the Lord reveals Truth to me?  How would my life change if I was all in like Josiah?  What if I was that committed to get rid of everything that goes against the Lord?  Then end of the passage talks about his life … 2 Kings 23:25

“Never before had there been a king like Josiah, who turned to the Lord with all his heart and soul and strength, obeying all the laws of Moses.  And there has never been a king like him since.”

What a legacy.  What a life.  Oh to be a Josiah.  Lord, may our hearts, souls and strength be all in focused on You and may we stand firm on your Truth each moment of every day.  His Word is powerful and has profound impact on lives that will submit to it’s authority and when we choose to let it change us.  Josiah let it…and it changed a nation.

This was my passage out of Psalms yesterday.  And as God does it went right with Josiah.

Where do you most find delight?  We are promised JOY if we walk away from sin and bask and soak in the Word.  Not only are we refreshed but, we are promised FRUIT!  Not just once…but with each season.  I wrote on the side over there “BE ALL IN OR NEVER LIVE” . There’s an amazing life waiting for us to experience.  I thought I had experienced the Lord…but He keeps showing me everyday that the more I dig down and push those roots down…the water is so refreshing, filling and indescribable – a JOY filled life that cannot be explained by man.

Thank you warriors for praying for me.  I have some things for us to focus on:

• Thankful thankful…last night no leg cramps – tried some Poweraid Zero they told me to try for the electrolytes or whatever 🙂 Also trying to buy water that has the electrolyte element in it.  
• Probably a bit more swelling today in my face and hands.  So don’t know if it’s the steroid drop off or the sodium that’s in the Poweraid so trying to mix things up today a bit to see what I can figure out
• I have a couple of extra appts tomorrow – blood counts, seeing the oncologist – after radiation tomorrow.  Pray for us to ask the right questions and for the doctor to have wisdom 
• Pray for good rest for me.  I have to be honest, I think about a lot of things and I know I need to shut down and just rest.  So pray my brain will just allow me to rest best.
• Pray that we are able to get everything together for the kid’s church trip and we aren’t running around crazy at the end – you know teenagers!

“This is the confidence we have in approachingGod: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.”

1 John 5:14

This little bird has sat on her nest outside my closet window for at least a month.  I feel like I noticed her out there around the time my seizure occurred.  I’ve prayed for this bird… yes I have lol because I know the creatures lurking around and she isn’t that high off the ground.  Every morning I open my blinds to see her sitting there and then yesterday, I see three little baby birds moving around being fed.  If God will care for these small little animals, how much more will he care for you and me?

Had a fantastic weekend with my sister and family being here.  Blessed to have my only tribe with me on Sunday night.  The kids were gracious to walk around the loop with us before their dinner was warmed up and Scott and I just make a couple more loops around the block.  It’s nice for the two of us to just have some time alone and talk about all we’ve seen God doing in our lives.  Literally cannot walk enough too much to say.

Scott has been so good to me to make sure I am juicing enough.  We had been blessed by my Grandma Peterson, who was a health food person way before it was cool like it is now.  She had her own store in Nebraska and was teaching health decades ago.  She had given us her Juice Tiger as she was getting rid of things.  So we have been using it….until it quit working.  Scott quickly went to the store to get me another one and makes sure that I am loaded down on good veggies and some fruit.  Very thankful for how he cares for me.

Today treatment started up again.  Oh before I forget!  I got to eat some of my blueberries this morning with my sister’s homemade granola she made me!  I planted a couple blueberry bushes a couple years ago and this year they are so sweet and delicious – such a treat.  I enjoyed those as I sat and read my Bible this morning.

I was blessed after treatment to be picked up by my friend Tami Draper and she took me to the healthy nutrition zone for my “lunch” after treatment.  So blessed by her friendship and how she willing cares for so many and right now for me.  She has a heart of Gold and Loves the Lord and just encourages me in so many ways.  After she left, Scott’s cousin Amy Hubbard came over.  She has a garden so brought us some fresh veggies…yum and some of her jarred pickles.  How fun, right?  Just love sharing stories and life with her.

“The Name of the Lord is a strong fortress; the godly run to him and are safe.”   

Proverbs 18:10

Well guys if you are like me and have been loving some Hezekiah the last couple days…I won’t disappoint you.  But, I will tell you he doesn’t make it past today.  I’ve been a bit enamored with him, as you can probably tell and just look at his struggles and journey and have been really able to relate.  I feel like the Lord has really opened my heart to struggles and encouraged me to step deep.  He did the same today.

As I read these verses my heart hurt and I was sad… I felt like I was losing a friend.  Hezekiah had done so much to follow the Lord, he was safe inside the fortress of the Lord and then BAM……

2 Kings 20:1-3

In those days Hezekiah became ill and was at the point of death. The prophet Isaiah son of Amoz went to him and said, “This is what the Lord says: Put your house in order, because you are going to die; you will not recover.”

² Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and prayed to the Lord, ³ “Remember, Lord, how I have walked before you faithfully and with wholehearted devotion and have done what is good in your eyes.” And Hezekiah wept bitterly.

Hezekiah had done so many great things, yet he was told – you will die.  He cried out to the Lord and wept.  He asked the Lord to REMEMBER.  Not to SAVE him.  But to REMEMBER his heart and what he had done.  And then it says he got real… he wept bitterly.  The definition for Bitterly : in an angry, hurt, or resentful way.  He cried and was angry and hurt that God would at this point allow him to die.  Now that’s getting real with the Lord. 

This has hit me as I have read so many stories of cancer patients who have been hit between the eyes with this new reality and in the midst of the news, trying to figure out how to emotionally respond the “right way – is there one?”.  If you have been given hard news, look at Hezekiah and be encouraged and know that being honest with the Lord is what He desires most.  He doesn’t want us to come to Him and pretend, He desires hearts that will be real with Him.  He desires to BE with us and to HEAR us and then He does what ONLY He can… He picks us up, holds us and then He RESTORES.

2 Kings 20 :4-6

 But before Isaiah had left the middle courtyard,^[a] this message came to him from the Lord: ⁵ “Go back to Hezekiah, the leader of my people. Tell him, ‘This is what the Lord, the God of your ancestor David, says: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears. I will heal you, and three days from now you will get out of bed and go to the Temple of the Lord. ⁶ I will add fifteen years to your life, and I will rescue you and this city from the king of Assyria. I will defend this city for my own honor and for the sake of my servant David.’”

Isaiah is given something new to tell the King.  What comfort do I find in these verses:  the Lord HEARS us when we pray, He SEES what we are going through and he RESTORES us.  Take comfort and have assurance that when we truly humble our hearts and pour out our requests to the Lord he HEARS and SEES us.  Do you struggle to pray?  Do you wonder how to even start?  God doesn’t desire perfect words, He wants a heart that is REAL.  If you struggle on what to say, tell Him.  Don’t give up, press in and continue to pray and watch the Lord move your heart to line up with His and you will be praying in ways and for things you never would’ve imagined.  Trust me.  I’m amazed everyday.

Today on my FB and Insta page I shared the following passage in Psalms.  As we think about bringing our requests before the Lord it’s important and necessary for us to spend time with Him focused on PRAISE!  No matter what we are going through, we can praise Him.  No matter what.  Don’t make excuses that make you feel ok with complaining or living a praiseless life.  I had mentioned a few blogs ago, maybe (brain crazy) about how when I get the weird taste in my mouth and throw a lemon drop in my mouth, I wanted to be intentional about using that time to thank the Lord and to praise Him.  Think about your day…where could you be intentional to Praise God for who He is, what He has done, how you see Him working, His attributes, His promises… I could go on.  The way we see life, the way we live, the way we respond to people… our witness would just bubble over and out of us.  Today we choose to PRAISE LOUD and AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE!

I wanted to share a couple of awesome reminders that I have been given that I get to wear around my neck everyday.  The first one I asked to have Psalms 140:7 on the back of a charm it says “… you shield my head in the day of battle.” In the front it says My Strength with a warrior arrow!  Love it!  The second necklace was given to me by one of Scott’s bosses, Janet.  She doesn’t know how much I love the truth of “BUT GOD” but, has always been a banner for me. With God ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.  The second charm says Hope Warrior on it because that is my calling and focus for this battle I am in.  The angels are battling hard for me and Jesus continues to just hold my hand and minister to my heart.  I am so thankful.

So many of you have faithfully asked for and prayed for me.  Here are some needs that I have:

• I go in for treatment everyday at 11:30am.  So pray specifically for the radiation to break up and dissolve the tumors.  
• They have cut out my night steroid today.  So please pray that my brain cooperates and doesn’t decide to hurt or swell for fun.  I am really wanting to have less stimulation before bedtime.  I don’t need to be walking around … I probably need to sleep lol
• Prayers for my legs and cramping and a bit of weakness.  Now mind you nothing is going to take these soccer legs down…but I want added strength and to not be walking around the house with cramping.  I’ve talked with the dr and hopefully the added beverages they suggested will help.
• Continued prayers that all the poisons leave my body
• Pray too that as I am in treatment I remember all the people I am trying to remember to pray for.  I would be honored to pray for you or anything going on in your life. The Lord has given me 18 minutes where He and I can just BE and I want to be in the fight for you.
• The older three will leave for church camp at the end of the week.  I had planned to help, but with all of this, not going to happen.  So just pray that they are spurred on in their walk and take time to bless fellow students while there.  I am hoping to make a visit at some point.  Can’t stay away from my church teens…love them all too much

Many blessings and praises friends!  Love you all!  Super super close to the shirts being ready to be ordered and I cannot wait to see God’s TRUTHS worn around everywhere and the opportunity for us to offer HOPE and battle for hurting people.  All Praise to JESUS!

“Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” 

Jeremiah 33:3

While at the Museum of Discovery I saw this picture and I thought…never in my life would I have thought that something that was started back in the late 1800’s radiation would be a part of my life.  Yet her willingness to test and try is being used today to shrink/kill my tumors.  Thank you Lord for giving Marie the wisdom to begin this!

Weekends are a good break for me.  No appointments and just time to do some more normal type things.  We were extremely blessed this weekend because my sister, Alissa and her husband Randy (and their 4 kids) came for a visit.  My sister moved to Dallas a few years ago (is that right?????) and now we will go there for soccer tourneys and just to visit when we can.  Her four kids are under 5 and so they love to follow their older cousins around and do what “big kids do.”  My sister is also pregnant with TWIN girls!  So super cool how both of us will have twin daughters.  She is due the end of September.  So please pray for her as the girls develop that everything goes exactly as it should.  Pray for her as she and Randy desire to raise these kids to love the Lord most.

She was sweet to bring me some homemade oils to try and some really good homemade granola.  You wouldn’t believe what she can accomplish even with all those little in tow.  I got a little adventurous and we went to the Museum of Discovery Saturday for a couple of hours.  Course I love to watch the amazement of anyone who sees something they think is really cool.  For my nephews and niece it was pretty much every couple of minutes.

I have to admit, UGH I’m probably not sleeping the best so I was probably a little more tired than I wanted to be so when we got home so, yes I laid down for a bit.  We let the kids run through the sprinklers and try the slip and slide.  All the while I’m just taking it all in .. these are memories and moments we won’t get again and these kids grow up fast!

The clan left to go back to the hotel because everyone was tired – it’s hard to not nap!  Scott’s boss John Shrewsbury and wife Debbie, who live around the corner from us picked us up in their boat right before our neighborhood fireworks started.  It was a different view on the water and just a bit more restful than on the shore.  I am thankful that they have come to visit with us and pray with us about all of this. It’s great to know that Scott has such a special group of people that he works with.

I love Sundays…. I love them more now than I used to really.  I love to get up get in the Word and then head to church and worship.  To REALLY WORSHIP.  I love to see my kids worship, the other students worship… and honestly I just want to jump up on the pews sometimes and just spin around because the God of the universe has done so many amazing things in my life!  Don’t worry I restrain myself…a bit 🙂 HA

As I studied this morning…of course God wanted to teach me something and showed up to teach me.  I am so thankful for that everyday.  I literally lay in bed and try to be a good patient, rest a bit longer but, I’m giddy and raise my arm and say- in my head -since Scott may be asleep still, “It’s almost time…I can’t wait… here I am and I’m ready..bring it on!” I get up and start bringing my bag full of studying things, my water, coffee, my juice, my breakfast and my medicine and sit in the presence of the Lord on my deck.  It is the most glorious place on the earth for me.

That was all a side note to what the Lord showed me today… 🙂 . Get yourself a place, a schedule and a routine and expect the Lord to teach you something.  He wants to…trust me!

“Praise the Lord!  Sing to the Lord a new song.  Sing his praises in the assembly of the faithful.”  Psalms 149:1

I am still studying 2 Kings and Hezekiah, who I mentioned yesterday was in a bit of bind.  I honestly was a little upset with him as he was making deals with the Assyrian king to give him bits and pieces of the temple.  I thought Hezekiah, where’s the trust, what are you doing?  The Assyrian king brought his thoughts to the king and the people, mocking the Lord and trying to get the people to not trust Hezekiah as king.  Honestly, things weren’t looking good for the people of Judah.

Hezekiah got the report from his staff and his response …

2 Kings 19:1 “When King Hezekiah heard their report, he tore his clothes and put on burlap and went into the temple of the Lord.”

He gathered his close team and sent them to Isaiah because he was in such distress about what was going on.  Isaiah sent a message back…

2 Kings 19:5-7 “After King Hezekiah’s officials delivered the king’s message to Isaiah the prophet replied, “say to your master “This what the Lord says: Do not be disturbed by this blasphemous speech against me from the Assyrian king’s messengers.  Listen I myself will move against him…”

Hezekiah got messages from the surrounding kings and leaders basically questioning his thought to believe that God would give him victory.  They brought doubt and made him think.  So what did he do with this new information?  

2 Kings 19:14-19

14 Hezekiah received the letter from the messengers and read it. Then he went up to the temple of the Lord and spread it out before the Lord. ¹⁵ And Hezekiah prayed to the Lord: “Lord, the God of Israel, enthroned between the cherubim, you alone are God over all the kingdoms of the earth. You have made heaven and earth. ¹⁶ Give ear, Lord, and hear; open your eyes, Lord, and see; listen to the words Sennacherib has sent to ridicule the living God.

¹⁷ “It is true, Lord, that the Assyrian kings have laid waste these nations and their lands. ¹⁸ They have thrown their gods into the fire and destroyed them, for they were not gods but only wood and stone, fashioned by human hands. ¹⁹ Now, Lord our God, deliver us from his hand, so that all the kingdoms of the earth may know that you alone, Lord, are God.”

Hezekiah’s response – Go straight to the Lord, humble himself, layout all his worries and  struggles and then he poured out his desires before the Lord.  I just love that his heart wasn’t “deliver us so that we succeed. deliver us so we win.”  But he asked to be delivered so that the kingdoms of the earth may know that YOU ALONE, LORD are GOD.”  Love this.  When we seek to be delivered from difficulty or hardship, why are we asking?  What if our prayers were like Hezekiah’s – SO THAT THE WHOLE EARTH would KNOW that YOU are GOD!  Lord make that our battle cry!

Isaiah blessed Hezekiah with words from the Lord to let him know what was about to happen going forward.  The word of the Lord was spoken against the Assyrian king and he was about to be brought down, hard.  His sons would eventually kill him.  But, before that the Lord promised a special warrior.  The angel of the Lord went into the Assyrian camp and in one night killed 185,000 soldiers.  Those that survived woke up and saw the corpses and decided it was time to get out of town.

The Lord sent 1 angel to battle an entire army.  I’ve mentioned on here before that I have a couple angels that are in my treatment room with me – I don’t know now, maybe the Lord has given me only one and that’s all I need.  I love to lay there and just imagine them doing what they do to battle my tumors and declare complete victory in the end!  I just love the picture of what is going on that I cannot even see.

Hezekiah had completely put his trust in the Lord and he knew that he himself could not be victorious.  He laid his requests before the Lord and surrendered his fears and desires and rested in the Lord’s hands.  He desired for the whole earth to see the Lord for who He is and that was his heart’s focus.  In the end he wasn’t asked to fight, God fought for him with his own angel and Hezekiah and the people were freed.

I shared this on Facebook this morning and Instagram but, it goes with this so well today and you may not have seen it.

This is me just on my bed raising my hand, jumping for joy and praising God!  I had not read this yet when I was already raising my arm in victory this morning.  I’m praising my Father all day, but I am also standing ready.  I am ready to battle anything the devil wants to try and feed me to turn me away.  The Lord has given me His Word and promise to never leave me or forsake me.  The devil will not have one moment of time…I am a determined warrior and this battle belongs to the LORD!

Thank you fellow warriors for your prayers.  I am blessed by all of you:

• Pray for my continued energy.  Sometimes ugh….I get tired.  I am asking for better sleep at night so I can be rested for the day
• Great peace during treatment this wee
• Continued flushing of all this junk out of my body.  I’ve noticed my face is probably retaining fluid some – so yes my face is rounder.  It’s just more Jesus in me… right?
• I have a full day of dr appts on Thursday.  So just pray that I ask the right questions and that everything is looking just like it should at this point.

“No,  the Lord’s delight is in those who fear him, those who put their hope in his unfailing love.” Psalms 147:11

Goodness it’s been a great day.  It’s like Christmas… only better.  I love to hear from people and share life with them and just be with them.  I am beyond humbled and thankful for every person who who has called, emailed, responded to these blogs, texted, come to visit, sent cards, unexpected gifts…. Listen – HOW DO I KNOW THE LORD HAS ME?  Because I am surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses cheering me on and encouraging me to battle hard.  Blessed….blessed….blessed. And I smile 🙂

Day 8 on my treatment.  Finished a whole week!  Yeah.  I have been blessed with a great team that cares for me and loves me and takes care of my for my 18 1/2 minute adventure everyday.  By the end of this, it will feel like visiting family…honestly already does.  They blessed me today to tell me that another patient listened to my CD during her treatment.  Love that.  Pray that they have the exact wisdom to zap these tumors away!

I need to brag a little bit.  I know I have mentioned a lot of people on here… mostly new people.  But, my hubby has been the best through all of this.  He has been my physical rock and has allowed me to just soak in the Word and Be.  He has taken care of every detail for me, prayed with me and over me and has been everything I have needed.  When we talk about, “for better or worse – sickness and in health…” we’ve lived a pretty easy life up to this point.  Nothing to really talk about or be surprised by.  Then this.  He was the one who had to call 9-1-1, really it was 9-1-0 and he couldn’t figure out what was going on… but made sure that I was ok until the ambulance got me.  He hasn’t slept great, he’s been on the phone with doctors around the country and has researched beyond what I know.  He only shares what he thinks I need to know and has just been ALL I ever needed from my husband.  Scott I am beyond thankful for you and I am thankful that you trust in Jesus as much as I do.  You know He has a plan and you have allowed Him to teach you and strengthen you through this.  Our kids are watching you and seeing Jesus.  I love you more and more each day of this journey.  Feel so blessed. Continue to pray that he has everything he needs and is strengthened each and every day.

After treatment today, I came home and was blessed by a couple of young ladies.  I have never met these girls but, goodness if they don’t blow me away.  I opened up a couple of cards from them.  Hayley Holtz and Elizabeth Palmer.  Elizabeth was a Bryant graduate I have never met but they are spending their summer at KALEO camp in Orlando Florida.  They sent me cards saying they were praying for me and they ministered to my heart today through their words.  Hayley was a soccer player…so bam instant connection there and they love Jesus – so even a better!  Girls if you are reading this…thank you.  Keep praying and keep ministering at that camp!  Would give you a hug if I could.  I cheated and looked up Elizabeth’s pic. 🙂 . Her mom has been so sweet to me as well making sure I get veggies to juice which has been so awesome and a super blessing as well.  God’s people are amazing! Pray that God uses them just how he has designed this summer and that their faith grows with each moment!  Praying great things for them.

I had a special text this morning from a special girl and her mom.  Caroline Campbell and her mom Heidi came by to bless me with a special visit.  They were sort of the ones to rope me into thinking about helping at Bryant High School and then obviously the next step was me getting the coaching job and all that’s come with it.  Caroline plays at the University of Arkansas and is a super smart funny future chemical engineer.  Love them so much.  I wasn’t thinking when they left so I made them take a selfie as they headed back up to Fayetteville, ha!  I would ask you to pray for Caroline’s dad who has battled headaches….not just normal ones… severe debilitating…  I am asking for relief for him now…it’s been too long a battle and they need relief.  Thank you

“Whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.” 1 John 2:6

As I was studying today, I was really blown away and focused to the fact that we are people who have a hard time getting rid of what hinders us, sin and moving forward free.  I’ve thought about that a lot lately and mentioned it a bit yesterday and some of the writings….but was really hit by it today.  Am I truly walking with Jesus, in Jesus…. all in with Him or am I holding on to things that will pull me away and eventually bring me down?

In 2 Kings 15:3-4 it says, “He did what was pleasing in the Lord’s sight, just as his father, Amaziah, had done.  BUT he did not destroy the pagan shrines, and the people still offered sacrifices and burned incense there.”  So this is talking about King Uzziah who rules over Judah.  He was only 16 years when he became king.  His heart was focused on pleasing the Lord and wanted to follow after Him, BUT.  There’s that word, BUT.  He was in, BUT not ALL in.  As king he would’ve had every right to tear down those shrines and tell the people, nope not going to use those things.  BUT instead he allowed sin to creep at the door and wait to pounce.  And here’s what happens next.

His son, Jotham became king.  2 Kings 15:34-35 “Jotham did what was pleasing in the Lord’s sight.  He did everything his father, Uzziah, had done.  BUT he did not destroy the pagan shrines, and the people still offered sacrifices and burned incense there.  He rebuilt the upper gate of the temple of the Lord.”  So here we are second generation still not ALL in.

After this his son Ahaz begins to rule and after two generations of allowing sin to a part of life we see a dramatic change in the heart of the new king.  “He did not do what was pleasing in the sight of the Lord his God, as his ancestor David had done.  INSTEAD, he followed the example of the kings of Israel, even sacrificing his own son in the fire.  In this way, he followed the detestable practices of the pagan nations the Lord had driven from the land ahead of the Israelites.”  2 Kings 16:2-3

So why did this hit me today?  How often do I claim to love the Lord…my life evens shows it…but I am allowing sin to stick around because “it’s not that bad??” It could be worse.  What’s the big deal?  I go to church on Sunday, listen to Jesus music and I’m a nice person.  And yet I allow gossip, selfishness, love of things and other things going on in our lives… that we shrug off as not a big deal.  That’s what these kings were doing.  They knew these shrines existed…they knew sin was in the camp and they just allowed it because – I love God and what’s the big deal if I have these little things around.  Obviously, three generations later it cost the great grandson his life.  When we choose to step forward and follow Christ we really have to be ALL in and ready to get rid of anything that may hinder us or cause us to stumble.  It’s serious.

As I continued reading in Acts, I thought wow, completely different thing going on here:

Acts 19:18-20  (NIV)

¹⁸ Many of those who believed now came and openly confessed what they had done. ¹⁹ A number who had practiced sorcery brought their scrolls together and burned them publicly. When they calculated the value of the scrolls, the total came to fifty thousand drachmas.^{[a] 20} In this way the word of the Lord spread widely and grew in power. 

When you look at other versions it says we are talking about 3 million dollars was the value of the scrolls.  Theses people were so committed and confessed their sins that they were willing to give up A LOT.  Their actions caused the Word of the Lord to spread and it spread with power.  These believers could’ve done what the Kings had done.  I believe sure I do, but going to just put these scrolls over here..or better yet I could sell them and make some money!  No they were so committed to the Lord they chose to burn them.  The line in the sand meant something to them.  They stepped across and left everything else behind.

I have to admit, I’ve been those Kings.  I have allowed things to exist in my life because it didn’t seem TOO bad.  Yet those ugly things always reared their head later and burned me and brought me away from the Lord.

The Lord has brought me on this journey in my life.  He has challenged me, prepared me and is now asking me are you willing to give up everything for me?  Will you tear down everything and burn anything that would pull you away from me?  I thought I said yes before…but I am so thankful that the Lord is showing me that I haven’t been honest with Him and through this journey he’s given me, I’m ready.  I want the Lord to completely DELIGHT in me as the verse at the beginning said.  What an honor to give the Lord this gift.  Can you imagine the Lord giddy and just smiling because we are all in?

“No,  the Lord’s delight is in those who fear him, those who put their hope in his unfailing love.” Psalms 147:11

If you are struggling to lay down everything…ask Him to reveal what is holding you back and commit to lay it down and walk away.  Be set free and watch the Lord’s DELIGHT blow you away!

So many blessings to all of you!  Somethings to pray about:

• A great and blessed weekend with my sister and family
• Pray that I get good rest – I’m feeling good but want to stay a head of things lol
• Continue to pray that the chemo medicine and everything flushes out of my body
• Good family time with the kids and Scott this weekend as well